How To Live a Less-Lonely Single Life?

How to live a less-lonely single life is a question I ask myself a lot because what if I end up single until the end? How will I cope? Who will cry when you die? Well… if this sounds familiar… welcome to my post where I share my recent experiences.

A few days ago, I had a voice note conversation with someone I deeply respect—Hope Engineer. He’s originally from Sri Lanka and now lives in the UK, and we got to talking about something we both understand intimately: loneliness.

He said something that stuck with me:
“Conferences are great. They create a spark. But they don’t keep the fire going.”

That line hit hard. And it’s true.

You can go to the gym, a retreat, a seminar—you’ll feel lit up for a while. You’ll meet people with similar interests. Maybe even have deep conversations. But then you go home. You’re alone. And it fades.

Because those connections weren’t built to last. They weren’t built to do life together.

@single.women.in.3

Expat loneliness, gyms, conferences and actually finding where we belong to at the end of the day, and finding people to do life with. #loneliness #datingadvice #datinglife #datingonline #datingproblems #datinggoals #datingwithapurpose #onlinedating #datinginyour30s

♬ original sound – Single Women in 30s and Beyond – Single Women in 30s and Beyond

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Shared Interests ≠ Shared Lives

Hope reminded me of something fundamental: repetition matters.
Commitment matters.

So many people are tired of transactional interactions. Tired of surface-level “community” where everyone comes together once, but never again. Tired of always having to start over.

We’re not just looking for people who like the same music or hobbies.
We’re looking for people we can be vulnerable with. People we can rely on.
People we can do life with.

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I Found This Out the Real Way

Last weekend, I attended WordCamp Johor Bahru, and I met amazing people with whom I could talk deeply about professional blogging and life. I’ve always dreamed of pursuing my PhD in human connection, and funny enough—I recently spoke about it on my TikTok, not even knowing where to start.

But then the universe delivered.

I met an MIT scholar—now a friend—who spent Sunday with me exploring my city. She listened, she encouraged, and then she said it:
“You’ve outgrown your city. Why not move? Come to the US, attend conferences, see what else is possible outside your comfort zone.”

I needed that nudge.
She gave me a few solid pointers. And for the first time in a long time, I felt hopeful and excited about my academic goals again.

It felt so good connecting with someone like her.

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Building Meaningful Connection Outside of Romance

I also recently joined the Global Initiative on Loneliness & Connection (GILC)’s online lecture series, where experts spoke about loneliness across cultures. It was enlightening.

Running an academic editing business, living alone, and working mostly in solitude—it’s no surprise I’ve become passionate about researching how loneliness affects entrepreneurs and professionals. I’m preparing to become an independent researcher in this field.

Conversations like these energize me. Conferences like these give me hope. They remind me: even if romantic connection is missing, life can still feel full.

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What’s Actually Helped Me Feel Less Lonely

Wondering how to live a less-lonely single life? I want to share a few powerful shifts that have worked for me:

1. Focus on What Needs Your Attention

If your finances or health are shaky, focus there first.
When you feel grounded in these areas, the lonely feeling lessens—because you’re getting dopamine from meaningful progress.

2. Let Go of Control

Life won’t always go the way you planned.
Letting go of that grip and learning to enjoy what is helps you redefine your relationship with faith and trust.

3. Choose Repetition Over Random Sparks

Join places where people gather consistently.
Clubs. Book circles. Study groups. Religious or cultural organizations.

Don’t just go to a random yoga class and hope to make friends—ask yourself:
Can I build a relationship with this person outside the class?
Repetition breeds familiarity. Familiarity breeds trust.

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Be Cautious of “Packaged Connection”

We’re living in a world where loneliness is being commodified.

Some businesses, gyms, and coaching programs create “family days” or communities that seem warm—but require you to conform. I’ve attended coaching sessions where, in order to be heard, you had to think like them. To belong, you had to behave like them.

It’s a subtle manipulation.

That’s not connection. That’s emotional control. You deserve love

Ask yourself: How many spiritual gurus or influencers have massive followings—only because they silence dissent? Belonging should never cost you your critical thinking.

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Focus on People Who Are Emotionally Available

A lot of single people—like me—sometimes shut down emotionally.
One day we’re social butterflies, and the next, we’re drained and unavailable.

That’s why connecting through shared pain is only partially effective.
True, sustainable connection needs emotional stability and mutual availability.

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Purpose Heals More Than You Think

When I started leaning into my purpose—growing my business, joining academic conversations, and setting the foundation for a PhD—I began to feel full again.
Not fixed. Not immune to loneliness. But whole enough.

And that made all the difference.

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Give Yourself Permission to Outgrow

Meeting that MIT scholar wasn’t just inspiring—it was clarifying.
“You’ve outgrown your city,” she said. And I knew she was right.

Sometimes, loneliness isn’t just emotional—it’s environmental.
It’s a nudge from the universe: Grow. Move. Expand.

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Final Thoughts

So, how to live a less-lonely single life?

• Invest in your purpose.
• Say yes to new cities, new conferences, and new communities.
• Connect with people who want to show up again and again—not just once.
• Protect your mind from emotional predators.
• Give yourself grace when life doesn’t go according to plan.

You don’t need a romantic partner to build a fulfilling life.
But you do need people. Your people.
The ones you can do life with—unfiltered, unforced, and unafraid.

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