Virginity A Gift To Your Man?

virginity & value of women
I had this post on draft in my blog for a long time and I thought I had to write this out when I saw a post on Glipho (a new exciting blogging platform) that was discussing an issue closely related to this article.
Georgia has created turmoil lately when its women stood up for protest against ‘’virginity test’’ that was subjected to brides-to-be particularly by their mother-in-laws to ensure that their sons future wives are ‘’pure’’ and uphold their chastity. Apparently, there are as many as 200 ‘’virginity inspections’’ made each year according to Georgia’s National Forensics Bureau with each test costing about $50 to $60 and double this amount for faster results. This practise has caused uproar in the society especially among feminists who slam hard on the unethical and oppressive act. A week ago, Independent Group of Feminists organised a protest to stop the ‘’virginity institute’’ that ‘’measures’’ the value of women based on their chastity alone.
Meanwhile, as the society puts so much emphasis on the ridiculous belief that women who are not virgins at marriage are not decent women, there is a steady increase in the demand to ‘’restore’’ virginity among women who wants a second marriage and women who fail the test whereby surgeons temporarily stitch the hymens back together.
Now, getting back to my thoughts on this, I drafted this post because I was angered with the fact that women are oppressed emotionally with the common notion that the society held that blindly and stupidly believes that women’s ‘’chastity’’ is the greatest gift for their men. I found a blog where a man was discussing this and says that men treasure their wives more when they reserve their precious first experience for them. If men choose to respect their women, this freaking damn plain sheath won’t be an issue to be debated on in the first place. If men really appreciates women when they ‘’preserve’’ themselves for their men on the wedding night, why are we still seeing some of them wagging their ‘tails’ and going after another woman or ditching their wives with a few children? Is that damn hymen is something men own in women in the first place to be given away and is their concern on women as thin as the sheath?
Of course the first sexual encounter remains fresh on mind, just like the first kiss, the first phone you used, the first school you attended and everything else that came first in your life. But the first may not be the best. So men, why the fuss over the women’s chastity when you know their past won’t harm your happiness together?  
If men can be encouraged to have sex and explore sexual activities at a very young age, so can women. If the damn society thinks men need to have sex with other women who are not their respective wives just so that they save embarrassment during the wedding night, so can women. If men think they can shove their damn thing into any women just because they have sexual liberty, so can women. If men need to learn how to ‘handle’ their wives so must women or else don’t complain that your women are not good at bed!
I believe women would feel bad with the fact that someone has laid her hands on their men as much as men who feel the same over their wives. If something is wrong for women, it is equally wrong for men too.  

Things I Want My Daughters To Know

Mother and Daughter

I have a book named Things I Want My Daughters To Know. I bought this some years back and I think this book expressed the emotional bonding of a mother with her daughters so well. It is one of the books I read that still stays so fresh on my mind and I think the novelist has implied the message a mother would want to let her daughters know before her death. In this story, the mother dies due to cancer and the daughters would discover letters written by the mother after her death that would guide them through their important moments of their life.

Things I Want My Daughters To Know

Inspired by this book, I wanted to come up with the things I would want my daughters to know, if I have any in the future. I thought it would be good to think about this now to mold the future of my children soon.

1. I Want My Daughters To Know That Seeking People’s Approval Hurts

I want them to value themselves for who they are and no longer be the women in the older generation where they used to care for people’s approval about their behaviours and being ‘obedient’ women pleasing men and putting up with their shit.

2. I Want My Daughters To Know That It Is Not A Crime To Have Their Own Opinion

I want my daughters to know that they should always have a firm opinion on any issues and never fear the societies’ and religions’ brutal limitation and control over what women should and shouldn’t do. I want them to know that standing firm by their belief is more important than anything else.

3. I Want My Daughters To Know That They Shouldn’t Allow People To Have Control Over Them

I want them to fly free like a bird, doing what they feel they could do, and pursuing their desire that could complete their seek for a sense of  achievements in life. I would never want them to see as someone who is being taken granted for as a wife, forsaking their own goals in life.

