Why Do Guys On Dating Apps Want Your Number Immediately?

Why do guys on dating apps want your number immediately after matching with you? 

You have been on dating apps for quite a bit right now going on dates but you notice this weird pattern in the guys that you swiped right on dating apps. 

Maybe in the beginning you thought that guys were actually interested in talking to you and just wanted to skip the small talk, call you and talk to you directly, or even call you to ask you out on a date!

However, a lot of guys after getting your number, would probably call you a few times, text you consistently maybe just for a few days, and then vanish into thin air, and then, you will notice that you will have phone numbers in your directory looking like this:

James #1 Bumble
James Hinge
James #2 Bumble

And the best part is, you wouldn’t even know if you should start deleting these numbers, rekindle the connection with them, or ask them if they are interested in continuing dating. This is the part that irritates a lot of women the most because we expect men who asked for our numbers to be proactive.

So, why do guys on dating apps want your number? and when exactly should you start considering giving your numbers to them?

Guys giving out number abruptly on dating apps

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I’m Jasveena and I have been blogging since 2013, documenting my experience as well as helpful professional resources and tips I found online in seeking meaningful relationships and connections, and I am here to share them with you so that you are not alone in cruising through this journey called life that may seem like a lonely path.

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Why Do Guys On Dating Apps Want Your Number?

So, let’s uncover the top five reasons why guys on dating apps want your number especially immediately right after matching with you without even putting in the effort to get to know you on the app first.

1) They Don’t Have The Dating Skills

A lot of men on dating apps do not have the dating skills that are required to converse with women and understand women’s psychology when it comes to courtship and why courtship is important in the process of dating.

Whether it is men or women, it is important not to rush through the process of getting to know someone and let the conversation flow organically in order to have an organic relationship that does not feel forced or rushed through. 

You are on the app in order to find potential matches, and a lot of dating apps right now have functions in-app that allow you to video call and voice call people without having to even leave the app at all.

There are even dating prompts and questions suggested in the app in order to help you through the ice-breaking process, which will not be available if you move out of the dating app and start calling each other.

These are crucial features of dating apps that have been developed after careful evaluation of how people want to feel safe on dating apps and also have better conversations and meet better matches.

Imagine going to a bar, and meeting someone and saying “Hi, can I have your number?”  Wouldn’t it be very abrupt and an instant turn-off for those involved in the conversation? You would of course want to have conversations with them before actually deciding if you want to give them your number even if it is a face-to-face conversation.

Guys who ask you your number immediately on dating apps think that they are taking the initiative in order to get to know you better but fail to understand that they should improve their communication skills when it comes to dating.

2) They Don’t Put In Enough Effort To Get To Know You

You may think that guys who ask for your number on dating apps actually want to get to know you and therefore it is counterintuitive to say that they are not putting enough effort into getting to know you.

In mind that if a guy genuinely wants to get to know you, he would have considered spending enough time on the app itself asking you basic questions like right you’re from, what your interests are, and what brought you to the app. They would definitely be vetting through their matches if they are concerned about dating intentionally.

Because people on dating apps are there to actually get to know people to see if they have the initial interests to further date them in person. It is like a screening process for dating where you are trying to gauge if you like them.

Why give them your number when you know that this is not the candidate that you would want to call for an interview after reviewing their resume?

3) They Want Easy Access To You

The other reason why they want to have your number immediately is because they are simply feeling too lazy to put in enough effort to get to know you on the dating app itself. We all know that most dating apps require you to turn on your location in order to use them.

A lot of people also do not turn on notifications on dating apps fearing that this would distract them especially when they are at work. Therefore, people do not tend to check reading apps as often as they check WhatsApp or social media accounts.

They want to be able to text you or even call you whenever they want and they expect instant replies from you. This is especially true if this guy is just interested in booty calls and nothing more than that.

If you start giving out numbers to everyone that you come across on dating apps, you will end up receiving texts like “Hey, what’s up” – after 6 months guys ghost you.

