Is situationship good? Can it even be good? I know that you should be thinking about what good can come out of a temporary connection that does not lead to anything substantial. With a lot of dating gurus saying that you should not be entertaining situationships and people who are not good for your soul, you may be wondering if there is anything good that can come out of connections with people regardless of whether it is going to be a lasting one or not.
Before we label all connections with people into the black-and-white category, we need to understand that human connection and relationships are very unique and that what you need differs from what others need in a relationship.
If there should only be genuine relationships or nothing at all in our lives, all of us should be married to the first person ever that we come across and fall in love with.
If you are going through a divorce, if you have just gotten out of a heartbreak, and if you need someone to talk to and just be there to help you get past the difficult phase, then a person just to be there for you he’s very crucial. At this point in time, you might be too tired to even think about getting serious with someone. All you need is just to have a carefree connection with somebody, and that is definitely not something wrong if you make it clear to the other person.
Now, let’s look at various occasions we meet temporary people in our lives who indeed leave an impact on the way we perceive a relationship.
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I’m Jasveena and I have been blogging since 2013, documenting my experience as well as helpful professional resources and tips I found online in seeking meaningful relationships and connections, and I am here to share them with you so that you are not alone in cruising through this journey called life that may seem like a lonely path.
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What’s a Situationship?
If you are wondering what a situationship is, it is a connection formed with someone that is similar to a relationship, but either one of you or both of you are not in a position to commit to each other for a lifetime.
Dating gurus will usually say that you are self-sabotaging yourself when you are entertaining someone who is not the best for your needs and wants in a relationship. Why give your time to somebody who is not willing to commit to you for a relationship?
In What Ways Is Situationship Good For Us?
Situationships Teaches Us What We Want And Don’t Want In A Relationship
Imagine this – you met a boy at your high school and the both of you were attracted to each other, and you started texting him every day. You thought that this would Bloom into a relationship but only to realize that he is not ready to reciprocate your feelings for a relationship. Of course, you get mad and sad for a few weeks or months because you are disappointed.
However, when you started to catch feelings for him, you did not know that this was not going to work out. Likewise, many of us actually do not plan to be in a situationship, but it is more of a situation that has led to this state of being in connection with someone who could not commit to us fully for life long.
In other words, nobody actually knows that they are picking someone who is emotionally unavailable until and unless they have started talking to them and getting to know them.
What’s good about actually opening up to strangers and being brave enough to let your feelings lead the way is that you give yourself an opportunity to understand what you want in a relationship or even know who you are attracted to and what your type of person is.
Whether a connection leads to something substantial or not, it teaches you about your emotions, your attachment styles, how you react when you like somebody, and so much more about your preferences in a relationship.
So, is situationship good? If you are not overly fixated on the outcome of a connection that you have with people, you will be free to connect with people from different walks of life, and therefore understand who you can tolerate and what the traits that you are looking for in people.
This is not to say that you should abandon your needs and wants in a relationship, and get stuck with somebody who cannot give you the full attention that you deserve in a relationship and then wonder “why do guys like situationship” and leave you feeling drained. This is actually to say that you shouldn’t be stressing too much about the outcome of a dating process and jump straight to the conclusion even before you actually get to know someone.
It Eases You Off Life’s Stresses For A Bit
So, let’s say you meet a cute guy at the bar, you exchange numbers with him, you start texting him, and a few days later, you get to know that he is not ready to commit to a relationship. However, when you are with him, you find yourself happy and you like talking to him. You learn a lot of things from him and it just makes your single life a little more lively than before.
It’s actually the quality of people that you come across that matters the most. It is not so much about the outcome of a connection. If you go out to date people only wanting to marry them, you will not let things happen naturally.
When you’re dating someone, you should not be pressured with the question of whether or not you will end up marrying this person. If you do, and if you ask a lot of serious questions at the beginning of the dating process, it may shift the pressure on the person that you’re dating, and he might start to fake things just to give you a good impression of him.
It Gives You An Idea Of What You Like Sexually
If you have been celibate your entire life, and you only want to have physical intimacy with somebody that you are married to, (which is not wrong), you will not get to know a lot of things about your own preference when it comes to physical intimacy.
If you date someone without the pressure of actually knowing if the both of you will end up together, you will give yourself a chance to explore your own sexuality. What kind of touches excite you, what is your kissing style, and generally who you are when it comes to sex?
So many others actually grow through the fleeting connection that we have with people who have come into our lives for a brief period. It is impossible to grow as a person only through the connection that we have with somebody that we are married to. It means that we are missing out on a lot of things in life and that we are putting life on hold until we are married to the love of our lives.
Casual Relationships Can Turn Into Serious Ones
As long as you’re not stuck with somebody that you clearly know cannot commit to you for a relationship at this point in time – when you are dating multiple people without the pressure of wanting to settle down, you will allow yourself to be your true authentic self when it comes to dating.
