I Hate My Girlfriends Dog: 3 Ways Save The Relationship

So, you came here after typing “I hate my girlfriends dog” and you landed on my blog, oh maybe you’re on Pinterest and you just got curious about how to navigate differences when it comes to owning pets and trying to date at the same time. Maybe you are dating someone really awesome but you do not like the fact that they are having pets or maybe even you just want to keep boundaries with your partner’s pets like not allowing them on the dining table or bed, and wondering how to communicate this with them. 

As someone who dislikes cats and has not had a big pet at home growing up, I find it extremely difficult to date someone who brings their cats to bed or even sleeps with them. 

Let me try to help you out with some of the tips that have helped me throughout my daily journey how I become more tolerant towards people who have pets and also how I have communicated my preferences to them in order to make things work because dating is all about two people and one should not give up on a great person because of unmet expectations and because they have a pet.

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I’m Jasveena and I have been blogging since 2013, documenting my experience as well as helpful professional resources and tips I found online in seeking meaningful relationships and connections, and I am here to share them with you so that you are not alone in cruising through this journey called life that may seem like a lonely path.

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My Experience

I hate my girlfriend’s dog or I hate my boyfriend’s dog! We all have been there and I think we all have dated at least one person who has pets and they love pets. They love being with them and they love to have the pets roam around the house freely.

In the past, I tried to refrain from dating people who have pets. I think that someone who has pets will have bigger responsibilities and it is probably like having a child and co-parenting a pet. Imagine dating someone who’s lazy and who just wants to push the responsibilities of cleaning after their pets. I know this is not something that we want to deal with especially when we have not signed up for a partner that comes with a pet. 

However, as I grew older, I realized that a lot of people are actually formed of pets and even I have considered having a pet myself when I feel lonely. It is not a crime to have a pet, especially for single people, and therefore it has become a norm to expect all the single people to have pets with them. However, what we can do as someone who is pet-free is to think through our non-negotiables and communicate that clearly with our potential date so that they are clear about our preferences.

For instance, I was dating a guy who lived with his sister and the sister had a cat. However, the guy made it clear that once he has his own house, when he is moving out, he will not be bringing along the cat and he will be fat-free. I also made it clear that I probably will be okay with pets but not pets on the bed or on the kitchen counter where we are eating. I think it is probably a little bit difficult for pet lovers to understand the fact that we are not comfortable with pets being on our couches. However, when it comes to dating, one has to remember that it is very much impossible to find a partner who has been brought up with the same values as us.

On the other hand, I have also dated someone else who owned a cat and I saw the cat being on the bed and he made it clear that he loves the three cats that he has. Upon seeing this, I got really uncomfortable and I had to make it clear to him that I may not be able to live with cats that are on the bed or the couch or even the kitchen counter.

If people make changes to accommodate to a new life, like moving out of their parents’ house, or even making a huge change that involves their siblings and parents like finding a new house to stay in once they are married come out whereby now the parents have to adjust to a new lifestyle, I don’t see why adjustments cannot be made when it comes to pets. It is all about creating a new boundary to accommodate both pets and also a partner’s needs.

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3 Ways To Identify If You Can Tolerate Pets

I hate my girlfriend’s dog. Can I ditch the dog? I know that you certainly have this on your mind because you just do not want to deal with the dog that you hate but you also do not want to let go of your girlfriend just because she loves this dog. I mean, who would want to break up over a pet, right? 

So, one of the things that we can do is to identify if we can actually tolerate pets and this should be done when we are dating someone.

  1. Your History of Owning Pets

If you look at your history of owning pets, if you are only comfortable with having small pets like birds and hamsters, you may not be comfortable having bigger pets like a few cats or even a big dog that requires quite a bit of a commitment because, of course, you wouldn’t be able to move freely with the dog.

We used to have hamsters and we used to carry the hamsters around in their cage and bring them wherever we were going without a problem because they were small pets. So, if you ask me, small pets would definitely be okay with me because I’ve had a history of owning them myself.

I have also lived with some of my family members who owned dogs but they used to cage the dog outside of the house and the dogs did not enter the house, which was perfectly fine for me.

  1. What Type of Pets Are You Okay With?

Cats are a big no for me and I am not sure if I’m able to tolerate them at all. I think I will probably be okay if they are outside of the house and they do not roam freely inside the house especially being on the couch or even being on the bed.

I am ok with dogs but I think because I used to have my house spotlessly clean, I wouldn’t prefer dogs entering my house as well. So, this has to be identified earlier on and you probably need to visit your partner when you’re dating them to see if you’re comfortable with how they handle their pets.