4. I Want My Daughters To Know That They Are Women With Class

I want them to define their own life and be a woman with class. I want them to carve success in a unique way and be a leader, not a follower and most importantly be different from everyone else. I want them to be wise and not innocent, taking guard of themselves and analysing stuffs from their own perspective. 

Bikini and Modesty

Bikini or Burka?What really defines Modesty?
Image grabbed here

I have just watched a video from YouTube, a speech by Jessica Rey, an actress and a designer who has sparked a debate between the conservative and modernised world about swimwear. Jesicca says that the bikini has dis-empowered women where they allow themselves to be objectified by men. Is itsy-bitsy really that bad? Here it is the video of Jessica with her speech

Now, before we really look into the issue, think of all the aspects that needed to be analysed. 
  • Does showing your skin means being bitchy?
  • What modesty really is?
  • Where do women’s choice lies and to what extent it is acceptable?
The society has this terrible idea ingrained on it’s mind for a very long time. Back in the stone age, when people don’t know what clothes are, they don’t find it awkward to be naked. As time passes and when the world entered into the evolution era, clothes were invented to cover themselves from the harsh environment. Together with that reason, people started to cover themselves as they viewed human body as a sacred asset. Here, at this point, comes in modesty. And this is completely fine. People covering themselves because they feel the urge to uphold their dignity. 

But to cover yourself because you’re afraid that men see you as an object? This is where the problem starts from.

Like Jessica has said, the invention of bikini was with the intention to objectify women. The definition of women’s skin has become SEXY. Who on earth really came up with this word? People have started to view women in a different manner and when they show some skin, it is called sexy. Women have been exploited as objects in various fields from modelling to advertisement ever since then. Have you ever felt that it is a huge discrimination when men who employ models for their business calling another common women on street sluts just because they wear low cut blouses? I say the length of the dress is not going to make a difference in addressing the real issue we have. 
A lady who fully covers but treats her daughter-in-law like her slave versus a lady who wears a low-cut dress but does charity work during the weekend? Who is the woman with the bad behaviour? I’m not saying that reverting back to the old swimwear is a bad idea, but the intention in doing that causes more damage to the society as we seem to be seeking approval from people, mainly the gentlemen who may not be so ‘gentle and nice’. 

Change In Mentality Is What We Need Now
I feel the amount of skin you show shouldn’t be used to judge a woman and the common notion of showing skin means sexy or bitchy has to be eradicated all together. When you cover just because you don’t want a man to look down upon you, you are merely seeking an approval and dancing to his tune. Force that ignorance and arrogance out of them and let them know a woman is a woman and nothing else grants them the right to objectify her, whether or not they reveal skin. 

What modesty really is? I personally don’t reveal too much skin,because I don’t think I would carry myself well and this is a personal opinion. Another lady or may be even you reading this, if you are a lady, would feel comfortable walking down the street with a skirt above knee length that looks fine and not obscene. Everyone has different a personality to carry and if we were to judge someone based on their appearance alone, I believe we are in the wrong track all together. A well-mannered woman can only be identified through the way she behaves with another human being. 

If showing skin is wrong, then every woman in the modelling industry has to resign to be labelled a ‘good’ lady. Even prostitutes would be slammed hard on this issue if it is wrong to show skin. Do we even grant women to make a choice? To me, it is very wrong for a woman to allow her body to be objectified and for a man to take advantage of any woman no matter how she dresses up. While I feel it is wrong to allow people to objectify us, ladies who are in the fashion line would feel that it is their profession and they would  stand up for their choice. At the end of the day, it is about giving woman the power to choose what they want and taking decisions based on their choice.

Why Women Were Reason Behind Their Downfall?

Hello readers, I have started work on my first book, a non-fiction research collection on women’s lives around the globe. I would like to thank +Sheikh Javed Ali Sindhi here for his generosity in guiding me with extensive issues related to honour killing in Pakistan and I am truly thankful for the encouragement I get from all the other Google + readers and writers! 
In regards to the project I’m working on and as an extension to 3 Things That Accelerates Sexual Assault post, I think there were a few notable reasons why women were reason for their own downfall, knowingly and unknowingly, which could should be rectified in order to change the way they get treated by the society as a whole.

