Guilty As Charged!

Sooooo Sorry!!!

I know I took a looooong break and I think it has been about two weeks since I wrote anything new here on my blog BUT I have a lot to post and  will never forget what I need to write as I\’m having a checklist for my blog!

So where have I been and what was I doing? I was busy with my graduation celebration last week and it was one of the most momentous events in my life! We had to travel far and get things ready for graduation and travelling back to where I live has been very time consuming and tiring! Nevertheless, it was fun and enjoyable!

I have promised +BV Bharati that I will be writing a post soon about why writing and exposing truths can be deadly and I haven\’t forgotten my promise yet. In fact, it is one of the posts I am having on my checklist. Now that I am back, I will get that done soon.

On the other hand, guess what I found? I saw a story that was covered in the front page of the local newspaper! It is about child marriage in Malaysia and I was completely shocked with the appalling number of child marriages happening in Malaysia. I never knew this issue could be so bad here and I will cover this issues under Child Marriage chapter of my book.

You will be so surprised to know what is happening across the world when you start researching facts and I think I love what I am doing for my book!

I\’ll be back real soon with consistent posts!

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Unilever\’s AXE Is Axing Itself Hard!

That\’s Not Cool

I can\’t help it but to story you this agonizing act from Unilever\’s AXE. But before that, let me tell you what made me \’like\’ AXE Malaysia\’s page first and foremost. Well, AXE Malaysia had a contest to search for the next Malaysian astronaut and a Malaysian Indian lady was among the top 5 selected to contest for the final round. When I got to know about this, I was so excited and I told my mom and we were showing our support to the girl by voting for her every hour. The contest is now over and the official winner will be announced coming 24th. I spread the news to some of my friends on Facebook and guess what, not many actually replied or showed support. This is pretty much why I feel like not having Facebook because people are there just to stalk you and gossip behind your back but acts like they never knew you when you approach them on FB. Okay, let\’s just stop ranting about social media, which is not very social actually.

AXE is a brand by Unilever for men\’s hair care and body products. My question is, what are those women doing on AXE\’s advertisement when it is a product meant men. Of course they have one or two products for women too, but when it comes to men body spray, are we supposed to see men in the advertisement, aren\’t we? AXE has been using women, or I will say, exploiting women to promote their product and this has caused an uproar among the AXE Malaysia\’s Facebook page because we anticipating updates about the competition and all we get is their sexist,cheap promotional methods on Facebook page. I was one of the first ones to spark a debate about this on their page (hahaha :P). I saw many comments following that trashing AXE Malaysia. If you need to know what I\’m talking about exactly, you need to go their page via this link and see for yourself.

Is That Picture Necessary?

By having videos and pictures like that, it simply sends a message that men has no brains and nothing much to attract women, so use good fragrances like this to get ladies. It doesn\’t matter how bad you smell from within, all you have to make sure is to smell good with AXE.
It also sends a message that indicates women are cheap and can be attracted with good fragrances. Watch this video.

Reaction From Potential Customers

What they expect out of their \’sexy\’ advert – Men and women going crazy about their products and keep giving them business. What is actually happening – They are losing more and more customers and probably because of people like me who is contributing to their loss, it will be even worse because due to the competition, many people all around the world are watching this page closely and their promotional method is suicidal now. People would be attracted to products and companies that have value and do good. Of course, in the business world, nothing is transparent but avoiding efforts to objectify women will save them in the long run.

Now, on the other hand, I think women who model for this product knowing that they are being objectified, are just plain dumb and have no social responsibilities at all. What are those employees for Unilever doing? Well, it is so sad to think we have to forgo social responsibilities at work because we are there just to earn money for living and not to argue for our values that we uphold.

I\’m not saying women should be covered all the time or should not be given the choice to dress up. Bikini and modesty has very little correlation because we won\’t be able to change a man\’s mind to respect women just by changing our clothes. No, it is not that simple. Bikini is just a swimwear. You wear nightgown when you at bed and you do not roam around the city with that because that would be inappropriate. One should know his or her limits and behave accordingly. You will just know if what you are wearing is appropriate or not. What has to be changed is not bikinis but misusing them for advertisement purpose in a way that causes harm for women. Of course, for lingerie advertisements it will be fine.

