If you have landed on my blog after Googling he says he loves me but ignores me, first of all, I am feeling sorry for you for being in this confused state. Because why would someone who loves you say that he loves you but ignores you?
Your mind could be coming up with a thousand reasons like probably he is busy, probably he is stressed with work, maybe he has some other problems that he is not letting me know about because he does not want to bother me, and so on.
But let’s look at three reasons why you’re supposed to ditch this person right now and you should not allow yourself to be in a confused state anymore.
Hi, I’m Jasveena!
Blogging since 2013, I share tips and stories about navigating relationships and finding meaningful connections.
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My Experience
He says he loves me but ignores me! This has happened to me before, but not exactly in a relationship, but when I’m dating and when someone says that they are into me and they like me they continue ignoring me.
And after that, I will be wondering if I should give them more time if I should be more patient, and if I should wait until they are ready to propose to me for all these weird reasons, I have wasted so much of my time trying to give people chances that they certainly do not deserve.
One thing that you should remember is that it does not matter how much they love you or how much they like you, in a relationship, everyone has needs to be fulfilled, and therefore if your needs are not being fulfilled and you feel that you’re being taken for granted, that alone is a good reason for you to leave a relationship.
Because, if you think that they are stressed and have so many other problems going on that they need some space from you if they really value you, they will definitely let you know about it and they will not keep you waiting in confusion. It is all about how someone makes you feel and it is not so much about whether or not they have problems to deal with.
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What Happens When You Have Unmet Expectations In Relationships?
- You Have Disappointments
“He says he loves me but ignores me. Should I reduce my expectations of him?”
I’m sure you have encountered situations where your partner is not meeting your needs and you’re feeling very anxious about it because it is definitely making you unhappy. You will be very much disappointed with your partner because they have refused to meet your needs.
Let’s say communication is very important to you and you have made it clear to your partner that you want consistent communication, but your partner ghosts you when they are in a problem – it makes you feel very confused about where you stand in his life because you feel unheard and unseen about your emotions.
- You Have Confusions
You will feel very much confused about your partner and you will start wondering if your partner actually likes you or not. Is he losing interest or just stressed?
And because of this, you very much would be in a state of confusion because you wouldn’t know what to do and you wouldn’t know if it is the right thing to talk to them about it or if you are overthinking. That is a reason why you tend to Google for solutions and you tend to call up your friend and ask about what to do in this situation.
- You Stop Giving In A Relationship
When you have been a normal partner and you have been positively contributing towards the growth of this relationship and your needs have been constantly neglected by your partner, you will have the tendency to stop giving your all in this relationship. In other words, you will also become very selective of your energy and time and you will not have the heart to put in the effort to make things work in this relationship.
Why should I care about him or meet his needs when he is not reciprocating after all love is reciprocal. You will start caring less about this person, and if in the past you have been very caring and checking in on them from time to time every day, your text frequency would dwindle and you wouldn’t be thinking about them much on a daily basis.
- You Think Things May Not Work Anymore
What happens when your knees are not being mad? You wouldn’t be thinking that this relationship would last long. It is a sign that you’re giving up on this relationship possibly because you do not have the energy to make it work anymore.
Someone being ignored will feel very hurt deep inside and they would stop thinking that their partner will change because they have not seen change happening all these while. So, as a result, they would mentally be prepared for a breakup and they would emotionally detach themselves from their partner.
He Says He Loves Me But Ignores Me: 3 Signs To Ditch Him Now
- He Doesn’t Listen To Understand Your Needs
He says he loves me but ignores me. Have you ever seen couples who fight cats and dogs and after some time they hardly argue because they just cannot be bothered about each other anymore? This is because people argue and are the ones to make sure that they win the argument. People do not listen to their partner’s needs in order to fulfill them.
If your partner has been listening to you explaining what you need in a relationship but has not shown a change in his or her behavior commodities a sign that you should ditch this person right now because you will be finding yourself repeating this a thousand times and this person would never understand what you’re feeling deep inside because partly this is due to the “don’t care” attitude.
- He Takes You For Granted
And the “don’t care” attitude actually stems from the mindset that you are always going to be there and he can take you for granted because you’re not going to leave him. Therefore, if you feel like your partner is just taking you for granted and does not appreciate your presence or whatever that you have been sacrificing for him and doing for him, it is a good sign for you to ditch him right now.
