Emotional Dumping: How Your Brain and Emotions May Trick You Into Thinking Nobody Cares About You

If you want to know how exciting and awe-inspiring, yet at the same time bewildering and frightening different cultures can be subscribe to this blog via email to get notified every time a new post is published.

Have I been talking only about myself for the past hour?

Image Credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/women-laughing-on-beach-3727658/

I’m back blogging and this is my first post for 2021. I have more than 70 blog post ideas and I write them all down on my notepad when I write my subsequent post, which never happened, as I have been procrastinating a lot on writing, although I know it is one of the best therapy and self-care that has worked well for me in the past years. I do think that coming to the heightened sense of awareness about sharing part of my life and what basically runs in my mind, and presenting these on a public blog for everyone to read can be extremely vulnerable and I was not really comfortable doing that just yet. I think that is also one of the reasons why I created a separate Instagram page for my blog posts, as I wasn’t comfortable or confident enough to brand myself as a blogger to those in my close network.
I also have been listening to podcasts a lot and I stumbled upon The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast by Nat Lue (she also has a blog and I coincidentally came across her post on dealing with drainers while browsing articles to understand about Emotional Dumping – a term I just learned today.


I also owe a big shoutout to Andrea from the Booksters Club on Instagram. We connected on Instagram from my business bookish page, International Book Promotion towards the end of last year, together with a bunch of other Instagrammers who read mostly non-fiction. Andrea announced that she is rolling out her coaching business and would like to work with the first 20 clients to get started with it at no cost, and I stepped forward to try it out, although I had the idea of approaching a coach in September 2020 when I fell into the pit of depression again. The idea of opening up to a life coach has always been a little scary but I went ahead with it, and also won a copy of Evan Carmichael’s book ‘Built To Serve’ through Andrea. The last week of the 8-week long session is coming to an end this week and I have to say I learned A LOT about tools that are useful for personal development, and I think what I discovered today that I am sharing in this blog post below is largely due to the ability to raise awareness and identify triggers that I have learned through the “Find Yourself” program. Thank you, Andrea.


So, today I sort of cracked a puzzle and discovered something new about myself, and I wanted to document the whole lot of things that I Googled about. An incident that happened a couple of days ago led me to feel down and I was wanting to have someone to share my disappointments with although deep inside, I wanted to remain silent and process what had just happened. I did call up a friend and even sent messages to people out of anxiety unintentionally, although I knew that was not going to help.


I was upset and mainly because I was not able to understand how to go inside and do the inner work when I clearly knew I needed myself more than anyone else. When I did some self-reflection, I suddenly noticed that this pattern stemmed from when I was a kid. I get restless when there is an issue cropping up in my life, causing a great level of entropy. My busy mind would feed on the issue and get diverted from the main thing that I should be focusing on; be it work or everyday life. I would also be looking forward to sharing what had happened to my friends and possibly ruminate on it for some time before I could detox the thoughts from my mind.


This is also exactly how my downtime escalated into depression last September as I was looking to get in touch with someone for help and nobody was available at that instant. This is also because I live on my own and I cannot meet colleagues in person as I live on my own and run my business from home as well, and most of my work-related interactions happen online (I know that the pandemic has made things worst as well now for many others). When you don’t find anyone to talk to, you think nobody cares about you and you fall into the pit of depression, estrange yourself from people, become emotionally unavailable, and build walls high up!


When I Googled for ideas and possibly articles to shed light on my perplexion, I came across the term ‘emotional dumping‘. As harsh as it seemed at first, I realized that there are instances where when I am overwhelmed by something, I would not even be asking about the wellbeing of those I am conversing with and I will mostly make the conversation about the issue. Confiding in friends and family is a normal human need and I think it is healthy but when we are in control of our thoughts and emotions, we would be narrating the experience in a calmer manner, and not rattling in a chatty and anxious way. 


