|virginity & value of women|
|Mother and Daughter|
I have a book named Things I Want My Daughters To Know. I bought this some years back and I think this book expressed the emotional bonding of a mother with her daughters so well. It is one of the books I read that still stays so fresh on my mind and I think the novelist has implied the message a mother would want to let her daughters know before her death. In this story, the mother dies due to cancer and the daughters would discover letters written by the mother after her death that would guide them through their important moments of their life.
|Things I Want My Daughters To Know|
Inspired by this book, I wanted to come up with the things I would want my daughters to know, if I have any in the future. I thought it would be good to think about this now to mold the future of my children soon.
1. I Want My Daughters To Know That Seeking People’s Approval Hurts
I want them to value themselves for who they are and no longer be the women in the older generation where they used to care for people’s approval about their behaviours and being ‘obedient’ women pleasing men and putting up with their shit.
2. I Want My Daughters To Know That It Is Not A Crime To Have Their Own Opinion
I want my daughters to know that they should always have a firm opinion on any issues and never fear the societies’ and religions’ brutal limitation and control over what women should and shouldn’t do. I want them to know that standing firm by their belief is more important than anything else.
3. I Want My Daughters To Know That They Shouldn’t Allow People To Have Control Over Them
I want them to fly free like a bird, doing what they feel they could do, and pursuing their desire that could complete their seek for a sense of achievements in life. I would never want them to see as someone who is being taken granted for as a wife, forsaking their own goals in life.
4. I Want My Daughters To Know That They Are Women With Class
I want them to define their own life and be a woman with class. I want them to carve success in a unique way and be a leader, not a follower and most importantly be different from everyone else. I want them to be wise and not innocent, taking guard of themselves and analysing stuffs from their own perspective.
|Bikini or Burka?What really defines Modesty?
Image grabbed here
I have just watched a video from YouTube, a speech by Jessica Rey, an actress and a designer who has sparked a debate between the conservative and modernised world about swimwear. Jesicca says that the bikini has dis-empowered women where they allow themselves to be objectified by men. Is itsy-bitsy really that bad? Here it is the video of Jessica with her speech
Now, before we really look into the issue, think of all the aspects that needed to be analysed.
The society has this terrible idea ingrained on it’s mind for a very long time. Back in the stone age, when people don’t know what clothes are, they don’t find it awkward to be naked. As time passes and when the world entered into the evolution era, clothes were invented to cover themselves from the harsh environment. Together with that reason, people started to cover themselves as they viewed human body as a sacred asset. Here, at this point, comes in modesty. And this is completely fine. People covering themselves because they feel the urge to uphold their dignity.
But to cover yourself because you’re afraid that men see you as an object? This is where the problem starts from.
Like Jessica has said, the invention of bikini was with the intention to objectify women. The definition of women’s skin has become SEXY. Who on earth really came up with this word? People have started to view women in a different manner and when they show some skin, it is called sexy. Women have been exploited as objects in various fields from modelling to advertisement ever since then. Have you ever felt that it is a huge discrimination when men who employ models for their business calling another common women on street sluts just because they wear low cut blouses? I say the length of the dress is not going to make a difference in addressing the real issue we have.
A lady who fully covers but treats her daughter-in-law like her slave versus a lady who wears a low-cut dress but does charity work during the weekend? Who is the woman with the bad behaviour? I’m not saying that reverting back to the old swimwear is a bad idea, but the intention in doing that causes more damage to the society as we seem to be seeking approval from people, mainly the gentlemen who may not be so ‘gentle and nice’.
Change In Mentality Is What We Need Now
I feel the amount of skin you show shouldn’t be used to judge a woman and the common notion of showing skin means sexy or bitchy has to be eradicated all together. When you cover just because you don’t want a man to look down upon you, you are merely seeking an approval and dancing to his tune. Force that ignorance and arrogance out of them and let them know a woman is a woman and nothing else grants them the right to objectify her, whether or not they reveal skin.
What modesty really is? I personally don’t reveal too much skin,because I don’t think I would carry myself well and this is a personal opinion. Another lady or may be even you reading this, if you are a lady, would feel comfortable walking down the street with a skirt above knee length that looks fine and not obscene. Everyone has different a personality to carry and if we were to judge someone based on their appearance alone, I believe we are in the wrong track all together. A well-mannered woman can only be identified through the way she behaves with another human being.
If showing skin is wrong, then every woman in the modelling industry has to resign to be labelled a ‘good’ lady. Even prostitutes would be slammed hard on this issue if it is wrong to show skin. Do we even grant women to make a choice? To me, it is very wrong for a woman to allow her body to be objectified and for a man to take advantage of any woman no matter how she dresses up. While I feel it is wrong to allow people to objectify us, ladies who are in the fashion line would feel that it is their profession and they would stand up for their choice. At the end of the day, it is about giving woman the power to choose what they want and taking decisions based on their choice.
