Are you wondering what the challenges of being single are? Have you been single for a long time and you are wondering what it feels like to be single for a long time? Or do you think that people don’t really talk about the challenges of being single enough that you don’t feel included in this society?
As a 35 and single woman, living alone and running my own business alone, I have got a lot of things to share with you especially when it comes to the challenges of being single because I have seen it all in these five years of living alone and probably these are some of the challenges of being single that people don’t really talk about and you could explain this to your loved ones so that they understand people like you and I better.
I’m Jasveena and I have been blogging since 2013, documenting my experience as well as helpful professional resources and tips I found online in seeking meaningful relationships and connections, and I am here to share them with you so that you are not alone in cruising through this journey called life that may seem like a lonely path.
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My Experience
I’ve been living alone since 2019 when my brother got married and COVID happened shortly after that, bringing my life into a dark pit of loneliness. Living alone and also being single at the same time can take a huge toll on your mental health!
I struggled to process my emotions a few years ago whereby I would go into the flight of fight mode and break down quite often to the extent that I needed someone to soothe my emotions.
It was almost like I needed somebody to be next to me when I woke up. Sometimes, waking up without another human being next to me drives me into a sudden panic attack. Handling that was difficult because I had to step up and become my own caregiver, it was almost like trying to parent my inner child and telling myself that I would be okay.
Apart from that, five years down the road of being single and living alone, I am still grappling with some of the tough decision-making processes like wanting to adopt a kid or becoming a single mom by choice, because ultimately, I do not want to end up living alone and the thought of not having a family can be crippling.
Undeniably, there are a lot of pros of being single that people would highlight to you when you say that you are single but there are also challenges that come along with this solo life that people may not understand enough.
5 Challenges Of Being Single
- Wondering If We Need To Fix Ourselves In Dating
Have you ever been constantly in the mode of trying to fix yourself because you think that you are not enough and you should try harder and better?
Ironically, as I am typing this out on a Saturday morning, where there is a speed dating event going on, which I have not signed up for because I’ve noticed a low turnaround among the men also I thought that given the fact that they have opened up the participation for people as young as 25, I thought of skipping this. However, a large part of myself actually feels really bad right now because I feel that I should be just taking the opportunities being presented to me no matter how big or small they are because I should be trying harder!
A part of me knows that it’s not a huge deal if I skip attending this event but also the guilty feeling that comes with not trying harder can actually make you feel really bad for not opening yourself up to opportunities.
So, have you ever felt that you should be trying harder, lowering your standards, trying to get to know people from different communities, and just doing anything random and odd just to meet new people?
Have you ever been so desperate for a date that you started swiping on dating apps just for the sake of going for a date? These are some of the things that single people face daily. We ultimately want to find our people, our forever person but at the same time also feel that we are beating ourselves up because we are not trying hard enough.
- Constant Solo Dinners and Lunches
So, let’s talk about solo dinners and lunches that may seem exciting and liberating at first because you do not need to discuss venues and choices upfront with someone else in your life. However, as days turn into weeks and as weeks turn into years, it gets boring because you just basically do not have anybody to go out for dinners and lunches with.
I don’t know what you feel about trying out fancy restaurants sitting there on your own alone out new things but for me, doing this the time can feel like an odd experience because people usually come in with their family members or their partners.
- No Dedicated Family Support
So the lack of family support can also feel like the world has alienated us because everyone else has their partners to go to in times of crisis but we do not have anyone that we can rely on except for maybe parents and siblings for some of us who are still able to support us and maybe a few friends.
However, if you do not have friends who are willing to be there through thick and thin, it can feel like you do not have anyone who is committed to helping you throughout your life because, for most of us, our friends have their own separate lives and are not committed to attending to our needs when we need them.
I’m sure you know what I’m talking about because you cannot be expecting your friends to be available for outings, dinners, and lunches like a partner would.
- Who Will Cry When You Die
Who will cry when you die? Being surrounded by people actually gives you the dopamine hit that you need because you feel safe, loved, and secure in this world.
If you are residing in an old folks home, you will realize that even your family members like your siblings don’t have enough time to visit you when you need them.
Well, you could refute the statement by saying that even your children would not be able to visit you when you are in an old folks home. Nothing is guaranteed.
However, having your own family just means that you are giving yourself a chance to feel more loved and cared for. Because, at least if your spouse is not around, probably a child can take care of you and love you when you are on your deathbed. If you do not have children, your spouse can take care of you.
However, if you don’t have anyone being single, you are basically depriving yourself of the chance to be properly cared for when you’re older. This is something that a lot of single people don’t want to face when they are older.
- Questions On Inheritance
Who cares about inheritance and who cares about who’s gonna inherit my money if I am gone one day because I’m single and I just do not care about what happens to my money when I die?
