Should I Pull Away From Him: 3 Useful Sure Ways To Find Out

Should I pull away from him? Probably you are dating someone right now or you might even be in a relationship with someone and you are wondering “Should I pull away from him”, maybe because you do not want to seem too needy or if you want to test if he is really into you or you are not comfortable and you want to end the connection with this person.

Whatever the circumstances, let’s just see what you should do when you feel that you should pull away from him.

My Experience

Should I pull away from him? I’ve had confusions like this before in my dating journey and this is especially true when I find myself being attached to someone in the early phase of dating and when I feel that I would be hurting myself by getting attached too fast especially when they are not really invested in the process of getting to know.  

However, in strange cases where I have noticed guys who do not want to pursue romantic relationships but still want to remain friends with me give me the ick, I choose to pull away from people like this to stay in and protect my energy. I have spoken about this extensively in a post entitled Why He’s Not Ready For A Relationship But Wants To Be Friends?

Apart from that, I also think that one should pull away from a guy if she thinks that she wants to slow things down and be grounded enough in order to weigh the pros and cons of dating a person.

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Should I Pull Away From Him? Yes If:

So, let’s look at some of the scenarios where you should indeed pull away from this guy that you are dating or you are in a relationship with.

1. You Are More Invested In Him 

If you think that you are more invested in him and also in the process of getting to know this person compared to him, you should consider pulling away from him a little bit and let him show if he is interested in you. 

This is because women are wired to want to be pursued instead of pursuing men in general. Should women pursue men? They can, however, if you think you are a woman who would want to be pursued and you do not want to put in all the effort to chase someone, then you should definitely pull away from him because being too excited about him is going to possibly hurt you when you face disappointments.

2. You Want To Give Him The Chance To Miss You

Should I pull away from him? If you want to give him the chance to miss you and take the lead instead of initiating conversations and showing that you are interested in him, you should pull away from him. This allows you to gauge his interest in you and to truly see if he wants to initiate a connection with you even without you initiating first. This is also a chance for you to see if he even notices when you have reduced your effort in reaching out to him.

Because, if he had noticed and he wants to reach out to you before he lost access to your energy and interest, he would definitely reach out to you. 

However, beware that narcissists can use this tactic in order to make you believe that they are interested in you when they are only breadcrumbing and they are not interested in investing in a relationship with you.

3. You Want To Slow Things Down

You should pull away from him if you want to slow things down and you want to take time in getting to know someone without the highs and the lows of a new relationship and a new connection.

This is not to say that you should avoid him but you should play a part in reducing the intensity of your communication with him. If you have been texting him and speaking to him over the phone every single day, what you can do is take a break in between by saying that you have other priorities like hobbies to attend to.

4. You Are Not Comfortable

You should also pull away if you’re not comfortable talking to someone that makes you feel it’s not safe or maybe you could even feel not interested in them anymore after some time seeing them. 

This is a good strategy if you want to slow things down to see if you like this person. This is good to be implemented after you have been on a date with a guy a few times and you are actually confused if you like him or not. 

Pulling away from him would give you the headspace to think straight and make the right decision without feeling that you have been guilt-tripped by him being nice to you or being consistent in reaching out to you.

5. You Want To End Things With Him

Well, this is a no-brainer because if you want to end things with someone you either would tell them upfront that this is not working or if you are not comfortable hurting your feelings by being super direct, what you can do is pull away from him a little bit and gradually drop the intensity of communication so that he can be prepared to receive your feedback. 

When you pull away from a guy who is interested in you, it would signal that you are not really into him anymore and then telling him that you want to end things with him would have given him some time to prepare to receive the message.

Should Women Pursue Men? Is It Wrong?

1. No – If You Are Expressive

If you are expressive and you are the type that wants to express your opinion freely without withholding your thoughts and opinions, it is never wrong for a woman like you to pursue men. 

We’ve come a long way with feminism and fighting for equality making sure that women’s opinions are heard in the public and it would be counter-intuitive to tell women not to pursue men or even tell them that they should not express their feelings towards men.

2. No- If You Can Take Rejections

No, we all know that the downside of expressing our feelings openly to someone is risking rejection and a lot of people are not good with receiving rejection well. So, if you’re a woman and you think that you can take rejection well, it is not wrong for you to pursue someone that you like. 

You have to remember that expressing your feelings and emotions does not guarantee a favorable outcome. However, the good thing is that you know that you would have spoken your mind and you would not have this regret of not expressing your emotions for the rest of your life. It’s like you have the answer and you don’t need to dwell on it anymore.

3. Yes – If You Expect Men To Make The Move First

A lot of women actually have the desire to be pursued because women naturally are wired to feel wanted and pursued in a relationship.

If you always have wanted to have the men to make the first move and you think that it is not feminine enough if you were to make the first move and if you are a bit traditional when it comes to dating, this may not be the best option for you and you should just let the man reach out to you.

4. Yes – If You Would Doubt He Likes You In The Future

If you think that you would doubt how much he likes you in the future, this method may not work for you.

It’s like, even if you are in a relationship with this guy that you like and you have made the first move, if you are the type of woman that would doubt if he likes you as much as you like him, then this would not be the best option for you.

FAQs

What happens if I pull away from a guy?

If you pull away from a guy, there are two things that can happen. The first is his noticing that you have pulled away from him and if he is interested in our sustaining a connection with you, he would reach out to you and try to reciprocate effort and interest. The second thing that could happen and a lot of women would despise this happening is the fact that the guy would not even notice that you have pulled away from him and he would just go about his daily life like nothing has affected him. This goes to show that you are not important in his life but it also gives you the information that you need in order to move forward and find someone better.

How to pull away from a guy you like?

The first thing that you need to identify is how you connected to this person. Are you in touch with him through Instagram? Are you watching his Instagram stories? Are you texting him every day? maybe phone calls every day? Reduce the intensity of you checking out his social media handles and do not reach out to him first through texts or phone calls.

Do men pull away when they catch feelings?

It is noteworthy to remember that people react differently when they catch feelings and therefore men, can react differently as well. Pulling away when people like someone or if they have caught feelings with someone, can be something that people do if they want to reevaluate their feelings and emotions. Men can also do this if they are not ready for a relationship.

How to make him miss you when he pulls away?

• Do not respond immediately to his texts.
• Talk to other men.
• Focus on how well you look.
• Do not block him on social media.