Maya Angelou and The Hidden Past

Posted on October 11, 2014 by Jasveena R Prabhagaran

The world was saddened by the demise of Maya Angelou a few months ago. She was a great leader, a brilliant teacher and above all, a wonderful soul who had so many stories and life\’s lessons to share with us. Admit it. We actually learn about people more when they are gone. Their good and bad deeds would turn into topics to discuss for the next few days.

Maya Angelou was no exception. She passed away at the age of 86, leaving behind her glorious life as a legacy. The media did a commendable job in highlighting her achievements but what amazes me is the fact that the media glorified the \’good stuff\’ of her life, the \’past\’ that we would be proud to talk about, the stories that would earn her more \’respect\’ and the talents she had that left the entire world amazed.

What about the past that made her into who she was until the day she died? What about the \’least glorified\’ stories of her life? The untold mistakes that made her stronger and wiser?

I\’m not very sure how many of you had actually read Maya\’s books. I came to know that she was one of the most successful non-fiction writers after her death. (Shame on me on not knowing this earlier! I know. I will be buying those books soon! *excited* ) Maya Angelou had a very challenging life. She was raped, she was a prostitute, she smoked pot and took drugs. Throughout her life, she was a strong advocate for the underprivileged people. She stood against racism, sexism and other ugly forms of discrimination. In an interview with her, she had explained what it actually feels to be doing something that may be wrong in the society\’s point of view.

I agree that she had lived life to the fullest and nobody would have preferred talking about her as a prostitute in the wake of her death but ignoring her past as a sex worker, a night club dancer and a madam for lesbian prostitutes simplifies her legacy. This issue was debated by Aya De Leon on Huffington Post. Maya never felt intimidated by her past. She chose to embrace her past, forgive herself and learn from the mistakes. There are lessons she learned from the journey of her life. Her past defined her life and herself.

Her past itself also advocates for prostitutes, lesbians, gays and feminists. Unfortunately, the media did not discuss her struggles as much as they embraced and celebrated her achievements and this is actually an issue that we should address. When someone is walking out of their \’not-so-nice\’ past, turning over a new leaf and looking forward to living a meaningful life, why do we choose to encourage them to erase their history?

Failure leads to success and success is celebrated but nobody values failure. We are living in a society that is highly judgemental. We are expected to find the route to success without failing because people don\’t accept mistakes. As soon as we know someone has erred in their life, we quickly judge them, label them, degrade them and undermine their quality of life.

One of Maya Angelou\’s autobiographies, \”Gather Together In My Name” revealed her life as a sex worker.

“I sat thinking about the spent day. The faces, bodies and smells of the tricks made an unending paisley pattern in my mind. Except for the Tamiroffish first customer, the others had no individual characteristics. The strong Lysol washing water stung my eyes and a film of vapor coated my adenoids. I had expected the loud screams of total orgasmic release and felt terribly inadequate when the men had finished with grunts and yanked up their pants without thanks.”

I must say that we hesitate to accept women\’s past as compared to men. This double standard has been around in our society for a long time. As a result, women erase the black marks in their lives and avoid being discriminated.

Do you celebrate your past without prejudice and let people know who you are for real or do you think it is necessary to safeguard your darkest secret in order to allow the society to let you live life peacefully?

I welcome your thoughts and views ! Thank you for your feedback

Apparently Brazil Got Raped Last Night !

Posted on July 9, 2014 by Jasveena R Prabhagaran

I wish I could blog as many times I want in a day! That happens if only I could kick all other work aside. I come across at least one news in the headlines of a local newspaper or on my Social Media news feed that would certainly piss me off and makes me wonder if the battle against sexism ever works.

So, last night\’s (depending on where you are) match saw Brazil as the host of the FIFA World Cup 2014 ending their journey in the world\’s most prestigious football match. Yes, it was a bad loss. They were defeated by Germany by a score of 7-1. It\’s was a joyful moment for the entire fan club of Germany and they took this victory as an opportunity to humiliate Brazil widely on social media.

Just google out this hashtag #brazilraped and you will find out how many idiotic fans are actually celebrating the defeated opponent by coining the term \’raped\’ to humiliate them. Are rape victims supposed to be humiliated? Is rape even a reason for celebration?

I urge you to check out the posts about the match happened less than 12 hours ago on your social media stream to see if you have any sexist friends. I spot a couple of them and I also had a Facebook page moderator criticizing this act of complete stupidity.

You would be surprised to know that people actually welcome this lame joke and think that it is okay to post such thing online when in reality we are actually supporting the idea of shaming victims of sexual violence.