I realized that I am usually very content with my own company when I am not in a troubled state of mind and sometimes only call people to talk about the problem. I felt that it is not wrong since I do not bother them all the time and I used to think that friends in need are friends indeed since I have also lent ears to those who needed my listening ears but I think that it undermines my ability to sit with the thoughts and find the way out. When I reflected deeper, I noticed that I do not get stressed about work and certain other aspects of my life, no matter how stressful it gets because I simply can withstand the stress and believe in my capacity to thrive beyond the challenges presented. Hence, I believe that at instances where I feel the urge to run to people for solace, I might have had a series of failures in the past in handling similar situations, which prompts me to always seek validation.


I think that emotional dumpers are craving for connection and validation (which may not be a good thing) and would love to have someone listen to them or possibly reassure them. Seeking validation may not be a good thing as we cannot expect others to genuinely validate our actions or emotions. We might be running into someone who would dismiss our experience or use our rather disheveled state of mind to gaslight us because we are not in control or content with how we process our thoughts in order to gain a #senseofself.


I have also noticed that in the event there is emotional turbulence, I usually come across people who do not really understand the context of the issue I am facing, and I would usually end up draining my energy in explaining myself, as it is almost impossible to explain the underlying reasons as to why I feel how I feel. You may have encountered an issue with a friend who had passed me inconsiderate comments on a sensitive topic and when you share that incident with another person, you may get feedback like “it’s okay, maybe you should not take it personally”, and you go like “why are you not understanding what I feel” and “oh, you don’t get it”. You cannot possibly put everything into words as there are deep underlying issues that only you know exist. The real catch here is that probably the listener has not understood how emotionally scarring the incident is towards yourself, and possibly your past experience with abusers triggers you easily. When there are a huge depth and breadth to emotions and experiences, it is usually not possible to be communicated from a surface level. 


Emotional dumpers are also people who like to analyze situations and like to solve issues and talk to others when they do not have solutions at hand. But it is not a good idea when those listening do not give the rightly fitting advice (this is why it is better to consult professional help). Only you have the solution to figure things out best and the way is to go inside and do the inner work. Also, when you talk about issues in the hope that others would be able to provide you solutions, you are not strengthening your #senseofself and gut feelings. Talking about the issues also multiplies its power, and you go deep into the spiral of vicious cycle. One of the worst implications of emotional dumping is that you attract toxic people masquerading as listeners. People who are not genuinely interested in helping you but wanting to seek pleasure with your struggles would pretend to be helping you out when they are not. 


I have been journalling from day 1 of 2021 until today and it has been extremely liberating and helps process thoughts better. Googling and reading a lot on the issues plaguing us can definitely open us to a wide array of new information that could help formulate actionable steps for healing. We can also channel the need to analyze things into activities like blogging/vlogging as this can empower ourselves and others. Neuroplasticity is a field that helps a lot to train your mind to send new information when faced with similar triggers, and this can be done by building new habits and holding on to different counter-reactions when you face similar triggers.

Image credit: https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/LDh1zrSqxaL2kyqpz9jo5Yx_eK5uCzhCc5VgHOp6kTVmwrprNK9joifbUV9E3nrtzPPMc1Zfe3eLsiOIa5nqN9zksB-0SBEGHKHVAZJaAOL8PdDKsWVsB4hrc8Fn8VVp_T3dvv7cxt-DQw
Image credit

What do you think about this post? I welcome your thoughts and views!

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License

Share this post around!

Share

New Year! New Hope ?

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to everyone who reads my blog! I’m back again for the year 2014 ! Sorry for not being around lately as it was holiday season and I chose to spend time with family. My new job has been keeping me occupied too. +Katie Cross I miss you too!! I have some plans for my blog this year.

Before that, what’s your New Year resolution? I have been ranting about how the previous years were monstrous and demeaning in every way to my friends BUT 2013 was AWESOME! I still feel I’m living in the previous year, reluctant to move on. To me, New Year’s day is just another. Your life should stay as awesome as it was in the previous years.

