How To Set Someone Up On A Date: 5 Mistakes That Can Happen

If you are wondering how to set someone up on a date, you should be aware of the five things that may go wrong so that you can reevaluate your decision to set people up on a date. 

I’m not here to discourage you but perhaps, if you’re Googling this, you haven’t discussed this with either one of your friends you’re planning to set up. 

Introducing a friend to someone you think can be a good fit as a life partner is something commendable and encouraging. However, it could also turn into a bad experience if not handled well. 

As someone who tried to set people up on a date and has been set up on a date, I can definitely share my experience so that you can learn a thing or two from my journey.

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My Experience

I’ve been set up by a friend who wanted me to talk to his friend by adding him on Facebook just because we were single and he thought we should talk. It was super awkward and neither of us added each other on Facebook because we were not as keen as our friends. 😬

If you’re in an arranged marriage, where your parents set you up with another person possibly through families, it’s usually a disastrous experience, although many had success (if only it’s done properly). 

Needless to say, our parents usually have no clue as to who we are when it comes to relationships. They don’t know who we get attracted to. They have no clue about our preference for physical attraction.

And then, when I set people up (I think I did this twice), I go based on what I think would be good and my perception of what people want in a partner. However, my attempt failed too because only one of them happened to be interested in the get-to-know process while the other wasn’t. This experience humbled me because it goes to show that we can’t predict attraction and connection or if people have love intention.

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5 Things That May Go Wrong When Setting People Up

How to set someone up on a date in a way that doesn’t backfire on you?

1. 1. They May Not Exactly Be Keen

Make sure they are keen because if they are not, you’ll be disappointed because either one of your friends will end up complaining to you about the lack of interest of the other party. 

We may think that just because people are single and they appear to be a good match in our eyes, we can set them up on a date. 

However, it can end up being disastrous if what you feel is not what your friend is feeling about your other friend. 

So, it is best to identify if at least two people involved show some level of interest in each other. 

2. 2. They May Not Be Ready

I know that you may have heard your friend saying that she or he is sick of being single and wants to be in a relationship. 

However, when someone is ready to get to know them, they would dodge the opportunity because they are not comfortable moving out of the comfort zone which is the single life.

I know it can be extremely frustrating because if someone is saying one thing and not being able to follow through, we would end up being frustrated trying to help them out.

3. 3. Either Party Would End Up Feeling Offended

When you set people up, what can happen is that either one of them is going to get uncomfortable and have a lot of things to complain about to you. Or, this could even happen where both people are not happy with each other and they both can come to you bad-mouthing each other.

If you do not want this to happen and if you’re not ready to face such consequences, it is best to reevaluate your idea to set two people up on a date.

4. 4. They Are Not a Good Match, Unlike What You Think

Your preference in a relationship may be based on values and cultural aspects. Or even, you think that the two short friends of yours can be a good match physically and you think that you should set them up. 

However, in reality, your friends may not even think that your criteria fit their needs and situations. Your definition of a good match may not exactly be their definition. So, if you’re not careful enough, you will end up matchmaking with people who are not a good fit for each other.

5. 5. They Don’t Like You Interfering

If you have the tendency to follow up with your friends on what’s happening and if things are going well, and if your friends don’t like it, your interfering in it will end up being a disaster and this could also mean that you are crossing their boundaries.

How To Set Someone Up On A Date?

1. 1. Only Set People Up If You Know Their Dating Preference Well

How to set someone up on a date effectively? The first thing that you should do is to only set people up if you know they are dating preferences well. 

You may think that your friend is a cool person and he or she is not going to discriminate against someone based on their looks but it may surprise you to learn that your friend does not like someone who is slightly on the heavier side.

You actually wouldn’t know about it until and unless you talk about dating preferences openly. For this to happen, you should have been really close with this person to have intimate conversations surrounding relationships.

2. 2. Invite Them Both To Your Events and See If They Connect Organically

If you want to have the pressure of setting people up off your shoulders, you can invite them both to your events or functions at home and see if they can connect organically. 

This is the best way to help your friends find each other without you interfering in the process of getting to know one another.

3. 3. Ask Them To Add As Friends on Social Media

A lot of my friends got to know their partners via social media, and they are usually friends of friends. If there is a guy you think would be a good match for your friend, ask him to add her on Facebook if you know that your friend is usually open to connecting with new people on Facebook. 

If not, you should also let your other friend know that you have told about her to your friend and he will be adding her on Facebook. Ultimately, it is up to them to decide if they want to add each other on social media or not.

4. 4. Let Them Know Why You Think They Are A Good Match

People would usually hesitate to talk to new people if they don’t know if they are going to be a good match for them. Why would I ever start a conversation with someone that I am not sure I would enjoy having a conversation with? 

You wouldn’t want to have a conversation with strangers because you wouldn’t know how it would turn out to be. You should let them know why you think they are a good match. 

Upon hearing your description of your friends, they should decide if it piqued their interest or not.

5. 5. Get Feedback From Your Closest Friend First 

Talking to both of your friends at the same time about setting them up can be extremely intimidating for you as a friend. What you should do is to get feedback from your closest friend first.

Without disclosing that your friend is single, you can show her his pictures or even tell him a little bit for you to gauge her interest in him. If she is interested in getting to know him, she would let you know or possibly you could also prompt her to voice out her opinion about wanting to talk to him.

FAQs

How do you set your friends up on a date?

• Only Set People Up If You Know Their Dating Preference Well.

• Invite Them Both To Your Events and See If They Connect Organically.
• Ask Them To Add As Friends on Social Media.

• Let Them Know Why You Think They Are A Good Match
• Get Feedback From Your Closest Friend First

How do you schedule a date with someone?

• Consider the preferences of your date and yours too
• If it is a first date, it is best to take it slow and casual

• Find out what date works best for them
• Plan a date and let them know what they think about it
• Be open to modifications
• Work on the budgets

How do I set someone up?

• Think about the reasons why you think they would be a good match
• Tell them both about each other on separate occasions, casually, just to gauge their interests.

• Tell your guy friend first and see if he wants to make the first move
• Ask them to add each other on Facebook
• Invite them to your parties at home
• Don’t interfere

How to set up a date over text?

• Find out if they are keen to date you
• Ask them what they are doing over the weekend
• Let them know your intention to ask them out on a date

• Ask them for their availability
• Share your plans with them
• Let them respond to you without you asking much about it
• Be open to rejection or reschedules