Last but not least, if I ever have a boyfriend using AXE, I would be \’welcoming\’ him home with an axe. With that being said, ladies, you know what to do now 😉

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Black Or White?What\’s Your Stance, America and India?

Is She Too Dark To Become Miss America?

It has been a week now since I last blogged. Today has been a fantastic day so far. I made it to the third round of interview after being interviewed by the director of GreenEnergy Worldwide for Malaysia. It feels good because I think it gives me a chance to be in an industry providing green energy solutions and eventually breaking the dependency on fossil fuel. I have also received a surprise e-mail today so it has been a great day so far and I\’m thankful for that.
So getting back to the post today, I\’m sure many of you are well-informed about the winner of Miss America 2013. Nina Davuluri was crowned as Miss America and she is the first Miss America from Indian descent. She is also the Miss New York 2013. America being one of the world\’s largest melting pot where people of different races and cultures embrace America as their home today took the world by surprise when some people made racist remarks on Twitter following her victory. What really amuses me is the fact that people have been calling her a Muslim and linking her with Al-Qaeda. Some people made themselves clowns by saying that she should have been chosen as Miss Africa. I think they must have missed their Geography lessons back in school, poor kids! 
This social backlash reminded me about the popular TV show, Celebrity Big Brother where we had a participant, the late Jade Goody with two others bullying the well-known actress in India, Shilpa Shetty for being an Indian. I think, generally when you cross your own border, you are a refugee and you just don\’t belong to where you are fully because people do not welcome \’\’foreigners\’\’ wholeheartedly. 
Is it a crime being born with a dark complexion? What it really takes for a woman to become Miss America? Being blonde and white? I don\’t understand how people could choose Obama as their president and still be prejudicial. I am not referring to those who voted for Obama and choose to side Nina. I\’m sure at least one out of those people who attacked Nina WOULD HAVE voted for Obama but when it comes an American Indian winning the pageant, they can\’t take it. I\’m keen to know the probability of those people voting for a man different in race and heritage as their president. I think people react differently when it comes people who are successful and people who are about to unleash their talent. Before you actually achieve something solid and widely accepted, people would judge you based on colour, background and etc and discourage you every way they could. I don\’t understand how they could welcome Indians to come and work for Bill Gates but still deny their rights to contest in a beauty pageant. Those who made the ugly comments certainly forgot the fact that their place of birth is a colourful land with people from different roots contributing to its success today. In most countries today, majority of the citizens are not the native people. My ancestors were from India and they were brought to Malaysia during the British occupation. Our real native people are the Orang Asli which literally means \”the native people\” and America is no exception too.  
As an approved contributor for Global Voices, (I haven\’t contributed anything YET, and I have posts up there as drafts because I thought it will be good to observe what others post and how to protect myself if someone from my \’\’awesome\’\’ government were to read my posts and accuse me of being a \’\’threat\’\’ to the national harmony and security. Malaysia is getting funnier day by day so it is good to know how to save my ass before doing something) I observed a post from an Indian citizen and I thought she has pointed out great issues and Tweets from other netizens. 
I think Americans are way better because we will not see Nina Davuluri being crowned in the pageant if the organizers or judges were racists. It is just a part of the society that has a problem seeing an American-Indian winning the competition, may be because their favourite contestants lose the game! I think the issue is less severe in America than it is in India.
While reading the post from Global Voices, I realised that if Nina\’s parents chose to stay in India and raise their kids in India, Nina\’s chances of being crowned would have been a dream still. You can see the comments in the snapshot below and I feel it is true because we Indians(referring to the race) do not embrace our own people as we worship fair-skinned ladies and men more. 
Global Voices
At least, Nina prides herself in becoming Miss New York and Miss America but what do we see in the Indian film industry today? Actress Nandita Das is a dark-skinned, beautiful young lady and I have always admired her so much. Her message for this year\’s Women\’s Day is \”Stay UNfair, Stay Beautiful\”. She and her career has been affected due to her dark complexion and she campaigns for the movement called Dark Is Beautiful. You can read about her further at her blog (and let me know if you think she is beautiful ;))

We all have our own issues to deal with and raising awareness is not just about me blogging about this and you reading but also about correcting the way people think and behave around you and making a change. Do your part in educating the society. By writing this, I will never be able to reach out to those who made insulting comments about Nina but if we continue to pass the message around, hopefully we can see gradual changes. 
Good night world!

