Am I having a pseudo boyfriend? Are you confused if the guy that you’re seeing is actually your boyfriend, and are you not sure if you should already start labeling him as your boyfriend?
Are you guys actually dating each other thinking that it is leading to a relationship but actually it is a pseudo-relationship and he is your suitable boyfriend?
Here are three signs to identify if you have a pseudo boyfriend:
I’m Jasveena and I have been blogging since 2013, documenting my experience as well as helpful professional resources and tips I found online in seeking meaningful relationships and connections, and I am here to share them with you so that you are not alone in cruising through this journey called life that may seem like a lonely path.
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My Experience
Well, during the pandemic, everyone was rushing to dating apps because that is the only way available to date people. Virtual dating was a huge thing back then when people were not able to meet face-to-face.
I think this is when I was under the impression that the one that I was dating was going to lead to a relationship but then eventually down the road, I felt like I was having a pseudo boyfriend.
You go on a date, you kiss, you love it and you are still on the right track of getting to know each other just like any other couple would do in a dating period. However, if weeks turn into months and there is no clear communication of where you both are, this is a pitfall to show that this person is just stringing you along.
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Differences Between Pseudo Boyfriend, Situationships, and Friends With Benefits
I’m sure that you must be wondering what are the differences between pseudo boyfriend, situationship vs friends with benefits.
In a pseudo-relationship people usually think that they are on the right track heading towards a relationship but there is a sign that either one of them is emotionally unavailable, would go back and forth saying things like “Let’s move slowly”, or even would try to introduce you to their family and friends saying that you are their friend. Wishy washy guys do this a lot.
Pseudo Boyfriend: 3 Sure Ways To Know If You Have One Easily
- You Are Not Sure If You Are Single
One of the clear ways to identify if you have a pseudo boyfriend is that you’re not actually sure if you are still single. You may think that you are exclusively dating them, come on and you are actually waiting for them to make things official with you.
However, the waiting period can be killing you because you tend to be waiting for a few weeks that later turn into a few months and you are actually not sure where you are standing.
You both are indecisive and you both are being in this situation which is very ambiguous because none of you have actually cleared the air.
- You Both Are Very Affectionate
Another way to identify if you have a pseudo boyfriend is that you actually have a very affectionate relationship with him. He is actually very affectionate towards you. Unlike in the situationship, where they would emotionally withdraw from you after the sex is over, here, there are clear communications and it is clear that he likes you and he is making a commitment to reach out to you every day.
- Neither One Of You Has Confessed Feelings Yet
Because neither one of you has confessed your feelings yet, you might be thinking that he will be making the first move and telling you his feelings. You actually refrain from asking him for clarification fearing that you would pressure him.
Since it is not a clear no, you might be thinking that there is more to this and you are waiting patiently to see how this is going to turn out, hoping that this would turn into a relationship.
Pseudo Boyfriend: How To End Things With Him
- Ask Him To Label The Relationship
The only way to end this ambiguous situation is to actually ask him to label the relationship. Eventually, you will need to ask him where you guys are in the relationship, and where is this connection heading to, although this is going to be a difficult discussion to talk about.
- Identify What You Want In A Relationship
If you are dating above 30, if you are 35 and single just like me, what you need to do is to exactly identify what you want in a relationship. I know that most of us in our 30s have enough friends and we are not looking for friends anymore. If no strings attached arrangement is something that is going to serve you well right now, then go ahead with that. However, if you actually want to have a relationship, and you’re settling for breaks and you know that they are not going to fulfill your needs, you should step out of the situation, leave them, and find someone who is able to meet your needs.
- End Things Amicably By Respecting Your Time and Energy
If they have explicitly voiced their opinion and they think that they are not able to identify what they want and if they’re not able to let you go, you have to make the decision to remove yourself from the connection because you need to understand that you deserve someone who is going to give you the undivided attention and faithfulness.
It does not mean that you have to go into an argument with them, you can simply state what you need and and things amicably with them as this would respect your energy and time and you could also save yourself the drama that may arise as a result of having ugly arguments with them.
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FAQs
What is a pseudo relationship?
It is a sign of a connection between people in a relationship but there is no actual connection formed by the two people whereby they explicitly agreed to enter a relationship.
What is pseudo dating?
A lot of the time, you end up having a pseudo boyfriend because you have not met this person yet. This actually happens a lot in online dating whereby you form some sort of connection by texting and video calling even before you could meet them in person. You have not met in person.
What is the meaning of pseudo love?
“Pseudo-love” is referring to sexual satisfaction when it is rather sexual happiness. Basically, when two people just have sex and the sex is amazing, you tend to feel that you are in a romantic relationship and your brain tricks you into thinking that he is your boyfriend and you therefore in a fake love.
What is a pseudo romance?
Pseudoromantic people feel intense attraction, like aesthetic, sensual, or sexual attraction, which resembles romantic feelings, often leading to romantic emotions. However, they do not have the inner inclination to participate in romantic activities with that person. He is not ready for a relationship but wants to be friends.