Egyptian women in Tahrir Square take part in the anti-government protests last month that led to the downfall of Hosni Mubarak. Photograph: Pedro Ugarte/AFP/Getty Images 
Photo grabbed here

1. Blind Acceptance To Traditions and Cultures


Ladies all around the world have been abiding to rules and regulations set up by their societies which are often dominated by male. They were blindly taught to accept the norms of the society without being able to question the rational behind the do’s and dont’s. This is true for womenfolk who lived in the 19th century as they are completely estranged from proper education that would give them the sense of empowerment to fight against injustice. 

But to think that it has taken so long for them come forward and fight against little things in their daily lives that signals gender discrimination is indeed saddening. Ladies have access to education and in fact we have had world class female leaders all around the world even during the era where photographs were still in black and white. What took them to break open the ignorance and speak for the betterment of their own kind? This is one of the issues needed to be tackled in order to foster changes into their lives.

Question things that don’t seem logical. Never accept something just because that is the way things were in the past. Think for yourselves if the society is doing good for you and question the justice when you feel being discriminated for being a lady.


2. Degrading Their Own Kind

Have you seen ladies who blames another woman for her mistake that she may not even have committed? Have you heard of them accusing each other, tarnishing images to the extreme level in front of men? This seems to have been one of the most contagious habit among ladies that is very discouraging and suicidal. Why? Because this attitude creates a big loophole for the other gender to use the weakness and control women better. There is no sense of togetherness among womenfolk and this is why they are prone to fights and arguments more often than men. 

Why discourage one another and be foes for the rest of your lives? Wake up, open your eyes wide, look at the opportunity that lies ahead of you to make a strong network among your own kind. Stop degrading another lady. That is equivalent to degrading yourself! 

3. Accepting ”Men are Men” Mentality

Men are men, they are born to be aggressive, they could do whatever they want and women have to uphold modesty and respect men all the time. Men are men, they will take advantage of women and it is completely natural thus the responsibility lies solely on women to protect themselves. 

I’m pretty sure you have heard of these famous lines uttered by people from the past generation. I don’t think the blame goes completely on the other sex as ladies knew this is not suppose to happen to them and it is completely unfair but they have remained accepting things as they are. How many of you actually have trashed your male friend for their sexist remarks or stood up against discriminative gestures signalled by men at your work place? 

Insecurities place a big role in being the major hindrance to women’s coward nature as they are again told that they would be in trouble questioning such issues in public or raising their voice to demand for justifications. As of today, only a small portion of women are actually going against these atrocities and that is definitely not enough to combat gender inequality at our place. 

My post on The Male Chauvinist is the display picture for one of the gigs I offer on Fiverr and were discriminated by someone in the forum suggesting that I’m a terrible hardcore feminist. I did laid my rebuttals for his baseless attacks. All I got in return was more support and an additional new order. I think it’s about time women stop being the reason for their own downfall.

3 Things That Accelerates Sexual Assaults

So after some time ranting on election fraudulent, I’m back to discuss this up as it has been on my draft lists for so long. 3 things that accelerates sexual assaults!

# 1 Ownership On Woman

When man and woman get married, the woman is often viewed as a possession. How many of you acknowledge woman who is forced to have sex with her husband as rape? That too is infringement on women’s right and as society views woman as someone belonged to her husband, the man takes charge of everything and forces sex upon his wife outside her will. Woman on the other hand thinks that she is meant to satisfy her partner and gives in to her forceful husband.

# 2 Endowing Men The Authority

Society has long endowed men with the authority that allows them to take women for granted. This inevitably allows men to treat women the way they want and blame women for their misery. This is why men think it is okay to blame women for rapes. That includes women’s behaviour and their dressing sense which are blamed for provoking sexual arousal on men.

# 3 Pornography

Why pornography? Because it has served as a platform to disseminate the above mentioned ideas. More often than not, women are objectified in pornography and they are being used merely as sex toys to please men on bed. Nothing more than that! 