Hello readers, I have started work on my first book, a non-fiction research collection on women’s lives around the globe. I would like to thank +Sheikh Javed Ali Sindhi here for his generosity in guiding me with extensive issues related to honour killing in Pakistan and I am truly thankful for the encouragement I get from all the other Google + readers and writers!
In regards to the project I’m working on and as an extension to 3 Things That Accelerates Sexual Assault post, I think there were a few notable reasons why women were reason for their own downfall, knowingly and unknowingly, which
|Egyptian women in Tahrir Square take part in the anti-government protests last month that led to the downfall of Hosni Mubarak. Photograph: Pedro Ugarte/AFP/Getty Images
Photo grabbed here
1. Blind Acceptance To Traditions and Cultures
Ladies all around the world have been abiding to rules and regulations set up by their societies which are often dominated by male. They were blindly taught to accept the norms of the society without being able to question the rational behind the do’s and dont’s. This is true for womenfolk who lived in the 19th century as they are completely estranged from proper education that would give them the sense of empowerment to fight against injustice.
But to think that it has taken so long for them come forward and fight against little things in their daily lives that signals gender discrimination is indeed saddening. Ladies have access to education and in fact we have had world class female leaders all around the world even during the era where photographs were still in black and white. What took them to break open the ignorance and speak for the betterment of their own kind? This is one of the issues needed to be tackled in order to foster changes into their lives.
Question things that don’t seem logical. Never accept something just because that is the way things were in the past. Think for yourselves if the society is doing good for you and question the justice when you feel being discriminated for being a lady.
2. Degrading Their Own Kind
Have you seen ladies who blames another woman for her mistake that she may not even have committed? Have you heard of them accusing each other, tarnishing images to the extreme level in front of men? This seems to have been one of the most contagious habit among ladies that is very discouraging and suicidal. Why? Because this attitude creates a big loophole for the other gender to use the weakness and control women better. There is no sense of togetherness among womenfolk and this is why they are prone to fights and arguments more often than men.
Why discourage one another and be foes for the rest of your lives? Wake up, open your eyes wide, look at the opportunity that lies ahead of you to make a strong network among your own kind. Stop degrading another lady. That is equivalent to degrading yourself!
3. Accepting ”Men are Men” Mentality
Men are men, they are born to be aggressive, they could do whatever they want and women have to uphold modesty and respect men all the time. Men are men, they will take advantage of women and it is completely natural thus the responsibility lies solely on women to protect themselves.
I’m pretty sure you have heard of these famous lines uttered by people from the past generation. I don’t think the blame goes completely on the other sex as ladies knew this is not suppose to happen to them and it is completely unfair but they have remained accepting things as they are. How many of you actually have trashed your male friend for their sexist remarks or stood up against discriminative gestures signalled by men at your work place?
Insecurities place a big role in being the major hindrance to women’s coward nature as they are again told that they would be in trouble questioning such issues in public or raising their voice to demand for justifications. As of today, only a small portion of women are actually going against these atrocities and that is definitely not enough to combat gender inequality at our place.
My post on The Male Chauvinist is the display picture for one of the gigs I offer on Fiverr and were discriminated by someone in the forum suggesting that I’m a terrible hardcore feminist. I did laid my rebuttals for his baseless attacks. All I got in return was more support and an additional new order. I think it’s about time women stop being the reason for their own downfall.
So after some time ranting on election fraudulent, I’m back to discuss this up as it has been on my draft lists for so long. 3 things that accelerates sexual assaults!
# 1 Ownership On Woman
When man and woman get married, the woman is often viewed as a possession. How many of you acknowledge woman who is forced to have sex with her husband as rape? That too is infringement on women’s right and as society views woman as someone belonged to her husband, the man takes charge of everything and forces sex upon his wife outside her will. Woman on the other hand thinks that she is meant to satisfy her partner and gives in to her forceful husband.
# 2 Endowing Men The Authority
Society has long endowed men with the authority that allows them to take women for granted. This inevitably allows men to treat women the way they want and blame women for their misery. This is why men think it is okay to blame women for rapes. That includes women’s behaviour and their dressing sense which are blamed for provoking sexual arousal on men.
# 3 Pornography
Why pornography? Because it has served as a platform to disseminate the above mentioned ideas. More often than not, women are objectified in pornography and they are being used merely as sex toys to please men on bed. Nothing more than that!
Look at the picture, look at the comment
Why wouldn’t I get furious? Why wouldn’t I feel like bashing someone up? I happened to see this beautiful picture with very deep meaning, that is not suggesting anything obscene, a picture which I thought worth sharing for its message but upon reading the comments I have decided to share this on my blog post to convey my own message!
* When I say Indian men, it refers to the race not the nationality.
- Ego Bigger Than Their Brains
2. Double Standards & Justice
Obedience and manners are something meant for women and it’s solely their responsibility to uphold modesty all the time. Men can be out with any friends of his choice at any time of the day. Men can ogle at any girl they want and even tell that to their spouses. Indian men can sleep around with any woman because they are men, they need experience screwing up a girl to show that they are men enough to their wives.