I welcome your thoughts and views ! 😀 Thank you for your feedback

Your Shame Won\’t Alleviate Mine

Posted on August 22, 2013 by Jasveena R Prabhagaran

What\’s the point of covering your shame?

http://youtube.googleapis.com/v/j5Zvwje3c50&source=uds

Thanking +Adrianna Joleigh for letting me know about this documentary on YouTube. As we know, India has been in the spotlight since December last year for rising rape cases throughout the nation. Women in India have come together to protest the sexual discrimination and endless violence they have to face on a daily basis. Ever since the Dehli Gang Rape case incident, more rape cases are discovered day by day and it doesn\’t seem to get any better.

India\’s image has been tarnished with world-wide accusations. Men in India are horny bastards. India is not a safe country for women. These are some of the statements that you can see in the comments for the video above. It is definitely a shameful issue for a country and its citizen. I\’m feeling really sorry for the victims and I hope for a better future for women in India.

But the question is, how do you REALLY feel when you watch the video or while reading this post? Are you feeling disgusted about India? Did your subconscious voice just told you that these Indian men are horrible? If you are from a safer place where you have been protected from these violence all your life, do you really think you are safe? Can you assure that your children\’s safety is protected?

Indian men don\’t deserve their women. I said that in one of my older posts. But I have also mentioned that the same rule applies for all men regardless of their race or nationality. The huge misconception in our society when we come across any hideous news happening elsewhere in the world is to assume that we are in a safer part of the world and instantly feel thankful for it.

I wanted to make a snapshot of some of the comments under the video but when I came back a day later, it was flooded by hundreds of comments and I lost track of the earlier comments. From my observation, some Indians were admitting to the fact that the situation is getting worse in India for women when authorities are not taking proper measures to arrest the rising sexual violence and rape cases whereas some are trying to protect their shame by diverting the attention to countries like Saudi Arabia and Africa where women are treated like slaves with restrictions imposed in the name of religion.

Will their shame alleviate your shame, India? No. Are we still going to see more women being raped and subjected to brutality? Yes! Because if we are not going to admit that our men are terrible and the situation is getting out of hand, people would continue to protect the name of the nation and shame of the society by pin-pointing to what is happening all around the globe. I agree that countries like America, Australia and Canada are not safe either and you can\’t claim these countries to be safe as the suicide case of Rehtaeh Parsons serves as an evidence that no where on this earth is really safe.

The only way to handle this brutality is by acknowledging the issue and start implementing better rules and regulations on sexual violators so that we can see hope for women renewing itself with no expiration date. On the other hand, it is time to reflect this issue upon our own country and see where do we actually stand when it comes to crimes like sexual harassment and rapes. Just because the media caught one country for its shameful incident, we can\’t be taking it for granted and throwing wild accusations. May be our shame is being swept under the carpet and could be the next talk of the world when someone were to reveal it.

I welcome your thoughts and views ! Thank you for your feedback

3 Things That Accelerates Sexual Assaults

Posted on May 7, 2013 by Jasveena R Prabhagaran

So after some time ranting on election fraudulent, I’m back to discuss this up as it has been on my draft lists for so long. 3 things that accelerates sexual assaults!

# 1 Ownership On Woman

When man and woman get married, the woman is often viewed as a possession. How many of you acknowledge woman who is forced to have sex with her husband as rape? That too is infringement on women’s right and as society views woman as someone belonged to her husband, the man takes charge of everything and forces sex upon his wife outside her will. Woman on the other hand thinks that she is meant to satisfy her partner and gives in to her forceful husband.

# 2 Endowing Men The Authority

Society has long endowed men with the authority that allows them to take women for granted. This inevitably allows men to treat women the way they want and blame women for their misery. This is why men think it is okay to blame women for rapes. That includes women’s behaviour and their dressing sense which are blamed for provoking sexual arousal on men.

# 3 Pornography

Why pornography? Because it has served as a platform to disseminate the above mentioned ideas. More often than not, women are objectified in pornography and they are being used merely as sex toys to please men on bed. Nothing more than that!

Traits of An Ass – The Male Chauvinist

Posted on April 25, 2013 by Jasveena R Prabhagaran

Look at the picture, look at the comment

Im dedicating this blog post for fellow blogger and friend +Arunesh Dwivedi for coming up with his own thoughts on the same picture and comments I’m discussing about. His blog post can be viewed here

Why wouldn’t I get furious? Why wouldn’t I feel like bashing someone up? I happened to see this beautiful picture with very deep meaning, that is not suggesting anything obscene, a picture which I thought worth sharing for its message but upon reading the comments I have decided to share this on my blog post to convey my own message!

That old man, yes, the one who brilliantly related this picture to male orgasm out of the blue! I went to check his profile out! What I saw was nothing but his blog posts which he shared on his page (which wasn’t entertained by anyone anyway). A blog dedicated to show the world how filthy his mind could be and how disrespectful he is towards women!