Traits of An Ass – The Male Chauvinist

Look at the picture, look at the comment

Im dedicating this blog post for fellow blogger and friend +Arunesh Dwivedi for coming up with his own thoughts on the same picture and comments I’m discussing about. His blog post can be viewed here

Why wouldn’t I get furious? Why wouldn’t I feel like bashing someone up? I happened to see this beautiful picture with very deep meaning, that is not suggesting anything obscene, a picture which I thought worth sharing for its message but upon reading the comments I have decided to share this on my blog post to convey my own message!

That old man, yes, the one who brilliantly related this picture to male orgasm out of the blue! I went to check his profile out! What I saw was nothing but his blog posts which he shared on his page (which wasn’t entertained by anyone anyway). A blog dedicated to show the world how filthy his mind could be and how disrespectful he is towards women! 
Now, we all have access to adult jokes and we do come across them every now and then. But, relating a picture like this to sexuality is an act of an ass! There is a need to draw a limit to everything and this man has clearly swayed from the limit of addressing something to sexual jokes! The never ending rape cases and violence against women are a result of people with sick mentalities like this. Why?

1. Objectifying Women

    Men like that Mr. Malhotra take women merely as an object, purely to satisfy their uncontrollable sexual pleasure. Just like greed and jealousy, when one fails to control his/her emotions, identify and analyse what is taking control over him/her, he/she falls prey to the play of the mind and feelings! When someone gets engrossed in sexual issues, they fail to see a woman as a human being. Excessive sexuality would undeniably lead to unhealthy communication with people around you and that’s when women are objectified! Their eyes go beyond face while talking to women and all they do is to check out on women’s physical attributes. Ask them why, they say men are like that, they tend to be so! Plain trait of a male chauvinist! 
2. Man As The Superior Sex

    While glancing through his page, I found a post with its title suggesting young women marrying older men for money! This purely suggests that men like him having a cheap perception on women, that women can be bought and they are something that can be owned! Men like Malhotra can never respect another woman or treat her with equality. He can never do justice neither to his family nor his wife! They are always in a pathetic perception that men could treat ladies anyway they want and it’s the women’s responsibility to uphold their dignity and safeguard themselves! 
3. Ignoring Violence Against Women

    Today, I read on two articles relating to India. One man called a minister was saying that women get raped because they act in such suggestive manner. Another news is about a 14 year old boy raping a 6 year old girl in Dehli. I feel both these news are closely related to the issue I’m discussing now. When men like Malhotra become ministers, these are the news you could expect to hear on a daily basis. The family of the 5 year old kid who got raped was given some amount of money to close the case down by the police force. People like these are the root cause of the evil bedevilling the society and corrupting them to the extent that women seems to be the second sex forever in the eye of the world! 
To those who think its okay to harm a kid for your male orgasm, I suggest you to dig a hole and shove your thing inside! Let the innocent child alone unharmed!

Why Indian Men Don’t Deserve Their Women?

              Why Indian men? Some of you may ask. Because I have dated Indian men before so it’s not justified to generalise it to all men, whom I don’t know of. But, I know this criticism applies to men of other races too and if you are a non-Indian man reading this and you feel this post should be dedicated to you too, then this is for you too!

* When I say Indian men, it refers to the race not the nationality. 

                 

  1. Ego Bigger Than Their Brains

          You may be more educated than him. Or have better sense than him. But, when he says the sun rises in the West and sets in the East, you should agree with him. Because he is a man and he is freaking right all the time. 
           Breaking an (any) Indian man’s ego is like cracking a tough nut! Try telling one he is wrong at any point of his senseless talk, his ego gets upset and soon you can see his effort to intimidate you with his ugly hoarse voice! 

           
                   

      2.   Double Standards & Justice

            Obedience and manners are something meant for women and it’s solely their responsibility to uphold modesty all the time. Men can be out with any friends of his choice at any time of the day. Men can ogle at any girl they want and even tell that to their spouses. Indian men can sleep around with any woman because they are men, they need experience screwing up a girl to show that they are men enough to their wives.

