My Rare 10 Rules Of Dating You Won’t Find Anywhere Else

What’s with the rare 10 rules of Dating? You might have heard of so many dating rules out there like the red flags and green flags in relationships, and probably even the 12-date rule by famous dating coach and matchmaker, Matchmaker Maria. 

But then again, so many dos and don’ts that we tend to rigidly follow at the end of the day without even knowing if the rules fit our lives perfectly. What can you expect a dating Guru to teach you about dating if he or she comes from a different culture altogether?

What can a therapist probably suggest to you if he or she does not know what is running at the top of your mind like the fear of being alone because you literally do not have anyone to talk to and share your life with? 

How can you even take advice from people who tell you that you’re not supposed to settle for less but they have made some compromises when it comes to choosing their life partner and they do not emphasize that enough to people? 

If you have friends who predominantly dated before dating apps were a thing, what can you expect from them when you turn to them for advice because they are not going to know anything about dating apps and the current dating scenario?

My Experience

Whether it is the 10 rules of dating or the standard green and red flags in relationships, I have tried to rigidly follow the dating rules from Instagram pages by dating gurus because I was afraid of making the wrong move, and one of the make sure that I am not making any mistakes when I’m dating. 

However, from my experience dating since 2017, the only thing that I have begun to notice is that intuition coaching is really important when it comes to identifying what fits us and what doesn’t in love life.

It is you ultimately that has the greatest power over your life and you have the answer to all your questions whether you believe it or not. This is because everyone’s part is very unique and nobody can guarantee that you will succeed in your love life because predicting the future is a risky job. 

You may stumble along the way when you are trying to hone your intuition to give you the right piece of information every time you are out there dating different kinds of people. However, with time, you will gather enough information to make sense of it and you will soon be able to identify what path you are supposed to walk in your dating life. 

Imagine women who become single parents by choice through donor sperms – can you imagine how many people have done this before in their lives and how difficult it would have been for them to even decide if this is what they wanted?

Similarly, although we tend to think that a lot of people struggle with finding their love of life, we can only take inspiration from the stories of others but nobody can exactly choose which part we are supposed to walk on.

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What Is The Purpose Of Dating?

So, what is the entire purpose of Dating? The process of dating goes to show the importance of courtship. This is the phase where people try to understand bits and pieces of each other’s lives and try to put their best foot forward by impressing each other and also try to stay true to themselves by being vulnerable.

People tend to flirt a little bit and try to give each other a preview of who they are if they were to be in a relationship. Based on the information presented by people, within about three months, a couple would typically decide if they would want to enter into a relationship or stop dating.

Why Am I Advising You?

So why my advising you when I am saying that you should be following your intuition and not listen to anyone much when it comes to dating? This is because I’ve been seeing a lot of Dating gurus out there on Instagram especially people who are keen to document they are love lives claiming to be successful in what they are doing and downplaying the experiences of others. 

So, I’m here to present to you the 10 rules of dating that will help you to tune into your intuition and find your answers.

Rare 10 Rules Of Dating?

1. Nobody Knows The Answer – So, Follow Your Heart

So, you’re not sure if you’re supposed to be dating this guy that you saw at your local library because he seems to be not your type but you also feel bad for not giving him a chance. Therefore, you turn to your friend for advice and you would want her to tell you what to do. 

However, nobody knows the answer. Nobody can tell you what will happen if you date a guy and what will happen if you choose not to date a guy. The best advice people could give you is that if you are not sure if you should date him, it is a good enough indicator that you should give him a chance. 

Because, if it is not a clear no, then there is a slight chance that you can still see if things would work out between the both of you.

The other thing to look into is your mental health because are you really in the right frame of mind to be dating? These factors that lead to ambiguity in your dating life are only known to you. Therefore, only you know the answer to a lot of things that you are seeking answers for.

Your friends, family members, or even therapists will not know exactly why your body is reacting in a certain way when it comes to dating. You have to dig deeper and go with your heart when it comes to making decisions.

2. Listen To Others But Filters Their Opinions

Your friend may think that the guy that you’re dating looks like a crook but only you know how this guy makes you feel and if he is different from the other jerks that you have met before. 

It is true to an extent that our family members and friends can identify if someone is right or not for us but we have to listen to others and filter their opinions. 

The more you seek the opinions of others, the more it shows that you’re not confident about your gut feelings.

3. Never Try To Copy Someone’s Path

You’ve probably never heard of this in any of the 10 rules of dating that you have read before. A lot of us see people who have been successful in relationships and therefore try to emulate their path to success. We try to do everything that they have done in the past. 

We ask them everything that had happened in their relationship to see how we can put the step-by-step in our journey as well. Well, it’s not entirely wrong but things like even careers are not something black and white. 

You may not be able to exactly copy your into success because times are changing, people are changing and therefore there will be a lot of factors contributing to different experiences that you would be facing as compared to the people before you.

You possibly can’t follow the advice of your parents when it comes to love because their generations made a lot of sacrifices and lived together even if they had a lot of differences. 

You also possibly can ask about what it feels like to be in an arranged marriage when all your friends have picked their partners on their own or even dated for many years before getting married. If you decide to get married to someone within a few months or a year of getting to know each other, your part is going to be different than that of your friends.

4. You Can Choose Not To Have a Dating Goal, But…

This is also an unpopular opinion because people always say that you need to have a dating goal but you can choose not to have a dating goal, but… you should also make that clear to the people that you’re dating. 

