Is he losing interest or just stressed? Are you wondering why your guy is pulling away from you? Has he been quite silent and refusing to communicate with you? Are you not sure if you’re supposed to reach out to him and ask him what’s bothering him or are you supposed to just assume that he is losing interest in you already?
This can especially be very confusing if you are just in the dating phase and you are not sure if this guy is losing interest or he is just having some other issues that are not related to you and if he would circle back when things are better.
Is he losing interest or just stressed? I have wondered about this many times when I was dating in the past as I’ve had quite a few experiences where we were dating and then suddenly these guys went silent, making me think if I should just lower my expectations towards this connection or just take it easy coz he may be stressed with work.
Let’s look at what you can do when you’re facing this issue.
I’m Jasveena and I have been blogging since 2013, documenting my experience as well as helpful professional resources and tips I found online in seeking meaningful relationships and connections, and I am here to share them with you so that you are not alone in cruising through this journey called life that may seem like a lonely path.
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My Experience
Is he losing interest or just stressed? During the pandemic, when we were all stuck at home, a lot of us were dating through dating apps and virtual dating was the only option left at that point in time. That was when I got to know someone who was living not quite far away but we could not meet at that point in time. I think it was a year and a half later when I was able to meet him in person.
I was aware that he was going through some personal issues at that point and there were times I did not hear from him at all for many days and sometimes even weeks. I was not sure if I was supposed to hold on to him or just continue dating others. So, there was a time I could not handle the stress that came from thinking if he was no longer interested or if he was just stressed and I sent him a text saying that I could not take this anymore and since we are also not able to meet, we should stop communicating.
A year and a half later, we met and I was told that he was going through a difficult time when I last messaged him. However, the same pattern repeated and I was wondering “Is he losing interest or just stressed”. I did not get valid reasons as to why he’s ghosting me occasionally and the connection ended in an ugly way when I reached out to his friend when I did not hear from him for many days, leading to an argument.
So, if someone is so busy they barely have time to explain to you that they are busy, you don’t deserve to be with a person who’s treating you like an option. Do yourself a favor and remove yourself from the messy situation.
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Is He Losing Interest Or Just Stressed?: Losing Interest Vs Being Stressed
Is he losing interest or just stressed? Now let’s see what are the differences between a guy who is losing interest versus a guy who is just being stressed with his work or other issues that he is having in his life.
- Source of Stress Is Clear
If he is stressed, the source of stress is going to be clear. If he is having a change in management at the workplace, this is definitely something that he can communicate with you. You can see him being stressed because of work and maybe he is coming back late every day due to additional workload.
However, if you think that he is stressed due to work but he is not communicating this to you, and you are just assuming that he is stressed due to work, it is not actually a good signal because the reason why he is not communicating well with you could also be due to the fact that he’s losing interest in you.
One could be stressed at work and also lose interest in you at the same time.😐
- There Are No Underlying Issues
If he is just stressed, it is going to be clear to you because if the both of you do not have any arguments in your relationship, you will know it. You will know that you’ve never had any misunderstandings that can lead to him pulling away from you abruptly.
Therefore, if he does not have any issues with you, he will be able to be honest with you and communicate that he’s just having some other issues that he’s attending to at this point in time and it has nothing to do with you. Honestly, any guy who wants to save the relationship with you will communicate with you in order to make sure that you do not get anxious and become suspicious of him.
- He Is Able To Communicate And Not Avoid You
One clear way of knowing if someone is having issues with you and is not really able to communicate that with you is the fact that they avoid answering your questions like “is there something wrong in our relationship” or “Are you having any issues with me”?. If he is avoiding answering your questions, it indicates that he is losing interest in you and there are some other underlying issues that he is trying to avoid talking about with you.
However, if someone is just stressed about work and other things when you ask these questions, they would almost immediately reassure you that things are fine and they are just stressed. Sometimes, they could also be angry that you are assuming things in your head come on but rest assured that even if they are angry, it shows that they want you to relax and not just overthink stuff.
How To Communicate Unmet Expectations and Resolve Stress?
So, if let’s say that the both of you have different communication Styles and you have unmet expectations in your relationship or when you’re dating someone, and you want to voice this out in order to resolve stress, what are the effective ways to handle the differences?
- Explain What They Should Do When They Are Stressed
If you do not like your partner being silent when they are stressed, you should explain to them what they can do in order to tell you that they need some time to process whatever they are going through and if they need more time, especially alone time to figure things out.
- Talk About Giving Space To Each Other
Is he losing interest or just stressed? Rather than assuming things, what we can do is talk about giving space to each other when we are in distress. After your partner has communicated to you that he needs some time alone to figure things out that are stressing him out, what you need to do is give him enough space so that he can sort it out.
This means that you should not be asking about the problem every day. This also includes not bugging him with solutions that may seem correct to you. Let him figure things out and come back to you.
- Set A Realistic Expectation To Resolve Issues
You should also have a realistic expectation as to how long this is going to take. If he is going to take a few months to resolve and figure out things, and if this is not something that you’re comfortable with, you should talk about it openly.
Ultimately, a problem that someone faces at the workplace should be left at the workplace and should not be brought into a relationship. Because, if this prolongs, it is going to affect the relationship.
- Ask For Help To Find a Solution
Your partner in distress should also learn how to ask for help in order to find a solution faster. If he is not able to resolve the problem on his own, and if it is taking a long time and affecting your relationship, the best thing to do is to seek professional help in order to resolve it.
Your partner also can seek your help and this should be something that everyone in a relationship learns to do. Keeping ego aside and asking for help when needed will save relationships.
- Practice Patience
Lastly, if someone is in distress and needs time to resolve it, what we as a partners need to do is to practice patience and be calm as well as focus on ourselves. Nick Wignall has mentioned in his newsletter, answering a reader’s question on how to deal with a depressed partner, that the best thing to do when our partner is depressed is to focus on ourselves and make sure we’re in the best of our mental health as this will create a positive aura for the distressed partner.
What To Do If He Is Losing Interest?
If you already know that he’s losing interest in you even if you are just dating and you think that you have some chance to change his mind, what you need to do is to pull yourself away from the connection. This is a form of self-respect that you have for yourself because you should not beg for someone’s attention and love. If you have already explained that you need consistent communication and your partner is not giving you that, it goes to show that he is not respecting you enough and probably this is a sign that you should leave the relationship or connection that you have formed with this person.
If I let him go will he come back? You may be wondering if you should be waiting around. Don’t do that. Move on because you deserve someone who can reciprocate your feelings.
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FAQs
Is he losing interest or am I overthinking?
If he rainchecks you, if he does not reschedule plans if he’s not the one initiating conversation if you are the one making all the efforts to meet him and get the connection going, it might be a sign that he is already losing interest. You are not overthinking but you are feeling anxious because your efforts are not being reciprocated because love is reciprocal.
How to tell if he’s losing interest or just comfortable?
5 signs that he is losing interest?
- You’re initiating conversation all the time and not him.
- He does not answer your questions directly when you ask him if anything is wrong in the connection.
- You are confused about where the connection or the relationship is headed.
Do men pull away when they are stressed?
Women are more emotional beings and therefore women tend to discuss problems. However, men tend to go into fight-or-flight mode when they are in distress. Therefore, in an attempt to run away from problems, they also tend to shut down and avoid talking to people including their spouses or girlfriends.
Do guys get distant when stressed?
Guys get distant when distressed because they do not want their partner to see them under pressure. In an effort to avoid seeming weak, men actually avoid talking to people and also get emotionally distant while figuring out how to solve their problems.