I have decided to bring the positive vibes from my previous year into 2014 so I do not really feel that it is a “New Year”. It’s just another day and another week. I had a fantastic 2013 and I have decided to continue the new adventures I got involved with. I intend to have better career opportunities, meeting new people, exploring new places, doing more crazy yet fun activities, creating a stronger impact via my blog “Thoughts and Views That Matter”.

Oh yeah, furthering studies is not a bad idea after all. So, let’s see what 2014 will offer me… or may be let’s see what I will grab from the opportunities in the 2014. Let’s pledge to live life to the fullest, every single day and you will make the most out of life!

Stay happy, stay motivated, unveil the power of positive mind and you are bound to achieve what your mind can conceive.

Copyrighted.com Registered & Protected  HMG6-MZ9D-6ZAU-NB7A
 I welcome your thoughts and views ! 😀 Thank you for your feedback

Things I Want My Daughters To Know

Mother and Daughter

I have a book named Things I Want My Daughters To Know. I bought this some years back and I think this book expressed the emotional bonding of a mother with her daughters so well. It is one of the books I read that still stays so fresh on my mind and I think the novelist has implied the message a mother would want to let her daughters know before her death. In this story, the mother dies due to cancer and the daughters would discover letters written by the mother after her death that would guide them through their important moments of their life.

Things I Want My Daughters To Know

Inspired by this book, I wanted to come up with the things I would want my daughters to know, if I have any in the future. I thought it would be good to think about this now to mold the future of my children soon.

1. I Want My Daughters To Know That Seeking People’s Approval Hurts

I want them to value themselves for who they are and no longer be the women in the older generation where they used to care for people’s approval about their behaviours and being ‘obedient’ women pleasing men and putting up with their shit.

2. I Want My Daughters To Know That It Is Not A Crime To Have Their Own Opinion

I want my daughters to know that they should always have a firm opinion on any issues and never fear the societies’ and religions’ brutal limitation and control over what women should and shouldn’t do. I want them to know that standing firm by their belief is more important than anything else.

3. I Want My Daughters To Know That They Shouldn’t Allow People To Have Control Over Them

I want them to fly free like a bird, doing what they feel they could do, and pursuing their desire that could complete their seek for a sense of  achievements in life. I would never want them to see as someone who is being taken granted for as a wife, forsaking their own goals in life.

4. I Want My Daughters To Know That They Are Women With Class

I want them to define their own life and be a woman with class. I want them to carve success in a unique way and be a leader, not a follower and most importantly be different from everyone else. I want them to be wise and not innocent, taking guard of themselves and analysing stuffs from their own perspective. 

Lessons Learnt 4 Years Away From Home

Running Away From Home

You really thought I ran away from home huh? Kidding. I was away from home to pursue my higher studies and now back HOME. As of June 2013, it has been 4 years I’m away from home, learning to handle life somehow on my own and I think after all these years, I could make a good conclusion on what I have learned so far while running life according to my own instinct. So what lessons did I acquired?

I was attached to a local Technical University after my STPM (which is equivalent to what we all know as A level). I was offered a degree course in Chemical Engineering in June 2009 and now I’m done with it after 4 years. It was indeed the first time away from home and that was when I left my comfort zone to learn life apart from what the books taught me.

I feel those 4 years made me into a different person altogether. I may not have changed very much from the way I look but internally, my thoughts and attitudes have been shaped better. If you are a student who just started off your university life or about to go into your future university or higher education institution, I hope you would start learning life altogether, not just looking into what the books have to say. If you do so, you are losing a part of your valuable life and I certainly feel sorry for students who fail to think out of the education scope. These are the conclusions I could make now after the bitter-sweet ride of 4 years.

1. Screw People Aside
The one complicated thing about anything we deal with everywhere is people. From businesses, politics, family, relationship and friends, everything is a mess because people don’t have parallel thoughts with you. I’m not saying you should disregard everyone but there are very little people who are genuinely interested in your well-being. So know who are they and always cherish your relationship with them. Never count on someone who would stab you from the back. I learnt to never really sweat on things happening with people as people come and go in life and all you should know is that you have done good from your part.