Imagine us back in our 20s, we probably will have dated a lot and we got into relationships without even talking about getting married or settling down. That’s largely because we do not have any plan shortly and therefore we date without any goals. 

However, in your 30s, you probably have goals and you do not want to spend a lot of time dating the wrong person. If this is the case, you should make your dating goal clear. 

If you are nearly separated and you need some time for yourself before you can even think about getting into a serious relationship with a dating goal, that is also not wrong. You should make that clear to the people that you’re dating. 

Because, for a lot of people, it takes a few dates and some time for them to gauge what they want in their dating life and not knowing what they want initially is not a red flag if they make it known.

5. Don’t Look For Certainty

If you are dating with a mindset of wanting some level of certainty and control over your dating life, this is going to be extremely detrimental to you because you cannot look for certainty when it comes to dating and relationships.

Someone may seem like the most confident person that you have ever met and the best match that you could dream of in this lifetime but they could also let you down three months down the road. 

You could step into a relationship thinking that it is going to be leading to marriage soon only to realize that you both are not compatible two months before your marriage. 

You could even be happy in a relationship and five years or 10 years down the road you find that the both of you have transformed into a different person completely and you both are now not compatible with each other.

You can do some damage control by identifying if you have similar goals in life but you can only control so much so just ask yourself if you’re like this person today for who he is because most likely his gonna remain the same and that’s what matters the most.

6. Be Fearless About Dating Out Of Your Usual Pattern

Whether you have dated a lot or not in the past, you tend to imagine the kind of person that you want to have in your life. This could be standing from the picture-perfect characters from movies and inspiration from real lives. 

However, a lot of us don’t even know what we want in a person until and unless we have dated a lot of people and gathered some level of data about our dating preferences.

For example, I used to think that I needed someone as successful as me because an average bloke who worked nine to five would never understand the demands of being an entrepreneur. While this is true to some extent, I’ve also seen guys who are successful but behave like an a******. 

Then, I realized that characteristics have nothing really to do with personality or even what you do in life. So, the first thing I look for in people is the fact that I can talk to them comfortably regardless of what they do and who they are.

7. Stop Obsessing Over “Compatibility”

This is also probably an unpopular opinion because I’ve had a bitter experience of dating a guy who was trying to match every single aspect that he had on his dating list. That is from trying to understand what time I wake up every day and what time I go to bed every day. On top of that, he also expected me to finish work around the same time and to be doing the same activities because apparently, that is the time he would get to bond with his partner. 

While it is true to some extent that you should be doing the same activities together quality time matters and that actually gave me an ick, and needless to say, I did not see him again. 

You can have a long list of dating compatibility and you can check off all of them with someone and still feel empty deep inside. You may have never played video games in your life but if you meet someone who is obsessed with playing video games, maybe one day you will be able to blend in and see what it is all about. 

Maybe you love hiking but your partner has never hiked in his life before and maybe he would pick up this activity after being in a relationship with you.

8. Plan To Spend Quality Time

You can spend all day long dating but you still wouldn’t know anything about your partner unless you have some strategies in place when you’re dating. You should be asking smart questions and trying to gauge people, not judging them but trying to be observant to make sense of who they are. 

For this to happen, you need to spend quality time together and get into the practice of asking more questions because the person who asks more questions would ultimately have power over the conversation. 

Also, asking a lot of direct questions may not give you the answer that you are looking for. If you were to ask people if they’ve been in a lot of relationships before this, they may not tend to tell you the truth.

But if you are talking about crazy experiences you’ve had with other people that you have dated before, they probably would also open up and tell you a lot of what they have experienced in the past without you needing to ask the question directly.

9. Be Curious About People

Being curious is extremely important in dating because it is very unlikely that you would understand someone just in a few dates. Being curious about people to learn how they think and what they truly are is an art in itself I would say because it takes a lot of practice to hone this skill. 

Why people do what they do and how they think are all related to what they have experienced in the past. Therefore holding some grace and space for them to just be themselves will be helpful in your dating journey.

10. Learn From Your Own Mistakes

You may want to speed up your dating journey by learning from other people’s mistakes but you should also remember that your experiences ultimately teach you the best in life. Therefore, you should be going on a lot of dates and trying to date people who are not your type to see what fits and what doesn’t.

FAQs

What is the 10 rule in dating?

Based on research, it is said that a man is most likely to be in a relationship with a woman that he has gone out on 10 dates at least. These dating sessions are serious and intense whereby two people are getting to know each other to see the possibilities of getting into a relationship. So, if a man is dating you seriously and he has seen you 10 times at least, he is most likely to propose to you to become his girlfriend or wife.

What is the rule 7 dating?

The rule seven dating basically refers to the “half-your-age-plus-seven” rule. A generally refers to the age differences that I acceptable in a society. So, if you’re dating someone who is younger than half your age plus seven years, he or she is too young for you.

What is the 10 minute rule in dating?

According to researchers, the first 10 minutes of your interaction with someone in dating would determine how the rest of the conversation and even your day goes. You should spend the first 10 minutes being positive, cheerful, optimistic, and loving so that you can keep the momentum going throughout your conversation.

What are the 5 C’s of dating?

The 5Cs in dating are communication, compatibility, commitment, care, and compromise. When all five are present, people are reported to have a happier and more outstanding relationship with less chance of breaking up.