           Let his woman do that, instantly, she is labelled a slut and whore! Woman are not supposed to talk about other men as this would instigate jealousy in them. Worse still, a widow is not supposed to remarry to support her children but a widower somehow finds a girl in replacement for marriage (and that too young, unmarried girl!!)
    3.    Wife, A Source of Income
           Gone are those days where man used to be the sole breadwinner of the family, the one who works hard to support the family financially! Shame on Indian men they are nothing more than leeches, draining their spouses energy and income to run a family. Dowry is one dirty culture of Indians that still prevails till date. Man marries a woman just for the amount of wedding gift they get in return. The lesser they get, the more the beatings and swearings the girl has to face from the man’s family. 
            On top of that, educated and working girls top any man’s preference as these girls could bring continuous source of income to the family. It could also be an excuse where they could rot at home all day long not moving their lazy asses to work! 

    4.   They Need Smart But Stupid Wife

          Indian men need wives who are intelligent and independent. A woman who is respected and someone who can impress a man’s group of friends. She has to be smart in handling a family and professional job. She has to be beautiful like a Greek-goddess even if he looks like a duck! But she has to be stupid enough to put up with his extreme stupidity, fund his unnecessary expenses and good-for-nothing habits, agree to whatever decision he makes as the MAN of the house and face the consequences that follow! 

   5.   A Maid Unpaid

        For most Indian families, when a girl gets married to a man, it’s like getting married to his entire family. She is obliged to the decisions and critics the mother-in-law makes! She has to please not only him but the entire family! She has to do all the chores and housekeeping. All these for FREE! 
       Try complying to all these rules and regulations, you will still be labelled as a woman hard to handle 🙂
                         

          

Abortion

          I’m back to speak my mind up on this issue as promised! If you think I’m going to talk on why women should be allowed to make decision on abortion, you are WRONG! I’m going to paint a picture for you to see what happens when unwanted pregnancies are continued, how bizzare can it be for mankind and possible changes we all can do to restore civilisation back into the society. 
         For most of the couples out there who have gone through abortion, it could be one of the most painful and indelible experience ever. Having loved someone, getting intimate and having a life coming as a result of union of two lives are supposed to be events meant for celebration not hidden from everybody’s knowledge. The thought of terminating the life is somewhat traumatic for people who could feel the pain of it. It’s a death call to the unborn. 
        The current scenario among my generation is pretty ugly and totally unethical. We can’t deny that nothing much has been done to arrest the involvement of men and women, boys and girls from free-sex and sex out of wedlock. This is the PROBLEM we are facing! Neither could we find a solution to the problem nor accept abortion. Sex education introduced is to educate the younger generation on how to prevent having unsafe sex and getting sexually transmitted diseases (STD). It serves as a proof that we can’t stop men and women being socially active and having sexual relationship. Hence, sexual education is hoped to stop the worse which are STD’s and unwanted pregnancies from occurring. Sometime before, Malaysia came up with the idea of Baby Hatch to rescue babies who are thrown away by their parents. All these efforts by government indirectly tell us that stopping sex out of wedlock is something not very feasible. 
            Why abortion rate is high? 
1) Youths seek sexual relationship as a part of sexual pleasure. There is no love as a bonding in their relationship. They are just purely having sex, not making love.
2) Sexual education may be a general guideline. There are A LOT of other things involved when you have sex. There is something called coitus-induced ovulation which would make a woman ovulate faster than predicted ovulation time. Our body reacts differently and our hormones responses at a different rate. It’s all very subjective and each time you have sex you increase the possibility of pregnancy. 
3) Women are more empowered and they just don’t want to be solely taking responsibilities of the child like those days. They too would want to have easy way out like men, which I find sadly fair! 
          So we don’t support abortion but we don’t have the solutions either! Let me tell you what happens when unwanted pregnancies are not terminated. Before that, let me explain to you my stance on this issue. 
* I am not speaking in favour of men and women who sleeps around all the time and finds their partners or herself pregnant again and again. Abortion is definitely not the solution for them, they should be made sterile! 
* When I speak about seeing unwanted pregnancies, I see the FUTURE of the children and I’m speaking bearing this in mind.
1) A country with more quantity more no quality! Imagine if we were to blindly say that we don’t want women aborting child in a heavily dense country. We would produce more people like Ram and friends who have taken the dignity and life of a young girl. To demonstrate loudly or make objection towards their senile act would NOT make much differences. Why? Because they are uneducated people from the slums where the quality of life is so poor. This is also why we saw continuous rape cases like the Punjab rape case after the New Dehli in India.
2) More broken families are formed. We need both parents together to nurture a child and shape his/her mind. Such family institution serves as a proof of love for their children. We don’t want to see a child with two biological parents, some step-mothers and a few step-fathers! A child deserves the rights to have all the basic needs to fulfilled and the ability to live life in an ideal environment, not just the rights to be born. We often forget that when we are so engrossed opposing abortion, we don’t look into the future of the child! At what gestation period can a foetus be called a human or is entitled to human-rights? The failure of family institution is more prevalent in cases like Steubenvile.
           So, some of you at this point may say that adoption could be the solution to this problem. Very much agreed. But, there is something to ponder upon. While we are rescuing the unborn child, there are already millions of parentless children all around the globe, LIVING life! And what have we done for them or have we ever thought of their welfare. So, you say don’t abort but when the child is born, that’s the end, everyone forgets about the future of the kid. Abortion, sadly could mean we are trying to stop creating more problems for ourselves and save the children on earth instead. 
Now, I believe some of you feel helpless thinking about the direction of we humans are marching towards. We don’t have the solution to the problem and we can’t accept abortion. I believe we can make a difference but it will take at least another generation to see the effect. 
1) Each one of us should and must work towards forming a perfect or somewhat conducive environment for our children to live. We should educate our children on values, the emotional involvement of women and men in a sexual relationship and being responsible for it. 
2) Practice gender equality when you are raising your children. Stop exhibiting practices or acts that give them the idea of one gender being superior than the other one. This would encourage them to have mutual respect for each other. 
I believe as a mother and father of your own children, you can shape them to become a better generation. Nobody can do this. Don’t expect the government or school teachers. You have to make the changes. For that to happen, you should change! 
Having said all that I wanted to say, I hereby rest my case!