- He Resorts To Love Bombing Then Ghosting
So, you complain to your partner about his behavior today and he resorts to love bombing. He is suddenly very loving towards you and he pays attention to your needs for a week. You think that this is going to improve and you are now in Wonderland, feeling in love all over again. However, after a week, he ghosts you and repeats his old pattern of ignoring you.
If a guy is just changing for the sake of changing and he is not sincere about correcting mistakes from his past, he is not going to miraculously change in the future and this is a sign you should ditch him.
Why Communication Style and Love Language Is Important?
- You Need to Talk In A Way That The Other Person Feel Most Seen
What if I say a lot of problems that we are facing in our relationship are actually because of miscommunication and also not understanding the love language that is important to our partner? You actually need to talk in a way that your partner feels most seen and heard.
So, if you have been shouting in an argument and this pisses off your partner, making him not listen to what you have to say, what you need to understand is to see what mode of communication works right with him.
- Mismatch In Giving And Receiving Love Can Strain Relationships
He says he loves me but ignores me. This could actually be because both of you have different love languages. If a man feels that he is happy just by being around you whereas you feel happy when he is listening to you speaking about something or sharing your emotions about what has happened at the workplace, this can create strain in a relationship because the border view love and quality time spent together in a different manner.
So, really, what you need to do is to really communicate what makes you happy and what makes you unhappy in a relationship at the right time to your partner and also listen to what your partner has to say if they are happy in a relationship with you or if you need to change something so that they feel seen and heard.
- Not All Arguments Are Detrimental If You Work On Communication
So, it is common to have arguments in relationships but not all arguments can be detrimental if you know how to work on your communication style and land on a mid-ground to make both parties happy.
Arguments generally arise because people are not happy in a relationship and they need to voice out the unmet expectations. However, if you learn how to listen to your partner not to argue back but to genuinely understand the pain point, you will learn how to communicate and come out with strategies in order to mend the relationship.
- Sustains Long-Term Relationships
Communication style and love languages are really important because they help to sustain long-term relationships. Without understanding what makes our partner happiest, we will never be able to make sure that they are feeling emotionally secure when they are with us. Not everyone loves open talk.
Some people need time to process their emotions silently before they can actually open up to you. Some people are very straightforward when they are not happy about something and they will tell it to your face. So, this very much depends on two people on how they communicate to each other about preferences in communication and whether or not the way that they communicate to you makes you feel hurt or makes you feel seen.
- Builds Trust and Intimacy
Having a deep understanding of communication style and also love languages helps to build trust and intimacy among partners because knowing how to send a message across to your partner is very important whether it is verbal or non-verbal because you know that your partner will be able to understand you even if you have a very complex problem to solve.
This is going to be a unique bond that you will develop with a partner because even if your partner is to find someone else just like you, it is going to be impossible to have a bond that both of you have had. This is where trust and intimacy are built and this is where you know you are laying the foundation for a long-term relationship.
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FAQs
Why would a man ignore you if he loves you?
A man could ignore you even if he loves you because he fears rejection. Men whose ego can be bruised by rejection and will not confess their love to you because of the fear of being rejected and they associate being rejected with their self-worth.
Can someone love you and still ignore you?
When someone loves you but ignores you, you’d be wondering “Is he shy or not interested?” and try to read signs he is waiting for you to make the first move. A person who lacks emotional maturity and communication skills can conceal love and ignore you.
Why do guys ignore the girl they love?
Guys ignore the girls they love because they do not have the emotional maturity to convey their feelings and also accept the fact that they might get rejected. Therefore, as an easy way out, although they love a girl, what they do is to completely ignore the girl in the whole so that the girl would notice the distance and approach them instead.
What to do if the man you love ignores you?
If a man you love ignores you, even if he says he loves you, what you need to do is to communicate your feelings to him. Explain that you’re feeling ignored and particularly point out what characteristic or behavior that you find disturbing. If he gives a valid reason for not being able to reciprocate your emotions and needs, you need to face the fact and understand that this person is not able to emotionally meet your needs. However, if he explains that he is in trouble and he needs time to figure things out, you both may decide on a timeline and you should give him some time in order for him to circle back to you.