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Your Shame Won\’t Alleviate Mine

What\’s the point of covering your shame?
Thanking +Adrianna Joleigh for letting me know about this documentary on YouTube. As we know, India has been in the spotlight since December last year for rising rape cases throughout the nation. Women in India have come together to protest the sexual discrimination and endless violence they have to face on a daily basis. Ever since the Dehli Gang Rape case incident, more rape cases are discovered day by day and it doesn\’t seem to get any better.
India\’s image has been tarnished with world-wide accusations. Men in India are horny bastards. India is not a safe country for women. These are some of the statements that you can see in the comments for the video above. It is definitely a shameful issue for a country and its citizen. I\’m feeling really sorry for the victims and I hope for a better future for women in India. 
But the question is, how do you REALLY feel when you watch the video or while reading this post? Are you feeling disgusted about India? Did your subconscious voice just told you that these Indian men are horrible? If you are from a safer place where you have been protected from these violence all your life, do you really think you are safe? Can you assure that your children\’s safety is protected? 
Indian men don\’t deserve their women. I said that in one of my older posts. But I have also mentioned that the same rule applies for all men regardless of their race or nationality. The huge misconception in our society when we come across any hideous news happening elsewhere in the world is to assume that we are in a safer part of the world and instantly feel thankful for it. 
I wanted to make a snapshot of some of the comments under the video but when I came back a day later, it was flooded by hundreds of comments and I lost track of the earlier comments. From my observation, some Indians were admitting to the fact that the situation is getting worse in India for women when authorities are not taking proper measures to arrest the rising sexual violence and rape cases whereas some are trying to protect their shame by diverting the attention to countries like Saudi Arabia and Africa where women are treated like slaves with restrictions imposed in the name of religion. 
Will their shame alleviate your shame, India? No. Are we still going to see more women being raped and subjected to brutality? Yes! Because if we are not going to admit that our men are terrible and the situation is getting out of hand, people would continue to protect the name of the nation and shame of the society by pin-pointing to what is happening all around the globe. I agree that countries like America, Australia and Canada are not safe either and you can\’t claim these countries to be safe as the suicide case of Rehtaeh Parsons serves as an evidence that no where on this earth is really safe. 
The only way to handle this brutality is by acknowledging the issue and start implementing better rules and regulations on sexual violators so that we can see hope for women renewing itself with no expiration date. On the other hand, it is time to reflect this issue upon our own country and see where do we actually stand when it comes to crimes like sexual harassment and rapes. Just because the media caught one country for its shameful incident, we can\’t be taking it for granted and throwing wild accusations. May be our shame is being swept under the carpet and could be the next talk of the world when someone were to reveal it. 
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Make Love Not Porn

A new movement called Make Love Not Porn
I’m not sure how many of you are actually aware of this movement called Make Love Not Porn by Cindy Gallop. I just got to know about this movement sometime back while reading a blogpost. I thought there was a great idea lying behind it as Cindy speaks about how detrimental pornography is for the youngsters nowadays. The possible reasons why Cindy would have decided to work on this idea are:
1) You Can’t Stop Them From Doing It
Nothing is really working when it comes to efforts taken to stop teenagers from having sex. Sex education has educated them to protect themselves from STD’s but what about having them refraining from having sex. I don’t think so it has worked really well. You will have your kids start questioning about sex sooner or later. Kids are getting very advanced in understanding the world and sex is definitely not an exceptional issue. You can’t fool them any longer with an answer or sweeping statements that sound like these; ”sex refers to your gender” or “when man and woman have sex they have babies”.
MLNP
2) Pornography Is Destroying Relationships
It is disturbing to think that pornography has long been ruling over people’s sexual life. Men think women will react the way they see on porn and expect their partners to behave the same way. Hardcore porn never reflect the real life sex as people show different inclination towards sexual activities. With this movement, hopefully the younger generation would know what love really is and how porn and love-making are entirely different. I feel the human contact is amiss in porn and I don’t think that should be the reference for young adults.
MLNP
3) Resources Are Everywhere
You can never stop your child from learning about sex. If you are not explaining about it, they will go looking for the information on the websites and you can be very sure that they will stumble upon porn on the internet. So that is how easy they can get mislead. Why not start a movement like this to have the right education where people learn what sex really is and know that it is about emotions, feelings, relationship and love. I think Cindy is able to send this message across to a certain extent and this movement has to go viral to be the talk of everybody so that we could save families in future.
MLNP
4) Explaining What Love Really Is
I think the main reason why she has started her work on “Make Love Not Porn” videos is because porn is not in favour of love. This movement made us all think where are we heading towards with so much domestic violence that is shattering homes. Porn has made men and women hard and emotionless. On top of that, Make Love Not Porn also stops women from being seen as an object to satisfy men, exposing the truth on how women really feel in the reality.

