Are you an expatriate going through expat loneliness? Are you single and finding ways to cope with loneliness especially when being in a different country? Or are you considering migration and wondering what it is like to be an expat?
Here are five things that you do not know about expat loneliness and some of the ways you can overcome your problem effectively.
Actually, you do not even need to migrate to a different country to feel what it is like to have expat loneliness. You can be in a different city in your country and still feel the pinch of it just like me.
Hi, I’m Jasveena! Blogging since 2013, I share tips & stories about navigating relationships and finding meaningful connections. Read more about me.
My Experience
In the year 2015, I was on the verge of applying for the New Zealand working holiday visa. I actually applied for it but the competition for the visa was very stiff in Malaysia and if you secure a visa, you’d be considered lucky.
Then, after completing my MBA, I wanted to try applying to study abroad for a PhD program. However, at that time, I was also actively looking for a partner and my focus was to find a companion first.
As a 35 and single woman living alone out of my hometown, I knew what it feels like to be alone and I had to rethink my decision to move out of the country. Expat loneliness is real and I was thinking that while I haven’t found ways to cope with living alone here, I shouldn’t be in another country, trying to figure things out on my own.
I don’t know if that was a good decision or not, as I often feel that had I moved out of the country, I may have had the chance to meet different people and my life would have been different.
Affiliate Link Disclosure
Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links and I may earn a commission if you click on them, at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Hope you find the information here useful! Thanks.
Share this post around if you find it useful or interesting!
What Is Expat Loneliness?
Expat loneliness is a psychological state of mind whereby people who have moved out of their native country feel isolated because they do not have access to their family members and friends as they do back in their home country.
Some people experience the fear of the unknown whereas others experience discrimination or feel difficulty assimilating with the local community, making life harder.
Problems Being A Single Expat Nobody Think Of
While it is probably easy to somewhat understand what it feels like to be an expatriate, here are five things that you may not have thought about expat loneliness.
- You Don’t Have Anyone To Talk About Your Family Issues
If you are experiencing a family crisis and you are constantly in touch with your family back in your hometown, you probably do not have anybody to talk to about it in the country that you are residing in right now.
If you’re having a mental breakdown, you possibly can’t discuss this with anybody at your office because you possibly are not closing after anyone to discuss your family issues.
- You Can’t Name Anyone As Your Emergency Contact
As an expatriate, it is difficult for you to find social support that is strong enough to take over the role of your family members. This is the reason why a lot of people migrate to another country with their partners and family members.
If you are an expatriate, if someone asks you who your emergency contact is, chances are you would still name your family members back in your hometown as your emergency contact person because you do not trust anyone enough in the country that you are residing in.
- You Can’t Count On Your Friends To “Commit” To You
If you are single and you are an expatriate, you often find that you cannot count on your friends to commit to you to support you when you have a crisis.
You can hang around with your friends but you cannot expect your friends to be there when you are in need. Of course, friends in need are friends indeed, but your friends have different priorities and most possibly, their family members come first before you.
This explains why being single and an expatriate can be something really difficult.
- You Don’t Feel Safe
Expat loneliness happens also because you do not feel safe enough in the country that you are living in at the moment. When you do not have sufficient social support, or you are being sidelined because you are an expatriate (imagine not being able to access healthcare or to carry out certain activities because you are an expat), it can surely make you feel that you do not belong to the community.
- You Can’t Exactly Find That Special Someone
Although you are in a big city full of people, you can’t always connect well with people from different cultures and if you have different preferences – you won’t find a life partner by being in a random city full of people.
This is the reason why a lot of people struggle to find a partner in big cities like New York City. In a fast-paced city, it is difficult to meet people and this is partly because we all feel that there are so many people out there to choose from and we refuse to give importance to dating one person at a time.
A lot of people also doubt the information given by an expatriate because an expatriate could have a life that nobody knows back in his or her hometown and it takes a lot of energy for people from different cities to get to know and trust each other.
Tell me what you think about this post! Contact me via social media and share this post around if you find this helpful!
Help small bloggers run their website to provide you valuable content. Buy me a coffee !
5 Things That You Need To Do To Overcome Expat Loneliness
Join Support Group in Your City
My friend in Dubai who is into biking activities and Pilates has her support group, although she lost both her parents at a young age and is navigating life well as an expat for almost all of her working life.
Help Out at an NGO
Sometimes, the best way to get a sense of community is to help someone else going through hardships, and if you are finding it difficult to assimilate with the locals, this is something you can consider doing.
It makes you feel better and less lonely.
Seek Professional Help
Seek professional help not just from local mental health professionals, but also from resources that are especially made available for expats. Here are some of the sites that cater to the needs of expat:
- Expatica – https://www.expatica.com/
- International Citizens – https://www.internationalcitizens.com/expatriates/resources.php
- Transitions Abroad – https://www.transitionsabroad.com/listings/living/index.shtml#living_abroad_advisor
Move Back To Your Home Country
I know this may sound counter-productive, but if your mental health is not showing any signs of improvement, you may want to consider moving back to your home country for a while until you feel better and find ways to cope with living life as an expat better, like finding a life partner.
Bring Family Members To Live With You
If you are single and have parents back in your home country, you could ask them to live with you for a while every now and then so that you have a sense of belonging in a new place.