Now, we all have access to adult jokes and we do come across them every now and then. But, relating a picture like this to sexuality is an act of an ass! There is a need to draw a limit to everything and this man has clearly swayed from the limit of addressing something to sexual jokes! The never ending rape cases and violence against women are a result of people with sick mentalities like this. Why?

1. Objectifying Women

Men like that Mr. Malhotra take women merely as an object, purely to satisfy their uncontrollable sexual pleasure. Just like greed and jealousy, when one fails to control his/her emotions, identify and analyse what is taking control over him/her, he/she falls prey to the play of the mind and feelings! When someone gets engrossed in sexual issues, they fail to see a woman as a human being. Excessive sexuality would undeniably lead to unhealthy communication with people around you and that’s when women are objectified! Their eyes go beyond face while talking to women and all they do is to check out on women’s physical attributes. Ask them why, they say men are like that, they tend to be so! Plain trait of a male chauvinist!

2. Man As The Superior Sex

While glancing through his page, I found a post with its title suggesting young women marrying older men for money! This purely suggests that men like him having a cheap perception on women, that women can be bought and they are something that can be owned! Men like Malhotra can never respect another woman or treat her with equality. He can never do justice neither to his family nor his wife! They are always in a pathetic perception that men could treat ladies anyway they want and it’s the women’s responsibility to uphold their dignity and safeguard themselves!

3. Ignoring Violence Against Women

Today, I read on two articles relating to India. One man called a minister was saying that women get raped because they act in such suggestive manner. Another news is about a 14 year old boy raping a 6 year old girl in Dehli. I feel both these news are closely related to the issue I’m discussing now. When men like Malhotra become ministers, these are the news you could expect to hear on a daily basis. The family of the 5 year old kid who got raped was given some amount of money to close the case down by the police force. People like these are the root cause of the evil bedevilling the society and corrupting them to the extent that women seems to be the second sex forever in the eye of the world!

To those who think its okay to harm a kid for your male orgasm, I suggest you to dig a hole and shove your thing inside! Let the innocent child alone unharmed!

Rape: A Global Crime ?

Posted on March 21, 2013 by Jasveena R Prabhagaran

An Evergreen Topic!

This post has been delayed a little bit. But, it’s never late to post this now. Why? Cause I believe when I’m up late at this hour to write on something that has been awfully bothering me, someone out there somewhere is being a victim of animals for their insane sexual drive! That’s pretty creepy isn’t it?

I was thinking that rape has been a part of the crimes in the East the most, places where women are still considered inferior to men. Steubenville has proven it wrong! That makes the situation even everywhere! Perhaps, are women really the weaker sex? May be yes, cause so many things has advanced but women are still complaining about gender discrimination and sexual abuse which don’t seem to get any better over the years! Women’s organisation, Women’s Day and so much more for women but nothing is helping much!

I feel rape will only stop when certain things really change and those changes are being enforced! It’s not just about campaigns! Three things to make lives of women less scary!

1) Heavy Penalty on Rapist

Those who rape and subject women to sexual harassment, should be heavily charged! I think labelling them as rapist is not something inhumane. In fact, that’s what they deserve. When people identifies him as a rapist, that will be a life-long reminder to him for committing a sin that can never be forgiven. Why bother pitying the men when he has in fact did a lot of damage to the girl’s life physically and emotionally. Isn’t that very much intense compared to what he has to go through? People should seriously stop acting lame and stop seeking so-called justice in this issue. It is never justified to be only considering the future of the man while neglecting the condition of the victim.

2) Change The Way of Upbringing Boys

Stop telling your children that men is superior to women, men is the head of family, women who wears a bikini top is a slut and so on! You may not tell them directly, but what you tell your friends and how you react towards things will indirectly send them a message of what you think. Teach them about consent when it comes to sex. Sexual education alone is not sufficient. Explain to them about the importance of respecting women and their body, relationship, love and the emotional aspect of sex has towards men and women. Make your boys know the worth of love and love-making!

3) Make Your Girls Sensible and Independent

Steubenville’s incident involves boys who are soccer players, whom are seen as charming heroes and macho men! Change this perception in your girls’ mind. Let them know that someone who plays guitar and soccer can’t be a super-hero and there is nothing to be charmed about it. Educate them to be more mature in identifying the manly-traits in the person they like! Tell them not to settle for someone whom they don’t deserve to be. Let them know it’s essential to wait for the right one and having no boyfriend isn’t a crime and she doesn’t have to feel left out! Being with the wrong one is worse than being alone. Teach them to keep themselves expensive!

I would definitely let my kids know about these! How about you?