2. Keep Your Focus On Your Goals
One thing that keeps your life spicy is having goals in life. These aims are the reason for you to get up and out from your bed. When you have reasonably beneficial goals, you will be focused in life and nothing could distract you from getting what you want. You don’t just live a life at college for a piece of paper that tells your boss you qualified exams alone. I felt I should have pursued writing two years back when I created the blog, yes THIS blog, for my English class (Academic Report Writing I think) and I have abandoned it after three months.

3. Time Is Gold
My lessons in life within that 4 years also taught me that I should appreciate time. Procrastinating is not going to lead us anywhere and I think once you have found the purpose of you living, you will regret time wasted and would never want to waste your time anymore. You will be more grounded. Make use of time to gain as much as you can; knowledge, money and experiences. They say life starts at 40, but I’m not 40 yet to comment on that. Nevertheless, I can say that life starts the moment you want it to get started.

4. Jump Out Of Your Comfort Zone
If you are going to be an ordinary student going to class, sitting for exams and passing with flying colours, you will eventually regret your boring schedule. Take a risk. Of course a calculated risk, do what you have always liked doing or ever dreamed of doing before. Go to the gym, keep yourself fit. At the end of a tiring day, a sense of accomplishment would follow and that is the reason for a peaceful sleep and also the reason for you to wake up the next day.

It’s your life and you choose how to live it. So live it your way in your own terms and grab success your way. Thank you for reading and it will be so nice to have your say on my posts in the comment section regarding your lessons

Why Women Were Reason Behind Their Downfall?

Hello readers, I have started work on my first book, a non-fiction research collection on women’s lives around the globe. I would like to thank +Sheikh Javed Ali Sindhi here for his generosity in guiding me with extensive issues related to honour killing in Pakistan and I am truly thankful for the encouragement I get from all the other Google + readers and writers! 
In regards to the project I’m working on and as an extension to 3 Things That Accelerates Sexual Assault post, I think there were a few notable reasons why women were reason for their own downfall, knowingly and unknowingly, which could should be rectified in order to change the way they get treated by the society as a whole.

Egyptian women in Tahrir Square take part in the anti-government protests last month that led to the downfall of Hosni Mubarak. Photograph: Pedro Ugarte/AFP/Getty Images 
Photo grabbed here

1. Blind Acceptance To Traditions and Cultures


Ladies all around the world have been abiding to rules and regulations set up by their societies which are often dominated by male. They were blindly taught to accept the norms of the society without being able to question the rational behind the do’s and dont’s. This is true for womenfolk who lived in the 19th century as they are completely estranged from proper education that would give them the sense of empowerment to fight against injustice. 

But to think that it has taken so long for them come forward and fight against little things in their daily lives that signals gender discrimination is indeed saddening. Ladies have access to education and in fact we have had world class female leaders all around the world even during the era where photographs were still in black and white. What took them to break open the ignorance and speak for the betterment of their own kind? This is one of the issues needed to be tackled in order to foster changes into their lives.

Question things that don’t seem logical. Never accept something just because that is the way things were in the past. Think for yourselves if the society is doing good for you and question the justice when you feel being discriminated for being a lady.


2. Degrading Their Own Kind

Have you seen ladies who blames another woman for her mistake that she may not even have committed? Have you heard of them accusing each other, tarnishing images to the extreme level in front of men? This seems to have been one of the most contagious habit among ladies that is very discouraging and suicidal. Why? Because this attitude creates a big loophole for the other gender to use the weakness and control women better. There is no sense of togetherness among womenfolk and this is why they are prone to fights and arguments more often than men. 

Why discourage one another and be foes for the rest of your lives? Wake up, open your eyes wide, look at the opportunity that lies ahead of you to make a strong network among your own kind. Stop degrading another lady. That is equivalent to degrading yourself! 

