Dating Someone In Another Country: Tips To Overcome 3 Top Issues

Dating someone in another country can be very challenging but we all know that it is still doable and there are a lot of people who have fallen in love with people while living in different countries. It may seem like a fairytale and for some people, it may seem impossible because of the physical distance between two people.

However, if you are on dating apps, and you are open to dating someone who is currently living in another city or even country, and if you’re wondering how to navigate the difficulties that come with a long-distance relationship, you may look into the top three challenges first in order to understand the dynamics of long-distance dating.

Should you date someone from another country? Should you let your gut feelings guide you or should you be very cautious and calculative when it comes to love and relationships? Let’s unravel the myths and also some of the challenges in long-distance dating.

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I’m Jasveena and I have been blogging since 2013, documenting my experience as well as helpful professional resources and tips I found online in seeking meaningful relationships and connections, and I am here to share them with you so that you are not alone in cruising through this journey called life that may seem like a lonely path.

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My Experience

During the pandemic, I was connected with a guy through my family members and this guy was living in Australia back then. I am in Malaysia. This person happened to be my friend’s cousin, and I felt a little bit comfortable moving ahead and getting to know this person because of that fact. However, because of the pandemic, travel was not really possible at that point in time. I think we were sort of towards the end of the pandemic where travel seemed possible only in the next six months. 

I have always been an advocate of doing zero dates by filtering matches on video calls especially if people matched on dating apps. Honestly speaking, I became more confident in filtering people virtually during the pandemic, because we were all forced to date the new way, which is to date virtually. There were a lot of studies on dating through apps that were carried out at that point in time when everyone was stuck at home, and some studies have shown that people, were more mindful about who they were talking to and they were ready to spend more time to get to know a person rather than just swiping around.

So, what I did was share a little bit of my experience with this guy on how we can navigate things further since we probably cannot meet in the nearest time. I thought that having consistent communication through phone calls or even video calls is going to be really helpful in first identifying if we are a good match even before we think about meeting in person. This is also made a little bit more challenging due to the time zone differences that we had between us. This goes to show that dating someone in another country requires commitment and consistency. 

However, probably the guy was not really sure what he was getting himself into with this matchmaking arrangement and I felt that I was initiating more conversation in order to get to know him he was quite silent and there were days I did not hear from him come on which was kind of weird for me because phone conversation and vehicles are the only ways that we can communicate anyway. Seeing this pattern, I had to have an open talk with them to see if he was actually open to getting to know me or if he was feeling a little bit weird, and I decided that things were not going to move in the right direction considering the distance and also considering his reluctance to communicate.

On the other hand, I connected with someone living in the US via a dating app called FilterOff. The time zone difference was crazy, but we somehow made it work because we had like at least around 12 hours of difference in time zone, and if it was morning for me it was going to be the night for him and it wasn’t too bad in finding a suitable time for us to communicate. However, this person was really honest and genuine and wanted to get to know me to the extent that he even wanted to fly to where I am to meet me even though we were still at the final leg of the pandemic. Communication was great and I didn’t feel uncomfortable or fishy about this person as long as we were in touch with each other. However, due to preferences in having pets and certain lifestyles, I had to call it off thinking that I do not want to waste someone’s time and money that he’s gonna invest in trying to meet me and make things work.

So, it goes to show that dating someone in another country is definitely possible considering the fact that people have done it in the past and there are people still doing long-distance dating and getting married. It may seem like a fairytale connection and maybe some of us can be skeptical of it, however, this is something that is still happening in this world.

It ultimately depends on whether or not people believe in magical connection and if we are going to be too rigid and look into red flags and green flags in relationships, and follow dating rules very stringently, things may seem impossible for us. Some level of intuition coaching is required for us to trust ourselves and people in this world, and we can only trust our gut feelings better with experiences. The more we date, the better we become in selecting people.

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Online Dating and Global Passports

Online dating and global passports are something that was really booming during the pandemic because dating apps like Tinder and Bumble were giving free access to the premium features and people were able to date those from different parts of the world.

I believe this was how a lot of us were exposed to dating someone in another country, and these features are still available for free on dating apps like OkCupid. If you are a premium user on Kinder and Bumble, I believe that you will be given access to match with people from different countries if you are bored of whoever you keep seeing in your own city. He is a great feature because a lot of us who are living in a big country may not have enough people to match in the first place. Therefore, having the flexibility to find dates from series that are not so far away can open up a huge possibility of meeting the right person

Dating Someone In Another Country: Tips To Overcome 3 Top Challenges

So let’s look at the top three challenges when dating someone in another country and how we possibly can overcome these challenges to create meaningful connections despite the distance and what seems impossible for most of us.

  1. Building Real Connection

Building real connections can be a challenge because people will always be afraid of the authenticity of the person that they are talking to and if this person is actually married or cheating on us, or even cheating on their own spouse.

However, what you can do is leverage the power of technology by screening them via video calls and having consistent communication via video calls to eliminate doubts about the authenticity of this person. If he’s willing to video call at home, do a virtual home tour, video call from his workplace when he’s free, and include you in his life, it can be a good place to start in building connections.

People always argue saying that online connection is not a real connection. However, during the pandemic, the entire world was powered by technology and we were all connected through technology. Even job screening and interviews will help through video calls. So, what makes you think you can’t filter people through video calls? Or saying that a virtual connection is not a legitimate connection?