Rape: A Global Crime ?

                                                                 An Evergreen Topic!

           This post has been delayed a little bit. But, it’s never late to post this now. Why? Cause I believe when I’m up late at this hour to write on something that has been awfully bothering me, someone out there somewhere is being a victim of animals for their insane sexual drive! That’s pretty creepy isn’t it? 
              
              I was thinking that rape has been a part of the crimes in the East the most, places where women are still considered inferior to men. Steubenville has proven it wrong! That makes the situation even everywhere! Perhaps, are women really the weaker sex? May be yes, cause so many things has advanced but women are still complaining about gender discrimination and sexual abuse which don’t seem to get any better over the years! Women’s organisation, Women’s Day and so much more for women but nothing is helping much! 
             I feel rape will only stop when certain things really change and those changes are being enforced! It’s not just about campaigns! Three things to make lives of women less scary!

1) Heavy Penalty on Rapist

     Those who rape and subject women to sexual harassment, should be heavily charged! I think labelling them as rapist is not something inhumane. In fact, that’s what they deserve. When people identifies him as a rapist, that will be a life-long reminder to him for committing a sin that can never be forgiven. Why bother pitying the men when he has in fact did a lot of damage to the girl’s life physically and emotionally. Isn’t that very much intense compared to what he has to go through? People should seriously stop acting lame and stop seeking so-called justice in this issue. It is never justified to be only considering the future of the man while neglecting the condition of the victim. 

2) Change The Way of Upbringing Boys

       Stop telling your children that men is superior to women, men is the head of family, women who wears a bikini top is a slut and so on! You may not tell them directly, but what you tell your friends and how you react towards things will indirectly send them a message of what you think. Teach them about consent when it comes to sex. Sexual education alone is not sufficient. Explain to them about the importance of respecting women and their body, relationship, love and the emotional aspect of sex has towards men and women. Make your boys know the worth of love and love-making!

