What Is Double Dating and The Dos and Don’ts of It?

Have you ever considered double dating? Are you having burnout after going for dates of the dates, and finding dating a daunting process that you wouldn’t want to do alone?

Imagine this: if you could make dating a more exciting process where you could have more fun and be more relaxed, wouldn’t it encourage you to go on more dates?

I’m sure you are all up for it! Double dating is one way of adding excitement to your dating process where you could bring your friend and her date when you are going through a date with your partner.

With double dates, you wouldn’t need to plan venues, activities, and even what to wear on your date night out because you have your friend to plan everything with you.

Sounds exciting? Now, let’s see how to make this happen more practically so that it ends up being a pleasant experience for both couples.

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I’m Jasveena and I have been blogging since 2013, documenting my experience as well as helpful professional resources and tips I found online in seeking meaningful relationships and connections, and I am here to share them with you so that you are not alone in cruising through this journey called life that may seem like a lonely path.

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Two couples double dating while having food and wine on a sunny day by a river side

What Is A Double Date?

To put it simply, a double date is a date where two couples romantically spend time with their respective partners. This applies whether you are in a relationship or you are just starting to date people to see if you could be in a relationship with them, as the dating process reflects the importance of courtship in a relationship.

Picture this: you are single and you are planning a date out with a guy that you just swiped right on a dating app, and you have a friend who is also single and planning for a date night with her partner.

I am sure that you know it is pretty much normal to have couples introducing their family and friends to the dates. So, why not go on a double date to introduce your date to your single friend and her partner, this is a good chance for you to gauge how your date is behaving in a social setting when building an organic relationship.

When To Go For Double Dates?

As exciting as it sounds, it could also be scary when double dates are done wrongly. You wouldn’t want to screw up the entire dating process for you and your friend just because the double date is completely awkward to the extent that it kills the joy of a dating process.

Let’s look at some of the opportunities that you could explore to make double date a successful experience for both couples.

Double Date for First Dates

Have you ever swiped right on people on dating apps and decided to go on a date that very day?

Forget about whether it is the right thing to do after you have swiped right on someone on a dating app, as a lot of people suggest having a few days of conversation before you meet them in real life. However, that will not work if both of you are not working in the same city, or if you are traveling a lot and may miss the time to catch up in person if you don’t do it when you have the time for a date night out.

I have swiped right on people on dating apps and went on a date that same day, and this happened a lot after the COVID-19 lockdown had been eased up. However, it could be a little bit intimidating and awkward to meet a stranger for a date night. This is where the double date idea can be very helpful for two people who have little to no idea about each other.

If your friend just swiped right on someone and is also planning for a first date, this could be an excellent idea to ease your anxiety and avoid discreet dates (especially with potentially dangerous people), as you and your friend could suggest a double date with your respective partners, where you could be attending a music festival or watch a movie together.

This is not a completely bad idea because you have not spent time with your date for you to need personal time together. This is when you would filter them based on your preference and see if you want to date them again.

A lot of people meeting that first dates should be done in a private setting because you would want to get to know the person well, but imagine if you were to meet someone at the bar when you are with your friends and you are having a conversation with the person that you’re having a crush on, trying to gauge if you like them and if you would like to go on a date with them privately in future. That’s the case over here as well.

Double Date After Dating For Sometime

Now, if you have been dating someone for some time, say after four to five dates, you may want to introduce your date to your family and friends. This is an excellent opportunity to go on a double date because you and your friend would want to introduce your respective dates to each other.

“Hey, my friend is also single and she has been dating this great guy for a few weeks now, and she’s also thinking about setting up a date night today. So, I was thinking of double dating and introducing you to my friend and her partner. Are you up for it?”

When you have been dating for quite some time, you have spent enough time with each other to get to know the fundamental information about your partner. Therefore, when you are double dating, it would not rob you of the time that you should be spending exclusively on your partner.

Rules for Double Dating

  • Do not sacrifice time to get to know your partner personally

If you’re getting to know your partner and are in the phase of investing more time to talk to them and spend more time exclusively with them, do not go on a double date because this would distract you and your partner in the process of getting to know each other. You also do not want to have your friend’s opinion cloud your judgment if she decides to comment on your partner’s behavior.