I know that is the best mentality or state of mind to be in when you are single because ultimately, when you die you do not have to be bothered about living behind your children or your spouse and worrying about not having anyone to take care of them.
However, for a lot of us single people, one of the challenges of being single is not having anyone to inherit our wealth when we pass on. For the same reason, a lot of single people lack the motivation to earn and drive fast, in general, to achieve more success in life because having a moderate amount of money for themselves is fine. Therefore, a lot of single people tend to live a very complacent life.
Current Single People Statistics
The findings by Statista on single people worldwide highlight a rise in the number of single individuals across industrialized nations, including the U.S., Czechia, and Japan, where a distinct “single culture” has emerged. High divorce rates, particularly in Portugal, contribute to this trend, often leading to an increase in single-parent households, with single mothers being more common than single fathers, especially in the U.S. Financial challenges, such as high childcare costs, are significant for single parents.
The COVID-19 pandemic accelerated the growth of online dating platforms, with services like Tinder experiencing a surge in popularity. The Asian market, particularly China, saw notable growth in online dating usage. The most current Census Bureau report on marital status found that 49% of Americans are married, while 51% are single. Being single is defined as being separated, divorced, widowed, or never married. According to the most recent data by IUSW, an estimated 2.1 billion individuals worldwide are currently single.
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How To Face These Challenges
So, how can you as a single person face these challenges and prepare ahead of time so that at least you can feel that you’re being loved and cared for?
- Consider Adopting Kids
One of the things that I’m considering right now in life as a single woman is to adopt kids. I’ve been trying to get in touch with people who have adopted kids and also lawyers who could give me a clear picture of what adoption looks like in Malaysia so that I am able to make an informed decision when the time comes for me to decide.
This is because I was contemplating egg freezing some time ago and I now think that it is not a feasible idea because egg freezing is not only expensive but if you were to use those eggs when you are in your 40s, that would mean you are going to have kids much later in life and you will have a shorter time to spend with the kids.
So, for me, it’s either I do it now or I don’t do it at all because I don’t think it is wise to put the idea of having kids until our mid-40s when we are getting older and we are not as energetic as we naturally are in our 30s.
- Care Home For Singles
In case you do not know, there are a lot of care homes for singles nowadays and you can even sign up for single homes when you are younger so that you can pay for it upfront and not worry about payment later in life when you’re older.
This is becoming a trend, especially among communities with a rising number of single people because ultimately we are all social animals and we need people to thrive in life. Therefore, expect a lot of businesses to come up in the future to attend to the needs of single older people.
When you choose to live in a home catering to the needs of single people, you will make new friends and you will not feel that you’re alone in life. However, it is understandable that possibly you wouldn’t be getting the care and love that you would if you were living with a supportive family.
- Form a Close Support Group
Women are very good at forming support groups because women generally thrive with the support of sisterhood. Men, on the other hand, tend to be lonelier because they do not express their feelings and they do not get support from fellow men.
If you are single, find single people just like you so that you can help each other when there is a crisis. If it is possible, try to find a close support group in the city that you’re living in so that you can visit your sisters often and this will not make you feel like you are all alone in life.
- Live With Singles
So, if you have found a group of single people in your city, it is even better to live with them if you do not want to pay rent for an entire house when you can share the rental with your housemates who are also single and this would also eliminate the possibilities of you being lonely.
Find housemates who are helpful and respect your boundaries. This would not only help you to handle life as a single person better but also eliminate being desperate for a date.
- Open Yourself To Hosting People At Home
Have you ever heard of the Couchsurfing idea? Basically, what happens is that when someone is visiting your country and wants to live with you for a couple of days, you can host them and in return, they would accompany you and offer you something in return, which is usually like a cultural exchange, and they also host you back when you are in their country.
This eliminates the feeling of being alone because you can open yourself up to new experiences and you basically train your mind to believe that you will be able to make friends with new people and it’s not possible to be lonely because you learn the skill of being the people and interacting with them.
FAQs
What are the challenges of a single life?
Living as a single person often brings a mix of emotions—loneliness, independence, self-exploration, and empowerment. Balancing these emotions can be difficult, but learning to accept and grow from them is key to emotional well-being. Loneliness tends to be one of the most prominent struggles.
What challenges do singles face?
Single adults frequently deal with feelings of loneliness due to the absence of companionship and emotional support from a partner. They might also encounter challenges in forming and sustaining romantic relationships, which can prolong their single status.
What are the struggles of being single?
Extended periods of being single can lead to feelings of isolation, potentially impacting mental health. It’s crucial to actively combat these emotions through social engagement, self-care, and possibly seeking help from a professional if feelings of loneliness become overwhelming.
What is the hardest part of being single?
The most difficult aspect of single life is often the sense of isolation that can develop without a close emotional bond. This isolation may make it harder to trust and open up to new people, and the fear of not finding a meaningful connection again can create hesitation when pursuing future relationships.
