12 Types of Intimacy To Focus On When Dating

With so many types of intimacies around, have you ever wondered what are the 12 types of intimacy to focus on when you are dating? 

Or even, which type of intimacy should come first and what are their orders of importance in the process of dating?

While it is difficult to expect our partner to fill the role of a best friend, husband, lover, protector, and many more for women, certain types of intimacy definitely have more importance in a relationship.

Let’s unravel what they are and how important (or not) each one of them is in a relationship.

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My Experience

As a highly independent person, I require attention in terms of a partner who is a great listener and the space for me to express myself whether it is something that I have not shared with another person before or vulnerability in terms of my emotions and my thoughts, which includes intelligent conversation.

Spiritual recreational and aesthetic intimacy can be found among co-workers, people that you go to yoga classes with, and those who enjoy doing similar activities with you at the park.

Apart from that, communication, trust, and mutual respect are some of the fundamental types of intimacies that everyone should act in their relationship. Because, without trust in communication the rest of the types of intimacies cannot be achieved. Focusing on soulmate love affirmations will help us inch closer to the relationship we desire instead of lamenting “no one wants to date me“.

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12 Types of Intimacy To Focus When Dating – In The Order Of Process & Importance

Instead of just stating what the 12 types of intimacy are, it would be interesting to look at it in terms of the dating process and how these intimacies come into the picture as the dating process progresses from one phase to another.

1. Communication

So, you have matched with someone on a dating app and you both have started communicating on the app. What happens next would very much depend on both of your communication skills. It takes two to tango. So both of you need to be good at communicating, or at least find the groove in communicating so that the two of you feel comfortable enough to take it to another level which is to set up a date and continue communicating from there.

So, it is a no-brainer that communication intimacy is the one that comes first in any type of relationship because you cannot be forcing conversation in a relationship if someone doesn’t know how to communicate with you.

2. Mutual respect

So you both have decided to go on a date on a Friday night and the two of you are very excited about it. Until one of you cannot make it and needs to raincheck on the other. What happens here is the way that you decide to communicate the change in plan with your potential date, which would determine the level of mutual respect that you have on your date. 

Even if you’re going on a date, instead of complimenting your sweet demeanor, you wouldn’t like it if a guy were to say that, you know, you are looking f****** hot. You wouldn’t choose a guy who has no respect for you. And obviously, you would not want to meet him again.

3. Trust

So, you’ve gone on a few dates with this guy and you really like spending time with him and he expresses openly that he likes spending time with you. What happens here is that you develop the third type of intimacy which is trust intimacy. You trust each other to an extent at this point in time to communicate openly and in a transparent manner in anticipation of progressing this date further.

Without a certain level of trust, no relationship would progress to the next stage.

4. Emotional Intimacy

When it comes to relationships, among the 12 types of intimacy, emotional intimacy is extremely important to bring two people together. This is especially true for women because women need to feel emotionally secure before they can get vulnerable with the guy that they are dating and trust them enough to have physical intimacy with him.

For men, when emotional intimacy is established, they start to fall in love with the women. If you are receiving flowers unexpectedly, this is definitely a sign that a guy has started liking you and has started opening up with you, being vulnerable, and having emotional intimacy with you.

5. Vulnerability

During the early stage of dating, it can be difficult for people to be vulnerable because it would sound like they are emotional dumping. However, as two people start getting to know each other further, they should be able to be vulnerable with their emotions, sharing their sorrows and troubles with each other, showing that they trust their partner enough to cry, to explain their deepest fears, and things like that.

6. Intimate relationship

An intimate relationship is definitely a crucial part of a romantic relationship because this aspect is not found in any other forms of relationships like platonic friendship, and the relationship that you have with your coworkers (unless one decides to have an affair 🤷🏽‍♀️).

From communication skills to trust, a lot of other forms of intimacy are required when forming intimate relationships. Physical intimacy connects to people very deeply and our bodies release hormones to further tell our brain that we like our partner.

7. Human sexuality

The ability to express your thoughts, deepest desires, and fantasies, especially when it comes to human sexuality can help partners understand each other very much and also avoid people having affairs because two people have the freedom to explore things together.

It may not necessarily be an exploration in terms of physical intimacy, but also in terms of thoughts, in sharing laughter, like the ability to keep things spicy and interesting using simple things like kinky memes that you can send your partner during the day.

8. Commitment

So two people have been together for quite some time and have shared their aspirations, and dreams and spent enough time to get to know each other. Now, they are committing to spend life with each other.

This is usually the type of intimacy that is required to see a relationship and to make it official. A lot of people make it official by legally getting married to their partner. 

Nevertheless, commitment is still a subjective form of intimacy because we all know that just because two people are legally married, they are obligated to be loyal to each other or even be committed to each other in terms of fulfilling each other’s needs.

9. Crisis

Perhaps this could be one of the 12 types of intimacy that are less heard of but are essential in any relationship. Crisis management is very important for a couple because until and unless two people have resolved arguments and seen each other being angry, they will not know if a relationship will work or not. 

This is not to say that you need to wait until you both pick a fight with each other to see if you can tolerate each other. Life is not an audition. However, people come together and they become closer after they successfully overcome a crisis.

10. Spirituality

For a lot of people, religious beliefs are very important when it comes to forming a relationship. However, since we are living in a modern era, people have a high tolerance towards differences in religious beliefs.

Spirituality essentially refers to how we anchor ourselves to a higher power. Some people may choose to meditate and anchor themselves to the higher power. Some people may choose to get involved in religious activities.

This very much depends on the couples and what they decide to do to find a sense of spirituality, in my opinion.

11. Recreational

Recreational intimacy refers to the ability to share new experiences together like hobbies and common interests. However, this type of intimacy can also be shared in large with a group of community-like people you meet at your yoga class.

So, if you don’t really have the exact same activities that you like to do with your partner, fret not, because you can always do the things that you like with your group of girlfriends and this would also help to strengthen your bond with other people in your life.

12. Aesthetic

Do you like traveling? If so, it is natural for you to expect a partner that likes to travel. However, this can also be fulfilled by going on vacation with travel partners. 

Aesthetic intimacy refers to the ability to enjoy music, dance, and nature in general. This is somewhat important for people because arts and music can actually bring people together. This is the reason why people who listen to the same type of music or even have interests in social dancing, can actually come together and have a greater bond.

FAQs

What is the highest form of intimacy?

Trust is ultimately the highest form of intimacy because when trust is broken, we all know that we go through an excruciating level of heartbreak because trust requires a lot of courage and vulnerability to be formed in the first place. 

What is the deepest intimacy?

Emotional intimacy is ultimately the deepest form of intimacy that one could form with another person because it takes a lot of trust to build emotional intimacy with others. This is especially true for men because men take a lot of time to express their emotions.

How many types of intimacy are there?

There are 12 types of intimacy but 5 of them are important. They are emotional, intimate relationships, trust, communication, and mutual respect, in a romantic relationship.

What is aesthetic intimacy?

Aesthetic intimacy happens when you share the experiences of going through new things like exploring arts, literature, music, nature, and culinary together. 

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