Why Do Guys Sext When They Have A Girlfriend: 5 Sinful Reasons

Why do guys sext when they have a girlfriend? Are you wondering why guys do this all the time, especially on dating apps trying to seem like single men when they are actually in a relationship?

This is especially true for men who do not really want to meet up with you but want to keep texting you and possibly sexting as well. 

I have come across a guy who was reluctant to have phone conversations and video calls and only wanted to talk during a short commute to his work.

This is a typical example of men trying to string you along when they are in a committed relationship. Let’s look into why they do this and how to identify them.

My Experience

I used to wonder “why do guys sext when they have a girlfriend?”. It doesn’t quite make sense especially when they have someone to sext with. They meet someone, court them, fall in love, make dinner plans, countless dates and all these just to find someone else to sext with? 

I matched with someone on Bumble in November 2024, and he seemed to be really serious and genuine at first, talking about compatibility and his sick mom, as well as his commitment to his family and what I can expect if I end up with him. 

Fair enough, I thought maybe, just maybe, I could give this guy a chance and I decided to share my number. 

Again, the conversations weren’t sleazy but there were a lot of textings and I wasn’t comfortable with the illusion of being close to someone I haven’t met yet. 

So, I asked him if it was possible to have phone conversations and video calls, to which he responded reluctantly, saying there was not much privacy at home for him to talk to me. 

Then, one fine rainy day, his conversation sounded a bit sleazy, like there was an attempt to gauge my reaction to his initiation. I played along for a couple of minutes to see where it was going, and I wasn’t surprised – he was into sexting.

His reluctance to have phone calls when he’s at home or video calls clearly show he’s in a relationship but wants to sext. When I reduced my text messages, he got pissed off and told me we were not on the same page and that he would like to stop communicating with me! 

The trash took itself out. 🤣

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Why Do Guys Sext When They Have A Girlfriend

I know it’s frustrating to see men behaving like this, but why do guys sext when they have a girlfriend?

1. It Boosts Their Ego

Married men or those who are in a relationship tend to do this to boost their ego. Imagine being married or in a relationship with someone for a few years, and not being in the dating scene and knowing if you still have what it takes to court someone – it evokes the curiosity in men to try it out just to reassure themselves that they are still desired by other people.

It could also mean that possibly the relationship is not really going well, and they’d want to start dipping their feet into the dating pool to be prepared for the worst in their marriage. This helps people to immediately get into another relationship as soon as their marriage or relationship ends. 

They could also be doing this to challenge their current partner and to show them that they are being desired by many others. 

If their partners have been cheating on them, sexting other women is a way to seek revenge and feel better, because sexting can be done very discreetly and people usually perceive it to have a “low impact” on their relationship or marriage.

2. Loyalty Means Nothing To Them

Men who cheat sexually (even if it is phone recording sex) aren’t bothered about loyalty. They do not subscribe to monogamy and if seeking the attention of their partners is difficult, especially if their partners are busy working or have been caught up with house chores, other responsibilities, and life in general, they want to be able to seek cheap thrills via sexting.

It’s a very low-effort way to find pleasure and all they need to do is hide behind the screen and find as many women as they can to sext with.

3. It’s Okay For Men To Go Astray

Men in relationships sext other women because of patriarchy and the notion that men can go astray because they have high sexual drive which cannot be satiated by one woman. 

Men like these believe that their pleasure comes first and they have all the freedom to fulfill their desires within or outside a relationship.

Controlling sexual urges is not in their dictionary ever because their dicks have a mind of their own and they can’t be controlled. 

It’s patriarchal nonsense like this that has shaped the minds of cheaters for centuries!

4. They Have Self-Esteem Issues

You may have seen men sexting their wives or girlfriends and also sexting other women at the same time. They are in fact in happy relationships but they still choose to sext others. This is purely because of self-esteem issues whereby they don’t just want validation from their partners, but also others. 

Men like these tend to chase many women because they don’t believe that they are good enough. For them, it’s the numbers game, and they feel that the more women they can have fun with, the more fulfilling it is, and manly they are.

5. They Have Sex Addiction 

Sex is a sacred connection between two people, and even if you’re having casual sex, if you’re not careful about who you’re having sex with and what your thoughts on sex are, you could get addicted to sex. 

Sex, like alcohol, releases stress, and if you can’t handle stress in a positive manner, you’ll be addicted to sex and sexting is one of the easiest ways to have the pleasure of connecting with someone else sexually. 

Men in relationships do this purely because they are addicted to it and not because they don’t love their partner. The inability to handle sexual energy can lead to severe addiction.

What Can You Do About Cheating Men?

1. You Can Expose Them

If you caught someone s****** you and you found that they are in a relationship, you would be mad at them. At the same time, you also would want to let their partner know about this, you can consider reaching out to their partner to expose them.

However, understand that this may not be something as simple as it seems to be because you wouldn’t know how the partner is going to react because they can choose not to believe you unless you have proof to back yourself up.

You can also choose to expose them anonymously but this requires quite an effort from your end. Whatever you choose to do, ask yourself if you are going to make yourself feel good with the choices that you make today. 

Are you deciding based on your emotions that are raging against him or are you genuinely wanting to let his partner know about his behaviors?

Consider picturing the impacts of actions. Imagine the worst-case scenario where his partner refused to believe you. How would you react? How would you feel? Will you regret your actions? 

Will you be happy and content with your decision regardless of how it is going to turn out knowing that you have done your best and you only have the partner’s best interest in your heart?

2. Block Them Everywhere 

You should also consider blocking them everywhere you are connected with them and this includes social media platforms. 

Cut them off completely from phone communication, email, and everywhere else that you think they could reach out to you potentially and confuse the s*** out of you.

3. Confront Them

Confronting him by asking for accountability for his actions may not necessarily get you the answer you want from him. But, it will give you peace of mind, knowing you have taken your rage out on the person that caused you hurt. 

This will prevent you from hurting other people who have not done you wrong in your dating journey in the future.

How To Move On Without Grudge?

It will be hard initially to flush the memories out of your system but as long as you don’t “touch the wound”, you’ll heal slowly and it will hurt less in the future. You will be wondering why do guys sext when they have a girlfriend a lot and keep replaying the incident in the beginning.

Focus on yourself and the things you like to do. Do not get into the dating scene feeling desperate to move on. It may land you more problems if you meet the wrong ones.