3) Make Your Girls Sensible and Independent 

      Steubenville’s incident involves boys who are soccer players, whom are seen as charming heroes and macho men! Change this perception in your girls’ mind. Let them know that someone who plays guitar and soccer can’t be a super-hero and there is nothing to be charmed about it. Educate them to be more mature in  identifying the manly-traits in the person they like! Tell them not to settle for someone whom they don’t deserve to be. Let them know it’s essential to wait for the right one and having no boyfriend isn’t a crime and she doesn’t have to feel left out! Being with the wrong one is worse than being alone. Teach them to keep themselves expensive!     
     I would definitely let my kids know about these! How about you?

Sexual Drive and Intercourse: A Male Authority?

         Changazi told Mortenson how he squared his dalliances with his devotion to Islam. Heading to his mosque soon after another Inge or Aiko wandered into his sights, Changazi petitioned his mullah for permission to make a muthaa, or temporary marriage. The custom was still common in parts of Shiite Pakistan, for married men who might face intervals without the comfort of their wives, fighting in distant wars, or travelling on an extended trip. But Changazi had been granted a handful of muthaa already since the climbing season began in May. Better to sanctify the union, however short lived, in Allah’s sight, Changazi cheerfully explained to Mortenson, than simply to have sex. 
        
           Mortenson asked if Balti women whose husbands were away could also be granted muthaa.
         “No, of course not,” Changazi said, waggling his head at the naivete of Mortenson’s question, before offering him a biscotti to dunk in his tea. 
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
         He told Mortenson how much he missed his wife, Rhokia. It had been nine years since he lost her in gaining their only child, Jahan. ” She was very beautiful,” he said,as they lay looking the Milky Way that was so dense it covered them like a shawl. “Her face was small like Jahan’s, and she was always popping up laughing and singing, like a marmot.” 
          “Will you marry again?” Mortenson asked. 
         ” Oh, for me this is very easy,” Twaha explained. One day I will be nurmadhar and already I have a lot of land. So far I don’t love any other woman.” He lowered his voice slyly. “But sometimes…I enjoy.”
         ” Can you do that without marrying?” Mortenson said. It was something I’d been curious since coming to Korphe, but had never felt confident enough to ask.
         ” Yes, of course, ” Twaha said. “With widows. We have many widows in Korphe.”
Excerpt from ”Three Cups of Tea” by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin
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          Sexual Drive and Intercourse: A Male Authority? Upon reading this book and hearing from a friend encountering similar situation have triggered this question on my mind! I have a friend who came to me saying that she was denied the rights to expect for affection from her partner as she should not be expecting for affection and it is something that’s given out of his will, whenever he feels like doing it. 
          I’m not sure if this is a global mentality that has seeped into mankind long time ago or if it’s just a social stigma pertaining some societies still, like people in the Middle East and conservative Indians all over the place. I can’t say that men from the West are different as I can’t judge what I don’t know. What has baffled me badly is the total injustice imposed on women on the rights to exhibit sexual desires, even from their partners. Living in a society which has believed that woman should uphold modesty and decency has made things worst. Such way of thinking has indirectly given men the way out from all wrong-doings. It has somehow granted them to do what women has been prohibited from doing. Take the ever-undiminishing rape issues in India as the perfect example. Men has continued to violate women as they are wallowed by chauvinism and think they could get away easily from the crime, blaming the women for being out at the wrong time and dressing indecently. 
         Any unfortunate events that happen to women are solely their responsibility. What’s more painful is some of them are even accused of enjoying the rape and not trying to fight the rape back. On the other hand, society has failed to realise that women, just like men, have sexual drives, as part of nature’s way of ensuring continuity of mankind, a necessity in life. Ladies being subjected to blames of being bitchy and labelling them as women of low-morale are just another sad case that has eventually succumbed to pure injustice and violation of women-rights. What privilege do men have to get away from the same sins that women commit? 
         Romance is something both women and men have rights on and it is not a ‘male-feeling’. A good relationship between man and wife is based on mutual understanding and fulfilment of each other’s needs. That includes sexual desires too.