3. Accepting ”Men are Men” Mentality

Men are men, they are born to be aggressive, they could do whatever they want and women have to uphold modesty and respect men all the time. Men are men, they will take advantage of women and it is completely natural thus the responsibility lies solely on women to protect themselves. 

I’m pretty sure you have heard of these famous lines uttered by people from the past generation. I don’t think the blame goes completely on the other sex as ladies knew this is not suppose to happen to them and it is completely unfair but they have remained accepting things as they are. How many of you actually have trashed your male friend for their sexist remarks or stood up against discriminative gestures signalled by men at your work place? 

Insecurities place a big role in being the major hindrance to women’s coward nature as they are again told that they would be in trouble questioning such issues in public or raising their voice to demand for justifications. As of today, only a small portion of women are actually going against these atrocities and that is definitely not enough to combat gender inequality at our place. 

My post on The Male Chauvinist is the display picture for one of the gigs I offer on Fiverr and were discriminated by someone in the forum suggesting that I’m a terrible hardcore feminist. I did laid my rebuttals for his baseless attacks. All I got in return was more support and an additional new order. I think it’s about time women stop being the reason for their own downfall.

Democracy Is Dying!!

Too frustrated to post this up now on the ”clean” Malaysian election. Wait for the updates!

Sorry. DEMOCRACY IS DEAD. Period.
Malaysians,
We are all mourning the death of democracy at our country. We are frustrated and deeply irritated with the fact that there were fraudulent during our election. Despite all these anger and outrages, what we have learned from GE 13 are:

1) We are UNITED
For some reason now, we are all united, we are against the ruling government not because of racial intolerance. We have stood together, Malay, Chinese and Indian, to VOICE our opinion out. That is the real victory.

2)  We are GETTING there
We have come this far against the cronies. We have shown improvement for the a CHANGE. We broke the majority votes the ruling government had. Despite the Bangla illegal voters and frauds, we still did made a change!

3) Voice out for YOURSELVES
The government is not going to help you if you don’t help yourself. This election has waken up more citizens. 85% of people came out to cast their vote. This means the level of awareness has been drastically increased. YOU as an individual should make the CHANGE

4) Say NO to racism
We have learned to say no to racism! We have learned that we shouldn’t give in to the racial sparks. This is the real victory.

What we can should do more:

1) Check your voting STATUS
Many were fooled during last minute as they realised they were not listed among the voters list. My friend is one of them. He has voted before so he has not checked as his name should be registered, logically. So don’t give in to these act of fraudulent. Check your names against 6 months earlier at least.

2) Get everyone register as VOTERS
I’m not sure how much effect does this post of mine going to impose, some of you may remember, some of you not. The best thing to do for yourself and family is to get all your family members who are 21 and above to register as voters and vote

3) Don’t quit VOTING
My father and grandparents who were voters for so many years did not complain much or said they are not going to vote. So all the first time voters and young voters, continue voting. You will make the MAGIC one day!

4) Support the PROTEST
Support the NGO’s who are protesting against the EC for fair election and cleaner Malaysia as a whole. Show your support by educating people around you on what they are supposed to know.

5) Don’t be a FOOL
If you are someone who are afraid of voting against the government, this message goes to you. No one would catch you and put you behind the bars for exercising your rights. Stop being the world class fool!

6) Be EC Election Agents
For those who could do this, you ought to be the EC watching agents on the day of poll! I guess that would increase transparency. Have more people of all races join in for this.

Last but not least, life has to go on. This is our country. You can’t run away and live in other place when you can’t fight for your rights here, the place where you were born. I applaud the act of the public chasing the phantom voters away! That was mind-blowing!

Love you Malaysia!

Push The Limits Further !