It is okay to go on a double date when you do not have an idea of who they are yet and you would want to meet them in person to gauge their behavior rather than spending time talking on a dating app because you are not getting to know them yet as this is just the very first level of filtering people to see if you like them and would want to see them again.

  • Plan for proper activities that could cater to the preferences of everyone

It is trickier to plan for activities that could make everyone happy because all four of you may have different personalities and preferences. However, activities like bowling and watching a movie could still be a great idea because all four of you could be doing the same activity, but could also sneak private time together like chatting in between and going for supper afterward.

  • Find out if your partner is comfortable with it

One of the ways to avoid people feeling awkward with a double-dating experience is to find out if your partner is comfortable with it and if they had a good time. Also, watch for the body language and facial expressions to see if they are genuinely comfortable with it because people may not tell you upfront if they are not comfortable. So, always look for other cues before you plan for another double date.

  • Find out if your partner wants to do it again

Some people would prefer double dating once in a blue moon whereas others would have no problem with it as a regular activity. Ask them their preference and see if they have better plans and ideas to make double dates work better for everyone. Although it is you and your friend initiating double dates, you should be aware that asking for your partner’s feedback is extremely crucial in ensuring a happy dating experience.

  • Be willing to go on double dating with your partner’s friends

Your partner may have an idea to bring you on a double date with his friends, and this could be an excellent opportunity for you to get to know his friends and family. Therefore, be open to going on double dates with other couples as well

What To Do On A Double Date?

  1. Sports Activities

Hiking, bowling, and board games are some of the activities that you could suggest doing on a double date as this gives you sufficient opportunities to observe your partner doing different activities that you may not have been doing together when you focusing on just talking and getting to know each other.

You would have the company of your friend and her partner, and it would not be too boring. At the same time, you can also talk to your partner as a friend and see if you like them. This is especially true if you are meeting for the first time. If you do not want a partner who is not good in social settings, this first date would give you the hint to drop him then and there ;).

2. Road Trips

You could be traveling with your partner privately in a car and your friend could be traveling separately with her partner. But all four of you can be heading to the same destination. This is yet again another great idea because when you are traveling privately with your partner, it gives you private time to talk to your partner, and at the same time also eliminates the sense of a monotonous dating experience.

3. Cafe Hopping

If you have been on a group tour for vacations, you will know that during your free and easy time, you will have a lot of time to spend with your family members without the disruption of other participants. 

Imagine going on a cafe-hopping during a double date where you could be exploring cafes with your partner privately while your friend and her partner could be walking down the street exploring some other cafes, and you could have both the experience of having some time together with your partner and also some time spent with the other couple.

My Experience

When events like music festivals and Valentine’s Day are around the corner, my friend and I would love to go on double dates because these events are more convincing for you to invite your partners for double dating because it would make things less awkward and more spontaneous.

My friend and I are on Bumble and we frequently match with people living in the same city, and therefore we find double dating an exciting dating idea especially when both of us are having dating fatigue but also want to find a companion.

It requires less preparation and all of us can just be ourselves while enjoying the company of more than one person, making the entire experience merrier.

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What is double dating in a relationship?

A social engagement in which two couples go together for dates. Usually, both couples know each other, as two of them could be friends who are introducing their respective partners during a double date. This could be done to eliminate boredom in dating where both of you want different experiences dating, and at the same time get to know each other’s friends.

Is it okay to double-date?

Double dating in the phase of getting to know your partner privately as a person is NOT respectful and NOT ok. This is because you wouldn’t be giving the attention that your partner deserves come on and there would be a lot of distractions when more than one person is talking at the same time. You need quiet and personal time together to give undivided attention to your partner.

Is double dating awkward?

It is common for double dates to become awkward if one of you is extremely introverted and takes time to get comfortable in a social setting. Double dates are only ever going to not be awkward if you all know each other fairly well. This is especially true if two people are already friends, as it makes the entire process less awkward and more natural, as the friends would help everyone feel comfortable sharing a closer bond as all four people get to know each other.

Is double dating good in a relationship?

When couples carry the right attitude and plan for the right activity in the right setting, double dating would strengthen the relationship while bringing joy into both of their lives. Double dates are not avoidable because, think of this, if you are getting to know your partners’ siblings and their partners, you would all go out one day, and that would be a double date without your realizing it.

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