No Luck On Dating Apps? Here Are 5 Signs You Should Quit Them

You have seen your friends finding love on dating apps and try spending a lot of time on dating apps only to find that you have no luck on dating apps.

Have you seen dating coaches telling you how you should be going to the local bars, meeting people at local events, not having long-distance relationships, being on dating apps, or staying away from dating apps, and just so much other advice based on their own observations and understandings?

Does that make you feel pressured to do dating a certain way even though it does not really sit well with you? Have you actually felt that you have no luck on dating apps but still stick around thinking that you would miraculously find your person one fine day?

Are you confused between giving up on dating apps and losing hope on dating altogether? Do you feel that if you quit dating apps, you wouldn’t give yourself a chance to date people? Do you think that dating app is predominantly the only way you can date in this modern era?

I have been there and done that and I have pressured myself to be on dating apps just to be in the dating arena so that I do not miss out on chances to meet people. However, being 35 and single, I feel that I have come across a lot of low-quality dates from dating apps and it is not quite serving me well at this point. 

In this blog post, we will explore some of the hints that you may get from your intuition (intuition coaching is one of the best investments we can ever make in life) to quit dating apps and how you could listen to your intuition better to decide if you should continue being on dating apps or quit them.

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Signs You Have No Luck On Dating Apps

1. You Don’t Get Good Vibes From Dating Apps After Some Time Using Them.

Maybe you have been single for quite some time right now and you think that you need to find different ways to meet single people, dating apps are one of the ways you need to explore in order to meet singles. Let’s just say that you have been using dating apps for a few months or even a few years right now, and you actually have come across way more unpleasant people giving you bad experiences in dating, you would start feeling that you wouldn’t find love. 

In other words, you actually would start feeling negative about dating, think you have no luck on dating apps, and feel like giving up on dating altogether because of the repeated negative experiences that you gain from dating online.

A lot of people at this point in time would revamp their dating profiles, add more pictures, be more mindful about what they add to their dating profiles, and even listen to a lot of dating experts in order to curate the best possible dating profiles in order to match with people that are looking for long-term relationships.

I’m sure you know what they say, don’t add pictures with your friends in it, add a full-sized picture, add something that shows the fun side of you, and blah blah blah.

So you try doing all of those things and you still do not see an improvement in the matches that you get through dating apps. This is definitely a sign that you need to take a break from dating apps up ahead and even question yourself why you are on dating apps.

If you find yourself trying so hard to find matches on dating apps, are you in the perception that you can only find love on dating apps? Is that the reason why you’re trying so hard to still swipe right on people that you somehow know are not quite a good match for you?

2. You Keep Meeting The Same People Across Different Apps

Bumble vs Hinge vs Tinder! I’m sure you have come across a lot of posts online reviewing various dating apps available out there on the Play Store and Apple Store. You actually try downloading all three apps in the hope that you will meet different people across all these dating apps. Why not? It is only natural to think that you would need more people if you had more dating apps on your phone.

However, have you ever come across a point in time where you keep meeting the same people on all the dating apps that you have on your phone and you feel you have no luck on dating apps? And this could be one of those exes that you really despise and would not want to be in touch with (happened to me, and I reported him twice on Bumble. Kudos to Bumble for taking action on it.)

If it has been quite some time since you have met the same people on all these apps, it is time for you to reevaluate your purpose of being on dating apps. Because it only means that there is a limited pool of people in your city and it could also mean that you have dated quite a number of these people and things have not progressed further.

Therefore, being on dating apps in the same city will only limit your chances of meeting new people. This could also keep you in a limited mindset where you think that you would not be able to meet new people.

This is the time when you need to take a break from dating apps and come back much later, or quit dating apps for some time and try different ways of meeting new people, or just stay content being single and focus on yourself for a bit.

3. The People You Meet Are Not Living In Your City

Ever thought that you would need the love of your life while traveling to a city for a vacation, like meeting a stranger and miraculously finding love at the same time? Well, this happened to one of my ex-colleagues, when he met his wife when he was vacationing in Bali.

I know these fairy tale love stories give us a lot of hope in finding love at the most random places and times.

However, realistically speaking, to make things work in dating, meeting in real person is something fundamentally important. When you are not living in the same city as a vast majority of your matches, you will end up having a lot of phone conversations with people or even video chats while waiting to meet in person.

During this period, you could develop a false sense of perception about people that you are dating. You may think they are kind and loving or even attractive until you meet them in person.

