Casual Sex For Women: 3 Proven Reasons Why We Really Had Enough Of It

So, by advocating casual sex for women, we all know that the Bumble Fumble has riled up quite a bit of a debate online, especially among people who are enthusiastic about relationships and dating. 

Bumble’s recent advertisement that suggests women should ditch celibate dating has made singles rethink their option to have casual sex for women, or the hoe phase after breakup because women now want to reclaim their power over sexuality as they no longer want to have sex for the sake of having sex and competing with men to attain the freedom of having sex whenever they wanted without being s***-shamed.

So, despite women being feminists in today’s era, let’s look at the three top reasons why women choose not to have casual sex anymore when dating and why this has happened especially in terms of the shift in mindset. Find tips on how you could embrace sacred sensuality at the end of this post!

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My Experience

As someone who had taken more than a couple of years to recover from heartbreak, I’ve stayed single most of my 20s and only started dating after my mid-20s. As a 35 and single woman, celibacy was great until I started dating in my 30s, and the fear of missing out kicked in when all my friends were getting married.

Skin hunger is real and it affects human beings psychologically. Is situationship good? Women are free to define their sexuality but first, let’s look at what we human beings crave the most. It’s usually attention and connection for women.

However, when we look at it objectively, non-committal relationships hardly fulfill us and our needs. That’s the reason why women shift their focus from one man to another to find a companion, but end up feeling lonelier and miserable.

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Casual Sex For Women: Why We’re Done With It?

Why are women done with casual sex? After all, sex is one of the most important needs of human beings and we all crave physical touch. What were the reasons behind the uproar in the dating community when Bumble came out with its ridiculous advertisement suggesting that women should ditch celibacy?

1. Women Don’t Get Treated Well By Men

Think about this for a moment. If couples in a committed relationship find it so difficult to have a fulfilling sexual life and if it takes a lot of hard work for people in a committed relationship to continuously have a good sex life, what is in store for singles who have casual sex?

Most women complain about not achieving orgasm and not having enough foreplay when having sex with the men in their lives. Rushed sex and one partner feeling unfulfilled with sex is what leads to sexual frustration in many adults. 

If it takes a lot of work to educate men on what women want in bed, imagine how difficult it would be to feel satisfied in bed with someone that you’re not in a relationship with. 

Let’s not forget about sexual assault and women getting spiked in the bars – we see women being treated poorly when men want sex without commitment.

More women feel that casual sex for women is a bad idea because no man is going to be bothered about what turns on and what makes her feel good in bed.

2. Women Crave Sex From The Wrong Men

Another reason why casual sex for women can be a bad idea is because women will then crave sex from the wrong men; men who are not ready for commitment but probably are good in bed. We all know that sex is addictive and whenever we have sex with someone, we form a connection with them. 

This “feel good” perception will make women reach out to men who give butterflies in the stomach, the spark, and strong sexual chemistry even if they are not good for them. This pattern runs deep into their dating lives as well, whereby they tend to judge someone based on how physically attractive they are and ignore the slow-burn affection (slow burn vs spark has been debated a lot in the dating community), as well as other healthy hallmarks of a relationship.

3. No Commitment Even If The Sex Is Good – We Are Never Truly Satisfied

Casual sex for women is a double-edged sword. With the freedom to live a liberating sexual life, comes the great pain of not being able to feel a deep sense of satisfaction.

This is true because physical connection alone does not fulfill us, and when women think they can satisfy their carnal desires without a commitment from men, they are proven wrong as they continuously feel empty deep inside. 

What happens when she wants intimacy and initiates with a man that she’s in a situationship with? If he’s not able to fulfill her desires, if he’s busy or perhaps has other side chicks to entertain, she’s going to be ignored.

Feminism and Sex-Positivity

In the past decade, we’ve seen how feminism enabled women to embrace sexuality and they were able to have sex without being shamed, just like how men were able to enjoy sex without judgment.

This led to the sex-positivity moment. However, not many people were about to have conscious sex. It’s extremely hard to find meaningful casual sex when the basis of casual sex is more like a one-night stand with a lot of “Are you up” texts at night only when someone is horny.

This led to frustration in women, especially, because we demand more than just sex most of the time, and women connect emotionally in sex, causing more damage for them than for the men involved.

How To Embrace Sacred Sensuality?

Physical touch and intimacy are undeniably important and one cannot just have solo sex all the time because we ultimately crave connection with others in life.

However, we should all remember that having random connections with people can be more detrimental in real life because if they are not respectful enough and do not make the effort to meet our needs as much as we meet theirs, we will feel incomplete and disappointed. 

That is the reason why people say it is better to be alone than to be in the wrong company. Over the last few years of being single and also living alone, I have embraced some of the self-care practices that have helped me a lot.

Try having date nights with yourself and always have these things prepared at home to enjoy your solo sex: 

1. Fragrance candles – I love them and I use them even as a single woman to embrace sexuality and create a relaxing environment at home.

2. Inexpensive sexy lingerie and night robes – this is self-explanatory because we should remember that using sexy lingerie is not just for a date night out with a partner but we can also enjoy this when we are single. It means that we are enjoying our being and our body, we are appreciating ourselves for who we are.

Massage oils candles – while it can be extremely fulfilling to play with massage oils when we have a partner, we can also incorporate a subtle and sensual touch on our own using massage oils to feel good about ourselves. Remember, our pleasure is largely our responsibility.

Cute living room lighting to create a warm ambiance – I have this cute cozy setup in my living room and I enjoy sitting on my couch every evening watching TV and just soaking in the atmosphere even without a partner.

Sexy Middle-Eastern music playlist – there’s something extremely sexy about Middle-Eastern music that I find very irresistible. It makes me feel sexy and it helps me tune to my Femininity. I would suggest you explore music and see what fits your needs better.

Quick nail polish 💅🏽 fix – you do not need to go to the nail parlor to get your nail fixed. You can always play with the DIY kits available online to switch nail colors and just make yourself feel happy.

Enjoy Belly Dance online classes – if you don’t know yet, There are tons of online belly dance classes that you can try at home and also become part of the community so that you have more support from women who think alike in your journey to embracing sensuality.

Remember, it doesn’t have to be costly and you can always enjoy time alone with yourself by doing so many different things that you have never done in your life to keep the spark and mystery alive. Casual sex for women does not necessarily fix the problems that women face in life.

FAQs

Is it okay to have casual sex as a woman?

It is okay for a woman to engage in casual sex, however safe and consensual sex is still important because it involves safety. Women also need to remember to have conscious sex because sexual assault can happen if women have sex with the wrong partners. Privacy is also another concern because one would not want to be threatened or be exposed after a sexual encounter.

What percentage of women have casual sex?

It is a fact that the percentage of women having casual sex has dropped drastically from 2007 when 31% of single and unpartnered women were reported to have sexual intercourse in the past month but only 22% said the how to sexual intercourse in 2017. This trend is also true for men whereby the percentage dropped from 38 in 2007 to 24 in 2017 according to this journal. 

What counts as casual sex?

Casual sex refers to sexual encounters that happen without two people being in a romantic or committed relationship. Usually, they also are not familiar with each other and they do not have any sort of emotional attachment towards one another. This includes casual dating, one-night stands, prostitution or swinging, and friends-with-benefits relationships.

Can a man sleep with a woman without developing feelings?

Men who want casual sex usually can sleep with a woman without developing feelings for her because they were not looking for love when they wanted casual sex. Only when a man has a love intention, will he be able to develop feelings for women. However, this is not a rule of thumb because those who are connected through casual sex have eventually entered into a relationship, but this is not the norm.