Virginity A Gift To Your Man?

virginity & value of women
I had this post on draft in my blog for a long time and I thought I had to write this out when I saw a post on Glipho (a new exciting blogging platform) that was discussing an issue closely related to this article.
Georgia has created turmoil lately when its women stood up for protest against ‘’virginity test’’ that was subjected to brides-to-be particularly by their mother-in-laws to ensure that their sons future wives are ‘’pure’’ and uphold their chastity. Apparently, there are as many as 200 ‘’virginity inspections’’ made each year according to Georgia’s National Forensics Bureau with each test costing about $50 to $60 and double this amount for faster results. This practise has caused uproar in the society especially among feminists who slam hard on the unethical and oppressive act. A week ago, Independent Group of Feminists organised a protest to stop the ‘’virginity institute’’ that ‘’measures’’ the value of women based on their chastity alone.
Meanwhile, as the society puts so much emphasis on the ridiculous belief that women who are not virgins at marriage are not decent women, there is a steady increase in the demand to ‘’restore’’ virginity among women who wants a second marriage and women who fail the test whereby surgeons temporarily stitch the hymens back together.
Now, getting back to my thoughts on this, I drafted this post because I was angered with the fact that women are oppressed emotionally with the common notion that the society held that blindly and stupidly believes that women’s ‘’chastity’’ is the greatest gift for their men. I found a blog where a man was discussing this and says that men treasure their wives more when they reserve their precious first experience for them. If men choose to respect their women, this freaking damn plain sheath won’t be an issue to be debated on in the first place. If men really appreciates women when they ‘’preserve’’ themselves for their men on the wedding night, why are we still seeing some of them wagging their ‘tails’ and going after another woman or ditching their wives with a few children? Is that damn hymen is something men own in women in the first place to be given away and is their concern on women as thin as the sheath?
Of course the first sexual encounter remains fresh on mind, just like the first kiss, the first phone you used, the first school you attended and everything else that came first in your life. But the first may not be the best. So men, why the fuss over the women’s chastity when you know their past won’t harm your happiness together?  
If men can be encouraged to have sex and explore sexual activities at a very young age, so can women. If the damn society thinks men need to have sex with other women who are not their respective wives just so that they save embarrassment during the wedding night, so can women. If men think they can shove their damn thing into any women just because they have sexual liberty, so can women. If men need to learn how to ‘handle’ their wives so must women or else don’t complain that your women are not good at bed!
I believe women would feel bad with the fact that someone has laid her hands on their men as much as men who feel the same over their wives. If something is wrong for women, it is equally wrong for men too.  

Things I Want My Daughters To Know

Mother and Daughter

I have a book named Things I Want My Daughters To Know. I bought this some years back and I think this book expressed the emotional bonding of a mother with her daughters so well. It is one of the books I read that still stays so fresh on my mind and I think the novelist has implied the message a mother would want to let her daughters know before her death. In this story, the mother dies due to cancer and the daughters would discover letters written by the mother after her death that would guide them through their important moments of their life.

Things I Want My Daughters To Know

Inspired by this book, I wanted to come up with the things I would want my daughters to know, if I have any in the future. I thought it would be good to think about this now to mold the future of my children soon.

