How to ask a girl out for coffee? Well, first of all, congratulations for wanting to know more about how to ask a girl out for coffee and taking the initiative to Google and Viola, I’m happy for you!
I know you must be feeling extremely nervous and you probably are not sure how things are going to pan out and feeling very conscious about your next move.
As a 35 and single woman dating since 2017, I’ve gone out on coffee dates with many men, and here is my opinion about men asking women out for coffee. Read on to learn more about what you can do to ease your anxiety and just be confident when you are expressing your thoughts without coming off as a rude or desperate person.
I’m Jasveena and I have been blogging since 2013, documenting my experience as well as helpful professional resources and tips I found online in seeking meaningful relationships and connections, and I am here to share them with you so that you are not alone in cruising through this journey called life that may seem like a lonely path.
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My Experience
Asking a girl out for a coffee date can be intimidating because you probably have so many things going on in your mind; from trying to figure out if she is a fussy person to even seeing if she is interested in you going out on a date.
I know that a lot of men have gone through difficult dating experiences with fussy women and women who expect fancy restaurants for the first date. For some men, bringing women out to a fancy restaurant is not a huge deal.
However, that is an issue for you and if you are concerned about keeping things casual you should first define your comfortable with when it comes to the first date.
If you are comfortable only going to casual places and you want to make sure that women are not dating you for money, you should stand by your principles and stick to what you feel comfortable doing.
Secondly, if you are in the intention of asking a woman out for coffee to learn more about her to establish a possible romantic connection, you should make that known to her.
This is because no woman would want to be asked to go out on a coffee date to discuss work or hobbies only to later find out that the man asked her out to get to know her further.
I’ve had so many men in the past who asked me out on a coffee date to a very normal restaurant and I’ve had no issues with it because basically, I don’t expect men to spend lavishly on a first date.
And trust me, women love when men take the initiative to ask them out on a date.
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How To Ask A Girl Out For Coffee?
Here are a few things to keep in mind when you are trying to find out how to ask a girl out for coffee:
- Find Common Grounds With Her
If you are trying to initiate a conversation with her and you’re not sure where, to begin with, what you can do is to find common ground with her. Are you a member of the badminton club in your neighborhood and you know that she loves badminton as well? Maybe you’ve seen her posting about something that sparked your interest on social media and you want to ask her more about it.
Find common grounds to initiate conversation and then try to get to know about her personal life if you are trying to ask out on a date with her. If you know that she’s single, what you can do is politely tell her that you’re interested in getting to know her further and if she feels the same, you can ask her to go on a coffee date with you.
- Plan An Activity Prior
Are you guys having a work appointment this coming week? Are you not sure about something related to your project, and do you need her help? You can plan an activity before meeting her so that during the meet-up you can initiate conversations about personal life a little bit.
“I guess John is not able to make it to our meeting today and that leaves the both of us for today’s session unfortunately because John has to bring his sick wife to the clinic.”
“I guess as a single person I am not able to relate to John’s experience yet. So, how about you? Are you still single or are you seeing anyone?”
- Ask For Help
“My grandmother is ill and she needs some assistance at her home. Do you know anyone from your hospital that does home nursing?”
You can ask for help from the woman to strike up a conversation with her and then try to get to know if she is single. You can ask out on a coffee date to make up for the help you received from her.
Well, during the process of trying to find out things about her or even asking her out on a coffee date, you will be able to gauge the interest the woman has in you.
- Join Her For A Coffee If You Know Where She Chills
So, both of you have been working at the same department for quite some time and you for sure know that she loves her morning coffee. If you know that you used to spot her by the coffee machine in the morning, why not join her deliberately for a coffee and strike up a conversation with her as you would make it seem like this is a casual encounter?
Small chats are great to get to know people and from here you will be able to see if she’s actually interested in going out on a coffee date with you.
What To Remember When Pursuing A Woman?
How to ask a girl out for coffee? Here are a few things that you need to remember when pursuing a girl romantically:
- Women Like Men Who Are Confident
Women like men who are confident and it does not matter if you have preferences when it comes to romantic relationships or even when going out on a coffee date. What matters is that you dare to express your opinions to a woman. If a man can’t even initiate a coffee date, what do you think women will think of him? Women like dependable men.
- We Like Being Asked Out Politely
When you ask a woman out politely, it makes a huge difference. This is because when a man considers her feelings and her opinions when he is asking her out, it goes to show that he is concerned about her. Kindness and respect go a long way.
- Take Rejections Gracefully
A lot of men hesitate to ask a woman out for a coffee because they are not sure how the woman would react and they would want to minimize the damage done during the process of proposing to a girl. This hurts the ego of a man to be rejected flatly on the face if a woman is not interested in going out on a date with him.
However, taking rejections gracefully is an art that we all need to master because only then we will be able to ask for what we need in life and continuously dare to go after what we want despite not knowing how things will pan out.
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FAQs
How to ask a girl out for coffee over text?
“Hey, you’re looking really elegant and beautiful. I had a great time talking to you and I was wondering if you would be interested in grabbing a coffee sometime soon?”
Compliment women and tell them what you like about them. This would minimize the risk of being rejected or even if you are rejected, they would reject you very politely as well and it’s going to be a good experience nevertheless.
How do I ask for coffee to a girl?
What you can do is express your thoughts and not follow up with her again until you hear from her. You can say things like “I’ve seen you around for quite some time and you look like a great person to talk to and I would like to have a coffee with you if you don’t mind.” If she’s interested, she will reciprocate your message and will let you know that she’s interested in a coffee. Getting to know someone is a two-way street and therefore you do not need to put in way too much effort in the beginning.
Is it OK to ask a girl for a coffee date?
If you are asking a girl out for a coffee date just to get to know her but you also do not want it to feel very intense, what you can do is start a conversation with her casually. You may say things like “I’ve seen you in college before and I’ve never thought that you would be a fantastic person to talk to. I would like to go on a coffee date with you just to talk a little bit more with you if that’s okay for you”.
How do you ask a shy girl out for coffee?
Try chatting with her first on social media or if you have a number, what you can do is text her first to see if she is getting more comfortable talking to you and only then ask her out on a date because she needs to feel comfortable enough to come out for a coffee date with a guy.