              Staying encouraged and determined pursuing something we have always been passionate about lifts our spirit high up. Nevertheless, as soon as you get hit down by hardship, the thoughts of giving up slowly poisons the mind. How do we push the limits beyond to make it happen?
Be back with extended posts after my first job interview tomorrow!! Keeping fingers crossed!!
             Back to blog! Interview went super well! Keeping fingers crossed for the results of it. Having a positive mind and thoughts are very vital in getting positive feedbacks from life. What you give life is what you get in return. Push the limits beyond and make things happen! 

Crave For What You Want

               When life gives you hundreds of  hints your effort is failing, give life a thousands of reasons why it should happen. Determination and willpower are one of the essential formula of success in making dreams reality. We should tell ourselves that we should push the hardship behind and look at the opportunity that lies ahead. Look at the blessings in life and how fortunate we are as compared to those who are struggling for basic needs of life. Make use of all you have in life, crave for what you want, think of it, concentrate on it and make it happen! Seize the moment, it’s the road to success. 

Make The Pain Worth It

              Whatever the circumstances are, be it good or bad, you should always remember : Let the past go but don’t forget the lessons. You may have gone through real hell and came out of it, torn apart. Now, when things seems to get a little brighter, always remember, it took a great deal of hardship to learn something life ought to teach you. LEARN it now and never repeat the history. Tell yourself that you should keep succeeding and keep moving forward to leave behind the dark past, far away. Double the dose of happiness in life to eradicate the pain you experienced. In that way, you win over the hardship and eventually get stronger than ever in life! 

Nothing Is Enough

            There’s no limit for success and achievements. You should not surrender for something that you don’t deserve. Go all the way while you still can and make your dreams happen. NEVER feel satisfied with what you have and where you are in life. Don’t give in to that feelings of having enough in life. That will eventually inhibit your ability and imagination. Always take one bad event as a lesson for a lifetime and steer the wheel of life towards positivity, go, go and go!!

Self-Help: The Best You Can Do For Yourself

         Very often, during our tough times, we seek the help of those who are close to us. Families, friends and life partners are one of those whom we always turn to for comfort. Of course, there is nothing like having a long talk with special ones in our lives to help us heal from within. Sometimes, sharing the dark side of our lives with the right person turns out to be a blessing as they will magically lift your life and set you back on track. Parents are the best person with such credibility to do this aid for ourselves as they could bring the best out of us even when we feel like the world has shattered. 
http://img2.etsystatic.com/000/0/5124462/il_fullxfull.204765378.jpg
Please Help Yourself
Image grabbed here

         What is the drawback of seeking help from others to heal us? When someone lend us their ears to our problems, we would often feel like sharing our emotions and thoughts with them. That person is someone that seems precious more than anything as they act as an immediate remedy to our sickly soul. Sooner than later, we seek happiness within them and we entrust them to make us feel complete. This would lead to dependency and eventually ends up in disappointment. Why? Because people don’t live up to our expectation all the time. Like everything else, people change! So, the best medicine for your sorrow is self-help. Why so? 

1. Help Yourself Discover Your Strength 

             You will feel irritated and disappointed with people around you who pull themselves back from your issues and letting you deal with your odds on your own. First thing first, you should understand that nobody is ever obliged to help you overcome your problems. Help is something offered out of their own will and you can’t expect everyone to be generously pumping in effort into our problems. Help yourself to do this as you will learn to keep yourself calm in the process, discovering what your strength is and ways to overcome such situations on you OWN. Many of us who have confronted difficulties in life discover our lesson at that point. Pain heals and teaches us something about ourselves like hidden talents. So, help yourself to identify what you are best at. That will give you peace of mind and happiness. 

2. Help Yourself To Be Independent 

             There can never be something as valuable as the ability to stand on your own foot. This is essential in today’s world as this attributes to transform oneself into a stronger person. When you are finally able to depend on nothing but YOURSELF, you will learn the best of yourself and using it as a weapon to combat negativity that pulls you down. Eventually, you will find yourself being more confident and independent in almost every other stuff you do on a daily basis. You no longer need that someone to make you feel better all the time, nannying you when you feel sinking. 