1. I Want My Daughters To Know That Seeking People’s Approval Hurts

I want them to value themselves for who they are and no longer be the women in the older generation where they used to care for people’s approval about their behaviours and being ‘obedient’ women pleasing men and putting up with their shit.

2. I Want My Daughters To Know That It Is Not A Crime To Have Their Own Opinion

I want my daughters to know that they should always have a firm opinion on any issues and never fear the societies’ and religions’ brutal limitation and control over what women should and shouldn’t do. I want them to know that standing firm by their belief is more important than anything else.

3. I Want My Daughters To Know That They Shouldn’t Allow People To Have Control Over Them

I want them to fly free like a bird, doing what they feel they could do, and pursuing their desire that could complete their seek for a sense of  achievements in life. I would never want them to see as someone who is being taken granted for as a wife, forsaking their own goals in life.

4. I Want My Daughters To Know That They Are Women With Class

I want them to define their own life and be a woman with class. I want them to carve success in a unique way and be a leader, not a follower and most importantly be different from everyone else. I want them to be wise and not innocent, taking guard of themselves and analysing stuffs from their own perspective. 

Bikini and Modesty

Bikini or Burka?What really defines Modesty?
Image grabbed here

I have just watched a video from YouTube, a speech by Jessica Rey, an actress and a designer who has sparked a debate between the conservative and modernised world about swimwear. Jesicca says that the bikini has dis-empowered women where they allow themselves to be objectified by men. Is itsy-bitsy really that bad? Here it is the video of Jessica with her speech

Now, before we really look into the issue, think of all the aspects that needed to be analysed. 
  • Does showing your skin means being bitchy?
  • What modesty really is?
  • Where do women’s choice lies and to what extent it is acceptable?
The society has this terrible idea ingrained on it’s mind for a very long time. Back in the stone age, when people don’t know what clothes are, they don’t find it awkward to be naked. As time passes and when the world entered into the evolution era, clothes were invented to cover themselves from the harsh environment. Together with that reason, people started to cover themselves as they viewed human body as a sacred asset. Here, at this point, comes in modesty. And this is completely fine. People covering themselves because they feel the urge to uphold their dignity. 

But to cover yourself because you’re afraid that men see you as an object? This is where the problem starts from.

Like Jessica has said, the invention of bikini was with the intention to objectify women. The definition of women’s skin has become SEXY. Who on earth really came up with this word? People have started to view women in a different manner and when they show some skin, it is called sexy. Women have been exploited as objects in various fields from modelling to advertisement ever since then. Have you ever felt that it is a huge discrimination when men who employ models for their business calling another common women on street sluts just because they wear low cut blouses? I say the length of the dress is not going to make a difference in addressing the real issue we have. 
A lady who fully covers but treats her daughter-in-law like her slave versus a lady who wears a low-cut dress but does charity work during the weekend? Who is the woman with the bad behaviour? I’m not saying that reverting back to the old swimwear is a bad idea, but the intention in doing that causes more damage to the society as we seem to be seeking approval from people, mainly the gentlemen who may not be so ‘gentle and nice’. 

Change In Mentality Is What We Need Now
I feel the amount of skin you show shouldn’t be used to judge a woman and the common notion of showing skin means sexy or bitchy has to be eradicated all together. When you cover just because you don’t want a man to look down upon you, you are merely seeking an approval and dancing to his tune. Force that ignorance and arrogance out of them and let them know a woman is a woman and nothing else grants them the right to objectify her, whether or not they reveal skin. 

What modesty really is? I personally don’t reveal too much skin,because I don’t think I would carry myself well and this is a personal opinion. Another lady or may be even you reading this, if you are a lady, would feel comfortable walking down the street with a skirt above knee length that looks fine and not obscene. Everyone has different a personality to carry and if we were to judge someone based on their appearance alone, I believe we are in the wrong track all together. A well-mannered woman can only be identified through the way she behaves with another human being. 

