Are you wondering what would happen after 3 months of no contact with your relationship? If I let him go will he come back? Is it good to take breaks in a relationship and is it healthy to give too much space to a partner? How many months of no contact should I do? What can I expect out of 3 months of no contact?
I know that you’re googling out of anxiety because you’re not sure you should go no contact with your partner and you’re afraid that this is a signal that your relationship is coming to an end. However, let’s look at some of the realities that you need to accept in a relationship and what mindsets you need in order to navigate through arguments in a relationship as well as what mindset helps you to bridge the gap between you and your partner.
I’m Jasveena and I have been blogging since 2013, documenting my experience as well as helpful professional resources and tips I found online in seeking meaningful relationships and connections, and I am here to share them with you so that you are not alone in cruising through this journey called life that may seem like a lonely path.
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My Experience
I have never actually been in 3 months of no contact during my relationship but I have certainly been in 3 months of no contact when I was dating people and I decided that we need to take a break because things are not moving in the right direction.
Let me first explain the fact that just because you are not in the no-contact phase of your relationship, it does not mean that your relationship is headed in the right direction. You both could be in touch with each other every day and still be disconnected from each other.
Most of the time, we refuse to go in a no-contact phase because we are afraid of losing that person fully. We think that we need to be in touch to be able to have some sort of control of the relationship. However, most of us actually do not make any efforts to fix the root cause of the problem in our relationships even when we communicate with each other.
So, that was a fancy explanation as to why my relationship did not work out some 12 years ago. 🤪
However, when I was dating during the pandemic, I was in touch with a guy who was going through some personal problems and was not really communicating well with me. He would be there for a few days, and then go to me and come back again after a week or so. I was also not able to make rational decisions at that point in time because it was a pandemic and we were not able to meet. Nevertheless, I came to a point where I thought I needed to break things off and not think about it anymore until and unless we are able to meet after the situation got better.
3 months went by easily and in fact many months were gone before I abruptly received a message from him on telegram asking if I was available for a coffee date. I was quite taken aback when I received that message and I was still very angry with the fact that he did not communicate anything with me clearly. I demanded an answer and I was told that he was going through a rough moment in life. Nevertheless, his ghosting attitude and bad behaviors were still there and I had to end it once and for all because I needed genuine connections and transparency.
So 3 months of no contact or even more means nothing if you don’t see changes in behaviours. It makes you realize life is actually better without them.
How Important Taking a Break Is In Relationships?
In a relationship, giving each other sufficient space is very crucial, and this is also important when you are dating as you cannot expect a person to change his or her life 180 degrees for you. Taking a break is important if you are having a heated argument and you need time to reflect on things.
However, when things are really going well, it is also important for you to take a break not in the sense of stopping communication with the partner but taking a break in that sense of having your own me-time in order to de-stress and enjoy other aspects of life and relationships like family and friends.
3 Months Of No Contact: 3 Relationship Pitfalls That Happen
So, what exactly happens in 3 months of no contact, and how it can lead to pitfalls in a relationship?
- You Learn How To Live Without Them
I know that you actually do not want to learn how to live without your partner. This is not something that people will be eager to learn in life. However, when you go 3 months of no contact with your partner, what will happen is that you will gradually learn how to distance yourself from them. You will stop referencing them in everything that is happening in your life. You will gain some level of sense of self and you will identify what you like and dislike as a person without necessarily having your partner’s opinion cloud your mind.
You will learn how not to depend on them and you will think about different ways of solving your own problems without relying on your partner. During this point and time, you may increase your self-confidence and you may think from different perspectives this also includes the problems that you have in your relationship for you may have a different perspective of the problem itself.
- You See The Ugly Things That You Have Been Tolerating
As I said before, one of the main reasons why people are afraid of going no contact is because they are afraid of losing them. However, when you embrace the no-contact period, you will see the only things that you have been tolerating in a relationship. You will no longer be able to tolerate the problems that were brought about by your partner’s bad behavior.