You will also be able to observe the people that you’re dating to see who they are when there is no pressure imposed to settle down. After all, the best love that could ever happen to us is one that comes without us making it happen or forcing a connection. Letting it happen organically is ultimately the best way to slowly create intimacy between two people.
While it is true that many casual relationships just die off and may not bloom into something more, if you are single and have been dating for quite some time without success, it could mean that you are stressing yourself out too much on the outcome of your dating process.
If you like talking to someone, and if he is not toxic, he’s not controlling you, then you should just enjoy the process of being in touch with people without any expectations and see where it leads. I’m not saying that you should be stuck with this person and wait around for something to happen, just enjoy the process of having company to talk to and getting to know genuine nice people around.
It Exposes You To A Wide Range Of Human Experiences And Emotions
If you have done all the healing works right now, if you have your health and wealth in check, you have been focusing on yourselves for quite a bit right now, and you think that you are ready to receive love and share love with somebody, but you have not met the right person yet, it can be extremely frustrating to be very rigid in dating people.
You may have the desire to let things lose and talk to people without the pressure of quickly concluding if you could end up together with them. When you date without any expectations, you expose yourself to a white range of human experiences and emotions.
Is situationship good? It is good if you learn how to take things as it is. As long as the person that you’re dating is not someone toxic and disrespectful, talking to a lot of people and getting to know people, in general, will expose you to the good and the bad in people.
I’m sure you’ve heard that in order to find a prince charming you have to kiss a few frogs first. Without actually coming across people who are not good for you, you wouldn’t know who is good for you. It is through these experiences you will get to learn more about what you really want out of a relationship.
After all, it is really difficult to judge somebody and there are a lot of gray areas when it comes to people and emotions. Some people could be a great match for you but they may not be ready for you at this point in time because possibly they are getting out of a divorce. Maybe, just maybe in the future comma, you both could come together and build a life together. But, for this to happen, you need to invest time in getting to know people without so much pressure to find out what is going to happen next.
How To Protect Yourself In A Situationship?
Make sure that you are being treated in a respectful manner. This includes various aspects like:
Being Transparent About Boundaries and Respecting Them
The both of you should be transparent about boundaries and respect them as well. If you have desired not to continue being in a situation ship when either one of you get into a relationship, this has to be clearly communicated so that neither one of you gets strung along when the other gets into a relationship.
Are you going to be friends even after you have entered a relationship? If yes, ask yourself if you are loyal to your partner by still keeping in touch with your old flames. If you have decided not to stay in touch after getting into a relationship, and if your situationship partner continues to bug you to stay in contact, that is clearly going against the boundaries that you have set for this arrangement.
Not Being Abusive
Now, a lot of men treat situationship as an avenue to try different sexual fantasies without respecting the ones and needs of the women involved. They would eventually be interested in just having intercourse without even bothering about their own needs. To make things worse, men can also result in abusive behaviors based on what they have seen in pornography and you may be in trouble if you come across men like this.
Be sure that the men that you are involved with are respectful enough to listen to your opinions before you engage with them in any sort of arrangement.
Not Threatening You With Intimate Materials
What happens if he chooses to keep your photos or videos that are private without your knowledge? Are you sure that you’re not being recorded? I know this can seem like very threatening and scary stuff but it could happen to you because you may never know, because if he is just going to be for some time in your life, you cannot expect him to ultimately respect your boundary. Phone recording sex is a real threat!
FAQs
How long is it OK to be in a Situationship?
There is no expiration date on the situationship until one of you puts an expiration date on it. You both must be aware of how long this will last, and make sure you understand that you should not expect more than just a company out of this situationship. Whether you meet occasionally or have a boundary set between the both of you to not catch feelings, you should end it if it is in the best interest of the both of you.
What is the benefit of Situationship?
It’s an opportunity for self-growth. If you look at it as human connection where not everything needs to be black and white, human beings can teach you a thing or two about what you need in a relationship and you can still enjoy connection without putting too much pressure on the outcome of the relationship.
Do situationships turn into relationships?
Turning your situationship into a committed relationship can be a significant step forward, but it’s not for everyone. Although in general, what starts off as a casual encounter has a lower chance of turning into something substantial, this really depends on the state of mind of both people involved. Every relationship dynamic is different and only you know if the both of you are ready for something serious.
Do situationships ever work?
While some may find fulfillment in temporary connections, especially after a divorce or breakup, as they just need a companion, others might experience confusion, emotional uncertainty, or dissatisfaction due to the lack of clarity and commitment. The success of a situationship depends on the individuals involved, their expectations, communication, and whether the arrangement aligns with their emotional needs and desires.
Ask yourself how you feel when you are in touch with the person you are in contact with. Do they drain you more than they fulfill you? If yes, you need to put a stop to it as you are in a toxic situation.
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