If showing skin is wrong, then every woman in the modelling industry has to resign to be labelled a ‘good’ lady. Even prostitutes would be slammed hard on this issue if it is wrong to show skin. Do we even grant women to make a choice? To me, it is very wrong for a woman to allow her body to be objectified and for a man to take advantage of any woman no matter how she dresses up. While I feel it is wrong to allow people to objectify us, ladies who are in the fashion line would feel that it is their profession and they would  stand up for their choice. At the end of the day, it is about giving woman the power to choose what they want and taking decisions based on their choice.

Why Women Were The Reason Behind Their Own Downfall?

If you want to know how exciting and awe-inspiring, yet at the same time bewildering and frightening different cultures can be subscribe to this blog via email to get notified every time a new post is published.
Hello readers, I have started work on my first book, a non-fiction research collection on women\’s lives around the globe. I would like to thank +Sheikh Javed Ali Sindhi here for his generosity in guiding me with extensive issues related to honour killing in Pakistan and I am truly thankful for the encouragement I get from all the other Google + readers and writers! 
In regards to the project, I\’m working on and as an extension to 3 Things That Accelerates Sexual Assault post, I think there were a few notable reasons why women were the reason for their own downfall, knowingly and unknowingly, which could should be rectified in order to change the way they get treated by the society as a whole.

Egyptian women in Tahrir Square take part in the anti-government protests last month that led to the downfall of Hosni Mubarak. Photograph: Pedro Ugarte/AFP/Getty Images 
Photo grabbed here

1. Blind Acceptance To Traditions and Cultures


Ladies all around the world have been abiding by rules and regulations set up by their societies which are often dominated by males. They were blindly taught to accept the norms of the society without being able to question the rationale behind the dos and donts. This is true for womenfolk who lived in the 19th century as they are completely estranged from proper education that would give them a sense of empowerment to fight against injustice. 

But to think that it has taken so long for them to come forward and fight against little things in their daily lives that signals gender discrimination is indeed saddening. Ladies have access to education and in fact, we have had world-class female leaders all around the world even during the era where photographs were still in black and white. What took them to break open the ignorance and speak for the betterment of their own kind? This is one of the issues needed to be tackled in order to foster changes in their lives.

Question things that don\’t seem logical. Never accept something just because that is the way things were in the past. Think for yourselves if the society is doing good for you and question the justice when you feel being discriminated for being a lady.


2. Degrading Their Own Kind

Have you seen ladies who blame another woman for her mistake that she may not even have committed? Have you heard of them accusing each other, tarnishing images to the extreme level in front of men? This seems to have been one of the most contagious habits among ladies that is very discouraging and suicidal. Why? Because this attitude creates a big loophole for the other gender to use the weakness and control women better. There is no sense of togetherness among womenfolk and this is why they are prone to fights and arguments more often than men. 

Why discourage one another and be foes for the rest of your lives? Wake up, open your eyes wide, look at the opportunity that lies ahead of you to make a strong network among your own kind. Stop degrading another lady. That is equivalent to degrading yourself! 

3. Accepting \’\’Men are Men\’\’ Mentality

Men are men, they are born to be aggressive, they could do whatever they want and women have to uphold modesty and respect men all the time. Men are men, they will take advantage of women and it is completely natural thus the responsibility lies solely on women to protect themselves. 

I\’m pretty sure you have heard of these famous lines uttered by people from the past generation. I don\’t think the blame goes completely on the other sex as ladies knew this is not supposed to happen to them and it is completely unfair but they have remained accepting things as they are. How many of you actually have trashed your male friend for their sexist remarks or stood up against discriminative gestures signalled by men at your workplace? 

Insecurities place a big role in being the major hindrance to women\’s coward nature as they are again told that they would be in trouble questioning such issues in public or raising their voice to demand justifications. As of today, only a small portion of women are actually going against these atrocities and that is definitely not enough to combat gender inequality at our place. 

My post on The Male Chauvinist is the display picture for one of the gigs I offer on Fiverr and were discriminated by someone in the forum suggesting that I\’m a terrible hardcore feminist. I did lay my rebuttals for his baseless attacks. All I got in return was more support and an additional new order. I think it\’s about time women stop being the reason for their own downfall.


What do you think about this post? I welcome your thoughts and views!
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