Hoe Phase After Breakup: 3 Greatest Misconceptions To Beware Of

The hoe phase after breakup can be a liberating experience and casual sex for women has been made normal because feminists have been fighting for the rights of women to enjoy sex without being slut-shamed.

However, is equality all about wanting to do what men have been doing and taking pride in it? What is the hoe phase of the breakup and what are the misconceptions that we need to be aware of so that we do not ruin the experience of dating and wanting to date to marry by getting into this short-lived period that might impact our future?

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I’m Jasveena and I have been blogging since 2013, documenting my experience as well as helpful professional resources and tips I found online in seeking meaningful relationships and connections, and I am here to share them with you so that you are not alone in cruising through this journey called life that may seem like a lonely path.

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My Experience

As someone who had taken a lot of time being single after a breakup, I can tell that sometimes the period the single people take why not dating and being celibate can be a double-edged sword because while we focus on ourselves we also lose touch with dating people and we lose the opportunities to understand our sexuality.

However, if you have been wondering “is situationship good”, and how to navigate through casual dating, you need to understand that while it is liberating to be able to explore our sexuality with temporary people, it can also be a daunting experience because people are not really going to treat you with care and respect and this alone is a good reason to be really careful about entering the hoe phase after break up.

We also need to remember that without proper healing and time taken to really understand what we need in life, we are just numbing the pain by entering into the hoe phase after break up.

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What Is a Hoe Phase?

The hoe phase generally refers to the period where a woman is just fresh out of a relationship and is not ready for long-term serious commitment but would like to explore casual sex in a non-committed setting.

If a man sleeps with a lot of women, he is a stud. However, if a woman does that, she is a s***. The feminist movement helped to change the perspective people had towards women and their sexuality. As a result of it, many women started to explore their own sexuality and tried to understand what makes them happy in terms of sex.

Hoe Phase After Breakup: 3 Greatest Misconceptions 

  1. Hoe-Phase Vs Conscious Sex

You might be thinking that during the hoe phase after break up, you are enjoying sex and feeling liberated because you are able to explore what makes you happy sexually. However, there is a difference between choosing conscious sex versus getting into the hoe-phase without understanding the consequences of having sexual intercourse with random people. 

Conscious sex is one that happens with someone that you have some level of connection with. It is not somebody that you just met in the bar. Conscious sex is something that you choose to experience with someone that you find connected with your soul although probably the two of you are not ready to commit to each other.

It is safer and also it provides a sense of meaning to the connection.

  1. You Would Judge What’s Good Based on Sex

The hoe phase after break up can be extremely dangerous because you would be judging people based on how good the sex is. Sex can be really addictive and it causes attachment among people, although women are quicker to attach to men after physical intimacy.

However, when it comes to long-term relationships, we all know that sex is a part of it only and a lot of other compatibility aspects are not tied to sex alone. So, if your brain is wired to look for physical intimacy first, you might be overlooking other aspects of intimacy.

  1. You Would Crave Attention From Temporary People

So, this person is giving you attention sporadically and he is breadcrumbing you, because he wants sex from you and now you crave attention from this temporary person because the attention is good and the physical intimacy is good. 

Instead of actually recovering from a breakup, what happens is that you subconsciously attract toxic people based on their narcissistic behavior. Because you crave attention from them this would actually hinder you from dating new people and getting into healthy relationships.

What You Should Do After A Breakup?

Instead of getting into a hoe phase after break up, you need to evaluate your priorities and take a break from dating. I know that a lot of us would want to explore options out there after getting out of a breakup because we do not want to make the same mistakes again. 

Choose conscious sex and choose a healthy connection even if both of you are choosing to be in a short temporary connection. 

Ultimately you should be connecting with people who have respect for you because only then you will be able to identify what you like in a person and what kind of relationship you want to be in. Imagine getting into tons of temporary connections with s***** people where you actually only learn what you do not want in a person as compared to what you want to see in a person.

You would rather meet one beautiful soul than a hundred idiots who treat you badly because this is going to leave a bad impact on you.

What You Should Not After A Breakup?

You should not immediately look for a remedy to get out of the pain of a breakup by looking for a substitute on dating apps. You should also not think that you are taking revenge on your ex by choosing to enter into the hoe phase after break up, because this is only going to hurt you in the long run. 

Do not also get into any sort of addiction to numb the pain or orbit your ex-boyfriend on social media because you will not heal from the breakup.

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What are the 5 stages of a breakup?

The five stages of grief, as described by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, are:

  1. Denial: Refusing to accept reality, feeling numb, and in shock.
  2. Anger: Frustration and helplessness turn into anger, which may be directed at others or oneself.
  3. Bargaining: Making deals or promises, often to a higher power, in hopes of reversing the loss.
  4. Depression: Deep sadness and despair as the reality of the loss sets in.
  5. Acceptance: Coming to terms with the loss and finding a way to move forward.

These stages are a framework for understanding and coping with grief, though not everyone experiences them in the same way or order.

How long does a breakup phase last?

The duration of a breakup phase varies widely depending on the individual and the circumstances of the relationship. On average, studies suggest it can take around three to six months to start feeling better after a significant breakup. Factors influencing this include the length and intensity of the relationship, the reasons for the breakup, the support system available, and personal coping mechanisms. It’s important to allow yourself to grieve and heal at your own pace, as there is no set timeline for moving on from a breakup.

Who moves faster after breakup?

Research found that man actually takes a longer time to fully recover from heartbreak if they have been truly genuine and invested in a relationship. Women may move on faster if they have been fed up with the relationship. It takes longer for men to process emotions and may not get over the loss of a partner fully.

What is the recovery phase of a breakup?

The recovery phase of a breakup involves several stages:

  1. Acknowledgement and Acceptance: Recognizing the end of the relationship and accepting the reality of the situation.
  2. Grieving: Experiencing emotions such as sadness, anger, and confusion. This is a crucial part of processing the loss.
  3. Reflection and Understanding: Reflecting on the relationship, understanding what went wrong, and learning from the experience.
  4. Rebuilding: Re-establishing your routine, engaging in self-care, and focusing on personal growth.
  5. Moving Forward: Reaching a point where you feel ready to form new relationships and can look back at the past relationship without overwhelming pain.

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