Casual Dating: How To Define The Relationship?

Casual dating and how to define relationships were topics that I talked to my friend about yesterday when we met for a coffee date. We have been single for more than a decade now and we recently saw one of our friends getting married to a guy she came across on Tinder.

They both got connected on Tinder and they lost contact for about a year because the girl was not interested in the guy and then casual conversation sparked between the both of them during COVID.

They were conversing as friends for more than three months as casual as it could be. And then, the girl initiated questions and conversations about “who are we ?”.

This is because they have been in touch every day like a couple.

Things naturally unfold after that and they are now married. So, it brought us both to the question “How long should you take before you define the relationship”.

We have been getting advice on defining the relationship on various social media platforms. Some people say that guys should label the relationship and snatch you up within two months. 

But then, when we come across someone nice, as women, we also do not want to be too pushy and rush the relationship and connection, or appear too needy.

So, is being casual or taking 6 months or a year to get to know before you get into a relationship something acceptable?

Share this post around if you find it useful or interesting!

Affiliate Link Disclosure
Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links and I may earn a commission if you click on them, at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Hope you find the information here useful! Thanks. 

What Does Just Casual Dating Mean?

Casual dating for people who do not take relationships seriously can be defined as two people sharing an emotional or physical connection, and seeing each other from a romantic perspective but do not care if it ends up in an official relationship or not.

Casual dating or the get-to-know process for people who are looking to get into a relationship is defined as dating to get to know someone without the pressure of defining the relationship within a time frame or finding out if it would work or not within a specified time.

Their Intention Is The Real Catch

The biggest problem for women is to identify the intention of a man that they are dating if women are dating to get into a serious relationship. How long should they give their partner to get a good sense of where the connection is leading? Is it too soon to ask if they can define the relationship? Or are they just stringing women along in the pretense of wanting to be in a relationship?

If you are reading this and you are in your twenties,  you probably have a lot more time to get to know someone casually. However, if you are in your 30s, usually, men have their needs and they know what they want out of a connection. It is understandable that getting to know someone and their baggage can take some time. There is no right or wrong when it comes to getting to know someone.

Men who want sex will rush into sex without even putting in the effort to get to know you. Men who want something financially from you will try to extort money from you.

Even if you are talking every day, you should ask yourself if you are talking about serious things like:

• Past relationship failures
• Preferences in a relationship
• Getting to know about the family and job
• Making solid date plans
• The ability to be respectful and decent 

Read also: why do men like situationship?

Is Casual Dating Healthy?

Pros of Casual Dating

If you’re reading this, chances are you are scared to ask your partner “What are we” or “Why are we dating each other”. If you are too scared to ask why the both of you are talking to each other, chances are you also contributing to this ambiguous situation. What you need to know is that you wouldn’t spoil a real connection by asking these questions.

One of the things that I spoke to my friend is about how short-lived relationships and connections are in today’s world. when we are dating comma what we do is talk to somebody and probably that connection is gonna last one to two months and we don’t hear from each other anymore. 

However, I have always wondered who these people are really, what are their insecurities and why are we not getting to know the real person without the pressure of trying to see if a relationship is possible.

At times, being friends first will expose you to a lot of truth about these people because they will be more comfortable sharing their thoughts with you.

Can we be good friends with these people without the conversation being sleazy and are they respecting us? I think this is the hallmark of a good connection especially when you are still engaging if this could be a relationship.

Cons of Casual Dating

Imagine being friends with someone for a year and you probably thought that the both of you are dating and he is considering you to become his lover. Imagine the amount of mental load that it takes to decipher what the other person is thinking for almost a year.

This is the problem in casual dating when people are not expressive about why they are talking to each other and more problematic when one of them catches feelings towards the other.

If you meet people on dating apps and you feel like they are not defining the connection comma chances are you being strung along by someone who just wants something casual.

It is also problematic if you are dating them exclusively thinking that they are also dating you exclusively. you are then investing a lot of emotions on this person without even knowing where you are headed to.

How Long Can Casual Dating Last?

• How much time can you spare for this connection?
• Do you feel good about this connection?
• Are you getting to know at a pace that is comfortable for you?
• Are you progressively seeing more green flags in them?
• Are they asking quality questions to get to know you as a potential partner?

If you are above 30, and if someone is serious about getting to know you, you should be able to define the relationship within 3 months but in cases like long-distance relationships, where you know it can take a little longer, it makes sense to take a longer time.

Are you both feeling like you need more time to spend with each other? Then, you can take longer than 3 months, and up to 6 months (in my opinion) – if you can’t meet often.

But, anything more than that would indicate that it is not possible to spend more time with each other. It may not be practical due to the distance between the both of you or other work commitments, which are stopping you from getting to know each other.

What Can Women Do To Ensure The Connection Is Moving Towards The Right Path?

If you are confused, ASK them right away, or tell them that you like them and you would want to see where it leads to, and ask them if they feel the same towards you. I had people deflecting the question by saying things like “Aw, that is so nice of you”. This is a clear indication that they do not want to be honest with you and want to string you along.