  1. Doing Background Checks

This one can be a little bit hard especially if the two of you do not have any mutual friends. It can be a little bit scary because you are a total stranger to each other and trust can be an issue especially when it comes to designing something big like selecting a life partner. People find it easier to establish trust with those whom they can meet in person regularly.

However, what you can do is to increase transparency about your life by adding them to your social media accounts, and basically just be open about who your friends and family members are.

If you were to think about it, even if you were to date someone in person, if you are comfortable with them and they have shared their social media account, and you don’t think that you see any red flags in them, you will have the tendency to just trust them for who they are. How many of us have actually heard stories of our friends’ spouses cheating on them even after years of marriage?

I think the steps required to establish trust or even do background checks on people are the same regardless of whether they stay near us or if they are staying in another country. It’s just us human beings who tend to feel safer with familiar phases as compared to people who are not from our own culture and country.

  1. Willingness To Travel For Actual Dates  

Dating someone in another country can be really difficult when it comes to traveling to meet them in person. So, financial stability is the key to dating someone in another country. Even if someone is not super rich, the willingness to set aside funds to meet them in person is very crucial in long-distance dating.

This is something that you should communicate with your partner early on because there’s no point in having super good chemistry and there’s no point in liking them if you’re not able to meet them in person as soon as possible.

Are you guys going to meet halfway? Who is going to fund the trip? Is the guy willing to travel to meet the girl? Is she able to travel back to see him during the subsequent dates? You got to be comfortable traveling and you’ve got to discuss all this beforehand because if you’re not, then dating someone in another country is just going to be a pain in the ass for you.

What You Should Prioritize in Long-Distance Dating?

So, what are the key aspects that you should focus on in order to make your long-distance dating a successful one?

  1. Consistency

You really have to be consistent in communicating through phone calls and making an effort to check on them regularly as this is the only option that you have to connect with them. You will be facing challenges in terms of differences in time zone and may have to make sacrifices like waking up early or sleeping in late just to talk to this person.

  1. Transparency

If you have zero idea about this person and they come from a different culture, you will have to be very transparent about your life and this includes sharing your social media account, doing a virtual home tour, probably introducing your family and friends when you are video calling them in order to make sure that the both of you are comfortable with each other’s routine and life.

  1. Logistic Stuff – Setting Expectations Right

It’s not going to be a full-fledged relationship and connection if the both of you are not going to live under one roof. Therefore, it is very common to expect one of you to move in with the other and this involves Logistics arrangements and trying to figure out who’s going to move out to live with the other partner are you both going to take turns living in each other’s country?

Usually, when a couple has family members in different countries, it would be difficult to navigate through the preferences in wanting to keep in touch with both families. That being said, you need to understand that probably shifting and traveling and just moving around would be a norm in your relationship because of the circumstances.

Having open communication about this with your partner will help to set expectations right and also being in an open mindset will help you to navigate through unexpected challenges. If your family members require your attention and presence immediately in an emergency, you will have to travel and while this may be uncomfortable, you may be well prepared if you anticipate moments like this to arise.

  1. Bridging Cultural Differences

Dating someone in another country is also specifically difficult because bridging cultural differences can be a challenge for family members. This is especially true if you grew up in a family that was not really exposed to different cultures.

You have to think about ways to incorporate both cultures into your lives and also into the lives of your children from languages, festivals, religious beliefs and so many other things that could be difficult to navigate and explain to each one of your family members.

  1. Honesty and Genuine Interest

So many people actually marry for the wrong reasons especially when dating someone in another country as that is a general misconception that people date someone from another country in order to be able to live in a better country and obtain permanent residency status. This is especially true among foreign workers who migrate to work in another country and marry the locals for the perks they get from the government.

The rule for finding a life partner or love is very simple, it involves honesty and genuine interest in wanting to form a lifelong partnership. This is regardless of whether someone is living near us or is living in another country. 

Therefore, if at all you come in contact with someone from a different country and you have a love interest with this person, what you need to identify is to see if this person is genuine in wanting to marry you all is marrying you for the perks that come with it.

It can be difficult to identify the intention of someone especially if they are living far away, however, what we need to remember is that the biggest cheater in our life can be someone closest to us. What we need to do is to just trust our intuition and embrace The endless possibility that this universe can reward us and enjoy the goodness that is left in people rather than being skeptical.

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FAQs

Can you date someone out of the country?

You can date someone out of the country. Most people who live in different countries can’t date traditionally. Therefore, a lot of Dating rules may not apply to people who are dating from different countries because meeting virtually is the only option for many of them at least for the first few weeks that they come in touch with each other. 

Can overseas relationships work?

If physical touch is a mandatory aspect of your dating journey and If you definitely want to meet someone immediately after matching with them on dating apps, an overseas relationship may not work for you. However, if you are open to dating someone genuinely from a different country and you are patient enough to work through the distance by being transparent and honest as well as consistent in communicating with them, it can be as successful as any other relationship.

Can you fall in love with someone in another country?

You can definitely fall in love with someone from another country but you need to make a lot of sacrifices in order to stay together because you need to think about the logistics, who’s gonna move in with whom, and also think about the legalities of getting the two of you recognized as a couple.

How do you know if a guy from another country likes you?

  • He calls you and stays in touch with you.
  • He fits you into his schedule and makes you feel like he is next to you.
  • He wants to know what’s going on in your life and he becomes your biggest confidante.
  • He makes plans to meet you in person.
  • He does not doubt your sincerity and he does not doubt if you are cheating on him.
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