Imagine dating someone online for five months thinking that you like them, until you meet them and you feel that you cannot vibe with them anymore! Wouldn’t that be a painful experience for you to overcome? You would then think you have no luck on dating apps even in reality, you’re not strategically located with your matches.

So, if you are living in a city where the chances of meeting your matches are quite slim, you need to reevaluate the purpose of being on dating apps.

I’m not saying that long-term relationships cannot be formed through a long-distance dating process. However, for a vast majority of people, meeting in person and spending time is something extremely crucial and therefore if you have matches in the same city, it will make things easier for both of you.

4. When You Bump Into A Lot Of Shady People On Dating Apps

Online dating is an excellent way of meeting a lot of people within a short period, and it saves a lot of time actually because you wouldn’t need to spend time attending events or participating in a lot of different activities just to meet people from all walks of life.

However, like Tinder, a lot of dating apps that were originally designed and even improved to enhance the user experience for a seamless dating process, have turned into sides that scammers and shady people use to exploit users for discreet dates. If you are wondering why do guys like situationships, you are not alone!

I’m sure you’ve heard of online dating scammers and people masking their real identity, trying to cheat people online. How many of you have actually come across nice-looking gentlemen or ladies only to find out that they are married people or they are 10 years older than what they claim to be on the dating profiles?

Did you know that 25% of Tinder users are married?

It is a sad reality that dating apps have turned into garbage over time and this has made the dating process even harder.

It is very difficult to find dating apps that are specifically dedicated to those looking for long-term relationships. What we have now on Bumble, Hinge, and also Tinder is people who are looking for various forms of relationships.

Some are there looking for casual relationships, some looking for long-term relationships and the best part of all is a lot of people do not even know what they are looking for and therefore they pick the “don’t know what I’m looking for” option on the relationship preference question.

If you’re looking for a long-term relationship and come across people who tell you they are looking for a long-term relationship but eventually show that they want something casual, this would only frustrate you further because filtering people out based on preference and intention will become harder. Of course, this is a sign that you have no luck on dating apps.

5. When You Truly Feel In The Gut That This Is Not How You’re Going To Meet Your Person

Although you have been seeing a lot of your friends or even dating gurus finding success in online dating, it is the subtle message that you get from your intuition saying that this is not for you.

When I first started online dating, I was hopeful because I had a few friends who found love on dating apps and I was under the impression that I should not take rejection and unpleasant experiences that I found on dating apps personally.

However, as time passed, I began to feel that dating apps are being used by people who are just looking to pass the time without the intention of finding someone for a long-term relationship. The vast majority of people are there only to find fleeting connections and casual relationships.

This is not to say that I have not found good people on dating apps. I came across one of my university seniors on dating apps and we started talking. He was a very nice person and I was glad that I came across him on Bumble. However, finding someone like that has become a rare occasion on dating apps recently, so I have decided it is not worth the pressure to be on dating apps just to find someone nice occasionally.

If you strongly feel that dating apps are not for you, or that you need to take a break from them, you should listen to your gut feelings and take the necessary action that aligns with your soul’s needs.

Do what feels easy for you and maintain your integrity in anything that you do related to dating.

My Experience

I used to force myself to stay positive on dating apps, after seeing a few of my friends finding luck on dating apps. This includes downloading and deleting dating apps, and then downloading them again when I feel I am missing out on the opportunities to date people, because well, Facebook and other social media platforms were not really working for me in order to connect with people who are specifically looking for relationship.

However, deep inside my heart, I knew that I was not getting the right vibe from people who were on dating apps. When I first downloaded dating apps in 2018, I actually came across nice people who were brief companions for me, and I am still in touch with them. However, after that point, I don’t really come across anyone worth mentioning.

Being 35 and single, I told myself I would focus on myself more, and I finally dared to stay away from dating apps without the fear of missing out on the opportunities to date people, because I finally could accept what feels good for me, and not panic when making the decision of staying away from the apps for a bit knowing I can find a companion (if you are wondering is situationship good) despite not being on the apps. 

FAQs

Why don’t I have any luck on dating apps?

While there are a lot of reasons why you don’t find luck on dating apps, and these reasons may not necessarily stem from you, the people on dating apps may not be clear about the person they want to meet, or in other words, shady individuals who are not meeting your needs of dating for a long-term relationship.

Why I don’t get any matches on dating apps?

For you to be able to stand out on dating apps, you should be your genuine self but at the same time ensure that you invest enough effort to complete your dating profiles with information that would help daters choose you if they are looking for someone like you. This includes portraying a positive attitude and showcasing your real pictures. If you aren’t doing this yet, you have a snobbish or negative profile.