You probably have been so worried about going no contact because you do not want it to affect your children and their lives. However, when you go no contact you might realize that your children are here and you have a peaceful environment at home which makes you realize that it is good to go no contact in order to resolve issues without arguments sometimes.
- One Person Might Move On While The Other Still Having Hopes On It
Experts say that people actually learn how to move on after eight weeks of separation and if you decide to go 3 months of no contact with your partner, most likely either one of you or even both of you will be ready to move on from the relationship. If there is no solid reason holding the two of you together, and if there is no love and genuine interest for each other, you will most likely be on the verge of ending your relationship.
What’s painful if the decision to separate only comes from one person while the other person is still holding on to the relationship? This is the biggest pitfall that could ever happen out of a no-contact phase because it is hard to decipher what is going on in the mind of another person when two people are not communicating.
Distance Makes The Hearts Grow Fonder?
- If A Couple Truly Love Each Other
So people say that distance makes the hearts grow fonder. It can actually bring you closer if the two of you truly love each other. Therefore, 3 months of no contact will make you realize that you still love them and you want them back in your life.
- If They Realize You Can’t Be Replaced
So, probably what happens when you do not communicate with each other during the no contact phase is that they probably would have gone out on dates with someone else and they would have thought that they could replace you. However, maybe due to the bond that you have created with this person, it is not possible to replace you with someone else. Have you seen couples breaking up and then patching back up together? This is generally because the relationships that we have in our lives to date set the tone of what we like and what we don’t like in a relationship.
You may have noticed that you still like the food introduced to you by your ex-boyfriend or probably some of the traits like tall, dark, and handsome like your ex-boyfriend that you may be subconsciously looking for in a new partner.
- They Realize They Can’t Live Without You
In this modern era where everyone is working and everybody is capable of supporting their own lives, integrating into someone’s life takes a lot of effort and reasons to do so. If during the no contact phase, you realize that you cannot live without your partner, this shows that your partner positively adds to your life value and makes you happier.
Therefore, your partner can also come back to you if they realize that life is boring without you and they cannot live without you.
- It Allows People To Reflect On Life
Distance actually makes people reflect on life. This is because without the external noise and probably without the external noise that is coming from your very own partner, you will be able to think straight and reflect on life without your thoughts being interrupted by their opinion.
A person may realize that they miss you when they realize this on their own as compared to you making them realize it.
- Minimizes Frictions Brought About By Daily Life
Distance is also good because it minimizes friction brought about by daily life. If you are living Under One roof and you meet each other every single day after work, you will make things even worse if you have arguments with your partner.
So, if you have decided to live separately for a bit in order to figure things out, you will help ease the process of understanding each other by eliminating the friction that is present when the both of you live together. It can be simple things like who’s going to take the trash out and who’s gonna be in charge of the house chores.
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FAQs
Is 3 months long enough for no contact?
People actually start to move on after eight weeks of separation and if you are able to give three months of no contact phase, and you realize that you miss your ex-partner and that you want to patch up with them, it shows that both of you are in the right frame of mind to work things out. Three months is also long enough for you to realize that actually your love and relationship are strong enough to withstand problems.
Does my ex miss me after 3 months of no contact?
It is normal for people to miss their ex-partners up to five months after no contact. This is especially true if they have gone on dates with other people and realized that not many people out there are ready to offer what you have offered them in a relationship.
What’s he thinking 3 months no contact?
During the three months of no contact phase, a guy might be struggling with commitment issues and he might be deciding whether he likes to stay single or he misses you so much to the extent that he wants to patch up with you and start all over again with you by entering into a relationship.
Is 3 months a long time after a breakup?
Studies show that it can take up to three and a half months of time for people to heal properly after a breakup. During this period, people may miss their ex-partner or even reach out to the ex-partner in order to patch back up with them. However, when divorce is involved, people can take up to one and a half years or even longer in order to completely heal and enter into another relationship.
