Are you wondering “Why do guys never want a relationship with me?” Have you tried fixing yourself over and over again and tried to date outside your comfort zone? But are you wondering why nothing is working out in your favor?
Is there anything wrong with me? Why am I attracting men who are not interested in having a relationship with me?
Before you start blaming yourself and thinking that there is something wrong with you and be disheartened thinking that you will never attract a man who wants a relationship with you, read on to see if you actually can make slight improvements to your dating life to see a current outcome.
Hi, I’m Jasveena! Blogging since 2013, I share tips & stories about navigating relationships and finding meaningful connections. Read more about me.

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My Experience
Why do guys never want a relationship with me? I’ve been single since 2017 and prior to that, I took about three years to focus on myself after a breakup.
When I entered the dating scene, I explored dating apps and I’ve also tried talking to men introduced through mutual friends. However, after a couple of situationships and countless dates, I do question myself over and over again if I should “fix” myself to attract a lasting relationship.
Let’s face a fact – we all have our expectations and we want the best match possible. However, from my experience dating since 2017, and after talking to many people in the dating scene across the world, I particularly noticed a shift in the dating and relationship scene.
I remember a woman from the US from our online discussion on dating and relationships saying that if a woman has a PhD, is successful in her career, and wants a man like her, the guy she’s looking for is not looking for someone like her.
This is because more career-orientated men do not want to be in a relationship and they are focusing on traveling the world. They are not keen to settle down. I have to say that this is the scenario in the dating scene, leaving women with very little choice.
Women need to reconsider their choices when it comes to relationships because as soon they hit their 30s, men are already losing their hair, people have grey hair, more people are inching closer to getting diabetes and the criteria we were looking at in men in the 20s need to be revised.
Understanding the change in the dating and relationship dynamic will help us rethink our choices so that we can make an informed choice that lands us in a successful relationship.
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5 Reasons: Why Do Guys Never Want a Relationship With Me?
Usually, women and men will find people who are interested in them but they are not able to reciprocate possibly due to unmet expectations.
Well, let’s assume that a woman has never found at least one guy who wishes to be in a relationship with her – what possibly went wrong?
Why do guys never want a relationship with me? Here are some possible reasons why men may not find you attractive.
1) You Are A Feminazi
A man needs to feel like a man in a relationship. Meaning, that he has to be in his masculine energy and the woman needs to be feminine. Unfortunately, feminism has gone one notch extreme today where women who are successful in their careers tend to be aggressive and embrace masculinity more than they nurture their feminine side.
Feminazis who attack men and constantly downplay the role men play in our society are not going to be desired by men. Hyper independence trauma is real too as women who have been alone for a long time tend to prefer living alone, dismissing the need for a man.
2) You Have Too High Of A Standard
You have too high of a standard and this is possibly why you find yourself wondering “Why do guys never want a relationship with me”. Write down all the qualities you want in a partner and check yourself to see how many of them you’ve ticked so far.
Even if you have a high level of a standard, list down your non-negotiables and consider what aspects you can compromise.
In your 20s, you may have planned to want a few kids. But if you’re in your mid-thirties, it’s not reasonable to want to find a guy who wants a lot of kids because people’s preferences may change as they age.
You need to make realistic compromises as you age as well. Look at what a partner brings you – like a sense of peacefulness and security. If you have success in all other aspects, chances are you need to find a partner who can help you embrace the life that you want while being a good support for you. He doesn’t need to be as successful as you.
3) You Are Not A Cis Woman
This may not be the case for all women but if you’re not a cis woman, you may want to find a guy who can accept you for who are you. And by saying that, we all know that the percentage of men who are into trans women can be lower than those who are interested in cis women.
4) You Are Going After Emotionally Unavailable Men
This one is classic because honestly, even dating apps are changing into merely hookup platforms and people are becoming increasingly shallow on the apps, making women stuck with emotionally unavailable men although they are hot.
If you tend to get attracted to men who are hot and think calm and composed men are boring, you need to redefine what safety feels like in a relationship. There’s a high chance you keep dismissing the good enough men for wishy washy guys who give you butterflies but also break your heart.
5) You Have Differences in Values
This is definitely one of the deal breakers because if you have a different value system in life than most men who want a relationship – say you prefer a non-monogamous relationship, finding men who can accept your viewpoints can be a challenge.
You need to look into platforms that connect non-monogamous people and you know that the percentage of men you can find would be low.
How To Be More Attractive To Men Looking For Something Serious?
In all honesty, you don’t have to try hard to be appealing to anyone. But you certainly need to reevaluate your preferences in men and try dating men outside your type wholeheartedly for a few weeks to see if you feel different and safe with them.
If you keep dismissing men thinking they are boring or if you’ve been bonding over sex quickly in your past dating experiences, you need to change this pattern to see if you can finally accept different dating patterns.
Men who want relationships are serious and they may not be quick to commit but they surely take time to get to know you as well.
So, if you’re not receiving flowers unexpectedly and you think that he’s not showering you with gifts and endless phone calls, do understand that a slow burn is worthwhile as compared to fiery sparks that die out soon.
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FAQs
Why would a guy not want a relationship with you?
A guy may not want to have a relationship with you because he is afraid of not being able to meet your expectations in a relationship and he may also be not interested in relationships due to the insecure attachment he has faced in the past. Because of this, he could feel that a relationship is not always safe and he’s also afraid of commitments partly because he is afraid of not being able to meet them.
Why are men attracted to me but don’t want a relationship?
Men can be attracted to you but still choose not to have a relationship with you because they probably have so many other explanations for this which include wanting to focus on a career, still healing from past negative experiences in relationships, or probably being emotionally not ready for you.
Why do boys never choose me?
Boys never choose you probably because they have different values from you when it comes to relationships. It is essential for you to ask a man’s intention when he is pursuing a relationship because if the board of you are not on the same page, what can happen is that you probably would want a guy who is not aligned with you in terms of values.
Why do men never commit to me?
Men usually have struggles and commit to a relationship because they are not looking for one. A guy who is not stable in his career and thinks he is not ready to pursue a relationship will never commit to a woman. men who want to be in non-monogamous relationships also find that it is more fulfilling to have their desire to be with multiple women and relationships at one go be met by not committing to one relationship. This is mainly because he feels that his sexual emotional and mental connection needs are being taken care of by multiple people at once.