3. Help Yourself To Combat Negativity 

            The need to rely on something to drift us away from one dark side of our past will lead to another dependency. Most often, this something will be unhealthy activities that lure us into a mess like alcohol or drug addiction. Some of us would go to the extent of projecting the frustration on people around us thus creating friction in relationships. There is no way of you finding yourself going towards a better life if you keep dwelling in negativity. That’s the key to understand the whole issue. You can’t only strengthen yourself by discovering and empowering the positive elements, by telling yourself that even this will pass and by BELIEVING life will be better. So, you should constantly remind yourself that you should think the good way for your life to change. 
              Of course, pain is the bitter pill to rediscover yourself. But, that’s temporary. Once you have started materialising the plans to see yourself out of trouble, you will love the outcome and you will start loving positivity as an essential element in life! Self-help is the best. There is no other way out! 

Road To Forgiving

        Many of us would have gotten hurt. People would have wronged us in the past and it would have dramatically changed or affected our lives in some way we would never have ever imagined. It hurts us so badly we sometimes choose to hurt them back, plot evil revenge or harbour resentment or grudge against them. Somehow life goes on with each passing day and despite many things that life has to offer, we are entangled in the past, unwillingly choosing to dwell on the not-so-nice events in our lives and continue to hurt people who have made us feel miserable. We all know that trying to hurt someone constantly through our mind doesn’t do any good and in fact it makes us feel so negative about our lives. So we learn to let go.    
              
       Trying to let go of our past is actually one step closer to what we call the act of forgiving. With or without our realisation, we tend to discard the grudge we had on the people in our past when we decide to let go something. But that is not something very easy. Today, we see the good side of us, happily letting go of the past and some other day sooner or later when some event that is related to our bitter past hurts our emotions, we quickly shift back to the state of hurting them in our thoughts. Sometimes, this can be really torturous as we are travelling back and forth in the effort to move in. 
      So, forgiving is the way to be happy and project our lives ahead into positivity and the real challenge lies in materialising it. How is that ever possible?

1) Make The Best Lesson Out Of Hurtful Events 

        You can’t forgive someone so easily for what they have done to us. This is pretty common and it’s normal to feel so. At the same time, you can’t dwell on what has happened and refusing to see the goodness in life. One way someone would let the past go completely is when they have really moved on in life and achieved so much that when they look back to the road they have travelled, the events that have hurt them so badly do not touch their emotions any more. 
        Take this as a chance to really work hard to do what brings happiness into your life. Discover what are your life’s desires and what you are good at. Make effort to turn your dreams into reality. Go as far as you can and embrace all the good things life has to offer. Never settle for something that is not satisfying your quest to dream and achieve. By doing this, you will give yourself a chance to say that you have turned a disastrous incident into a stepping-stone in your life and you will let go of your past and the people behind it. 

2) Discover Activities That Helps Combat Negativity

          In the midst of feeling so good about how your life is changing and being excited about it, sometimes you do fall back into the negative thoughts. If you don’t do anything to combat these thoughts, it will eventually drag you in it for the rest of the day. So, as soon as you discover that something is pulling you back from feeling good about a brand new day, pause your work a while and quickly get yourself to do something that helps you combat negativity. It can be anything like hitting gymnasium or reading self-empowerment book or meditating. Discover what helps you the most in times like this which will be the best remedy to get you back on track. 

3)  Leave It On Karma

          There will always be a constant need to revenge people who has wronged us. There is something called  karma, or nature’s way of serving people with what they deserve. We often neglect this fact and continue to take the responsibility of ensuring them getting punished for their deeds. One best relieve we can get is by having faith that karma will do it’s work. Trust in God and tell yourself you don’t have to burden yourself with resentment as nature has it’s way to deal with every good and bad people do to you, and vice versa. If you are lucky enough God will let you watch it! 
Let the past be the best teacher and plan the future with life’s lessons. Good night everybody! Wake up to a better morning!