4) They Are Wishy-Washy Guys

Why do guys on dating apps want your number? It is also because they want to appear genuine by asking numbers or giving numbers before you start asking them their intention. 

I am sure you have come across a lot of Wishy Washy guys who just once want something casual but they are reluctant to make that known to the girls that they are dating because they are afraid of judgment. They quickly ask for your number to give you the impression that they are genuine and honest.

Right before you can strike up a conversation with them about their intentions being on the dating apps, they confuse you with their fake personalities and behaviors so that you would give your number.

Usually, they would start calling you and maybe playing along, leading you to where you would think that they are looking for something serious, only for you to discover later that it is not the case.

5) They Are Impatient and Want To Arrive To Conclusions Fast

One more reason why guys want your number immediately after matching with you on dating apps is because they are impatient and they want to arrive at a conclusion immediately. This is usually a trait that you can see in men who are frustrated dating online.

It is a known fact that a lot of women are slow in replying to text messages on dating apps and men usually get frustrated when they do not get a reply promptly. Therefore, in order to make sure that they have your attention, they give out the numbers first or ask for your number and why you are still online and active on the dating app.

If you look at it carefully, this is also a trait of people who want to skip the process of getting to know because they are just too tired of going through the process all over again with someone new. They just want to quickly have a rapid-fire session with you where they could ask you all the questions they would want to ask in a day.

This is also the case where people could be blowing things hot and cold because, in one instance, you feel that you are accelerating the connection with this person and you feel that there is chemistry with them when actually it is not real chemistry or bonding that you think it is.

This type of person is also prone to love bombing and then ghosting you, because once they feel that the spark is gone, they would rapidly slow down and the conversation would fizzle away, leaving you confused.

When Should You Give Your Number To Your Dates?

1) After Your First Date

It is actually best to give your number after your first date. This is because you have a lot of tasks right before you go on the first date. You might want to connect with them through video calls in the app itself or even do a voice call if they are not very comfortable with it.

This is to see if you have the initial level of interest in them before you decide if you want to meet them.

What happens if you want to set a date with them and you may think that you want to share your number with them to be able to check in when you are meeting them? Well, you can actually do that in the app itself and let them know that the communication will be primarily through the app until you meet them in person.

2) After You Have Spoken On The App

If you have spoken to them on the app and you have had substantial conversations with them, you think that they are cute and funny and you are really comfortable with them, you can choose to switch the conversation to WhatsApp.

There is actually no one-size-fits-all solution when it comes to knowing when to share your number with your dating app matches, but listening to your intuition will actually help you decide if you are ready to share your number with them.

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My Experience

I have ended up sharing numbers way too many times with people that I come across on dating apps, and deleting numbers right after a few days of connecting with them is one of the most frustrating experiences ever when it comes to online dating.

Therefore, I practice discernment when it comes to sharing my number because I do not want people to misuse it because you wouldn’t know if you are talking to a scammer after all.


Should you give your number out on dating apps?

Dating apps have actually evolved quite a bit where they have listened to the user’s feedback and introduced a lot of features that allow you to call and video call matches online. If you do want to continue the conversation beyond the app or website you met someone on, use a second phone number for your safety if you are not comfortable giving out your primary number.

When a guy asks for your number online?

They are trying to try and secure a relationship most likely for convenience. The exact reason why a guy asks for your number online would not be until and unless you ask for their intention. Even then, it would take a few days or weeks to study their characteristics and behavior before you could conclude the intention.

Why do fake dating profiles want your phone number?

They want to harass you, steal your identity, or access your online accounts. Therefore, it is extremely important to be careful when you are dating online because there are a lot of love scams going on and people who are emotionally vulnerable become victims of online scams. Try to video call them first before you share your phone number with them.

Why do so many guys ask for my number?

It means he is interested. The exact reason why someone is interested in having your number can be hard to conclude unless you start getting to know them. Therefore, it is wiser to let the man wait for a while and see if he is comfortable waiting to have your number because it means that he is patient enough to respect your boundaries and feelings.

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