  1. Pets on Bed?

I think I have been mentioning this earlier on because some people will just not like their pets to be on the bed and also on the couch. Some people do not allow their pets to enter their kitchen. Some do not allow children to go near pets while eating. You have to clearly identify your non-negotiables because this is going to affect the relationship that you have with your partner later on if you think that you can tolerate this it is silently killing your happiness deep inside. Nobody wants to tolerate it to the extent that you know some things bug you very badly.

  1. Who Takes Care of Them?

Who takes care of the pets? I know that if you have been that free for a long time, coming together with someone who owns a pet means that you should embrace their lifestyle and also their pets as well. However, there should be a clear role that you are playing when it comes to pets. This is especially true if you don’t really like pets but have made some sort of adjustments to live with your partner with the pets because you love your partner more than anything else. If your partner decides to get the pets, most of the responsibilities for cleaning up after them should be on your partner unless you are willing to help them out.

You wouldn’t want to run into problems with your partner because if you have not made things clear about the responsibilities when it comes to pets, you will be very unhappy if your partner expects you to also walk the dog and clean their place. I do know that a relationship takes two people to understand each other and also give and take a lot, but it would be better if you understand your partner’s feelings and do not take them for granted.

I Hate My Girlfriends Dog: How To Save The Relationship

I hate my girlfriend’s dog but I still want to save the relationship. How can I go about this to save my relationship?

  1. List Down How It Impacts The Household – Talk To Her

Is the bad causing you discomfort, is the pet causing you health issues, is the pet causing harm to the children? What you need to do is to understand how it impacts the household and list it down so that you can see how detrimental it is for yourself first. And then, what you need to do is to talk to your partner amicably about this, not in a defensive way but explaining how it strains your relationships, maybe even financially training your partner and yourself by having to maintain the pets.

I can hear you! I can hear you saying that, I have tried all of this, and I have tried talking to her but to no avail. Bring her to meet a pet therapist where you can talk things out to a third person and get their perspective on how to solve this issue in your relationship. I know that it can be extremely difficult to talk to someone who loves pets because they are definitely going to be defensive and they think that they can make things work out. But if this is something that is bothering you and also straining your relationship to a great extent, getting help from a professional to help ease the burden that you have with your relationship can be extremely helpful, because they will know how to speak to your partner in a way that they understand.

  1. To What Extent Can You Comprise?

Even if you are compromising a lot by trying to fit in with living with a pet, there should be a boundary drawn. Because, ultimately you cannot compromise a lot of things that affect your mental health as well. If you clearly know that you cannot have pets on beds, make this clearly known to your partner, and make sure that your partner respects your boundaries because you have made compromises to save your relationship. Therefore, your partner should be able to respect your sacrifice and also adjust her preference accordingly.

  1. Drawing Boundaries To Not Mess Your Personal Space  

What are the places that you deem to be a personal space question mark? Maybe you have an office space in your house and usually do not want the pet to enter your personal space. You can design to have a designated room for your pet where the pet would be resting so that it does not mess up with your personal hygiene and cleanliness. You can also choose to have a separate room for yourself if this is straining your mental health.

Ultimately it is on you and your partner to decide how to create boundaries so that all of you can live under one roof happily.

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FAQs

How do you end a relationship when you have a dog?

If you have been in a relationship and you have pets that you took care of with your partner and now you are separating, what you need to do is to deal with the pet custody outside of the legal Court, and also decide on who is going to parent the pets by taking a mutual decision together.

Ultimately, the one who suggested having pets should take responsibility for the pets because it is definitely difficult to co-parent pets and also to start a new life with new people.

Can dogs be affected by breakups?

Animals do have emotions and they do sense changes that are happening around them, especially if this involves a breakup between their caretakers. Imagine having your partner walk the dog every evening and now the dog would be expecting your ex-partner to walk it as usual, but your ex-partner is not living with you anymore. This can also cause stress among animals.

Should I stay in a relationship with my dog?

A pet is a pet and it is not exactly a child. Even if you have children together, if the both of you cannot live under one roof, you would definitely choose to stay apart amicably because this is going to affect your children if they were to see you arguing every day. The same is true for pets as well because they do not want to live in a distressed situation as well. So, you definitely should not be staying in a relationship just because you both are co-parenting a dog.

How do you get over losing a pet in a relationship?

  • If you are deeply affected by the loss of a pet, you should communicate this with your partner by letting them know that you need some time to be on your own. This is going to let your partner know that you might have more swings and they are not going to take this personally.
  • You can discuss with your partner and check in with them to see how the sudden loss is affecting them and also talk to them about your own feelings as well. You have to be there for your partner during this time of sorrow.
  • Discuss your decisions in the future, whether you are going to have another pet in the future or you want to stay pet-free for some time.
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