No One Wants To Date Me: 3 Only Possible Bitter Reasons Why

Forget about the 21 reasons why “no one wants to date me”! There are only three reasons, probably bitter, why nobody wants to date a person. 

You could be a guy on the dating apps not getting enough matches and thinking that no one wants to date me. Or a woman on dating apps getting matches but not ending up with dates.

I hope that the consolidated three top reasons why people do not get on dates will help you to streamline your dating process and go on dates with people.

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I’m Jasveena and I have been blogging since 2013, documenting my experience as well as helpful professional resources and tips I found online in seeking meaningful relationships and connections, and I am here to share them with you so that you are not alone in cruising through this journey called life that may seem like a lonely path.

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My Experience

I used to think that no one wanted to date me until I got on dating apps many years ago. I have to say that I used to have hundreds of matches at one point in time on Tinder but I hardly go on dates.

Well, part of it is of course the crappy apps but if you look deeper than that, there are a lot of reasons why people are not getting enough chances to go on quality dates. 

I realized that the hundreds of matches meant nothing when I was not dating with intention. I was just swiping for the sake of swiping and of course, along the process, I swiped many arseholes.

Well, we all learn the hard ways sometimes, but let me help you with what I’ve gathered so far.

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No One Wants To Date Me: 3 Only Possible Bitter Reasons Why 

  1. You’re Not Strategically Putting Yourself In The Right Place

You complain that “no one wants to date me” but you’re not strategically putting yourself in the right place.

Some people just don’t socialize much and do not take enough to date, like getting on dating apps. This is especially true for introverts as they tend to be alone. So, how would you meet people?

When there are so few chances for single people out there to meet other single people organically in a social setting, it is faster to meet someone on the app. 

However, for those who abhor the apps, how many of you have been to restaurants and bars over the weekend just to miraculously bump into your life partner? I know it is ridiculous to expect something instantaneous through an organic relationship that can be formed in a social setting.

A lot of us have forgotten the fact that we do have friends and family members who could help us find or even introduce someone single to us. Usually, single people do not talk about their relationship status to others and therefore they do not get sufficient referrals from family and friends.

In a nutshell, just like how you would strategically apply for job interviews, you should ask yourself what qualities you expect in a life partner why do they hang out and what do they do?

It’s more like a customer persona that you create for your business. This is to understand your potential partner’s psychology make a better estimation of where they would be found, and try to integrate into the setting naturally so that you could meet them. 

For example, if you are an entrepreneur, and you think that you would gel well with entrepreneurs, you should spend more time networking with entrepreneurs and people within that circle a lot to let people know about your existence, not just professionally but also personally.

  1. You Judge A Potential Date Too Fast 

Well, we all have been there. This happens to a lot of women as they tend to judge a potential date too fast and reject the invitation for a date. 

Sometimes, we must protect our energy and ensure that we go out on a date with a quality match. However, when we are extra careful when vetting our matches on dating apps or even when someone has introduced a potential partner to us, we tend to be very fearful of things going wrong. 

You would end up doing all those Jedi mind tricks and trying to conclude even before you meet the person. This is not too uncommon because we’ve had instances where we connect with people over phone calls and design that they are not for us in the first call itself.

It is not bad to listen to our intuition and it is not bad to and a conversation after the first phone call. However, if you end up not getting any dates, you may want to look into this to see if you’ve been a little bit too aggressive.

  1. You Have an Anxious Avoidant Attachment Dating Style and Are Going After Emotionally Unavailable Guys

You complain that “no one wants to date me” because you go after emotionally unavailable guys, thinking that they are the perfect ones for you.

You need to go on dates with someone that you like and also someone that likes you back. However, when you are hung up on guys that only you like, you are not gonna go anywhere because they are emotionally unavailable, or perhaps they may not even like you. You have to take the rejection gracefully.

On the other hand, when someone likes you, you tend to be anxious and avoidant, and you think that they are boring. Therefore, you end up not going on dates with them and you become very dismissive. 

There you go, that is the reason why you are always complaining “no one wants to date me”!

I’m not saying that you should go out with people that you do not like. However, you have to heal yourself and understand why you are getting attracted to people who do not like you back. At the same time, you should look into your interpersonal skills and your personality to see if they match the expectations of your ideal partner. 

You can’t expect to date an entrepreneur who is rich and takes care of himself, has a healthy lifestyle, and speaks very interestingly, if you are not taking care of yourself enough if you are not in the growth mindset and you do not know how to manage your emotions well.

You need to have a realistic set of standards and expectations in relationships.

How To Get Quality Dates?

  1. Date With Intention

If you are not dating with intention, you will end up going on dates with those who are not on the same page as you. Make sure that your intention is set forth when you are talking to potential dates, by trying to gauge their intention and also letting them know what your expectations are so that you don’t end up wasting time going on dates with people who do not want what you want.

  1. Spend Time Screening Them First

If you’re on dating apps, utilize the video call functions to e-meet them first and try to see if they are a real person.

I know people talk about the vibes, the importance of body language, and things like that. However, even business meetings are being held online, and I think that we should not undermine the importance of telephone conversations and even video calls.

  1. Don’t Display Photos That Send The Wrong Signal

If you are looking for a long-term partner on dating apps, do not display overly sexy photos of yourself in an attempt to attract men because sometimes this could send them the wrong signal. 

Make sure that your dating profile does not give away too much information, but also stays relevant and interesting for people to swipe right on you and start a conversation with you so that they can learn more about you.

  1. Don’t Give Any Tom, Dick, and Harry A Chance

So, the reason why you should screen people properly before you go on a date is to avoid people wasting your energy and time. The more time you take to get to know someone before you meet them face-to-face, you will be able to gauge their intention and also see if you are interested in meeting them in real life.

If you are desperate for a date and you accept an invitation from just about anyone, you will end up going on dates with random Tom, Dick, and Harry who would end up hurting you and wasting your emotional energy. Love is reciprocal, even in dating.

Facts About Dating 

“No one wants to date me”. That’s what you think about yourself. However, a lot of people are just like you, not getting enough matches, not getting enough challenges to meet single people, and just wondering how to meet their life partners.

So, if you were to think of it from this perspective, you will feel less lonely and understand that people have various expectations of their life partner and things are not as simple as they were in the past during our parents’ and grandparents’ era.

So, you’re not alone! Sending you hugs.

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FAQs

Is there something wrong with me if no one wants to date me?

Being single does not indicate you’re flawed, and it goes to show that you have not met quality potential partners yet for you to go on a date. It does not indicate your worthiness to receive love and there is nothing wrong with you. 

How do you deal with no one wanting to date you?

It can be very challenging when you are desperately trying to date but nobody is there to date you. If you are overly focused on dating and relationships, it may drain your energy. Therefore, you should focus your energy on family and friends, and rejuvenating these relationships so that you do not feel lonely in life.

How do you accept that no one wants you?

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love. I know that it can be extremely hard to accept the fact that at this point, nobody wants to date you, but you have to remember that you should not tie your worthiness with your relationship status. Practice journaling and reading out loud positive affirmations to enhance your self-confidence and also do not forget to indulge yourself in self-love and activities that fill your soul with joy.

Why would no one date me?

This could be because you have unrealistic expectations, making people think that they may not be able to fulfill your needs. You could also be running after emotionally unavailable people and have anxious avoidance and attachment style, which hinder you from receiving love from people.

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